Dost Thou Recognize the Lyrics? (Shakespeare Lyrics)

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Can you name the songs given their lyrics as if sung by Shakespeare?

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Shakespearian LyricsSongReal Lyrics
If by chance thou beest fond of it, thou should adorn it with thy golden hoop.
What amount of roads is a chap forced to stroll upon, before thou recognises his status as a gentleman?
On occasions I will thrust my hands toward the sky, exclaiming the first and fifteenth letter of the alphabet, it is necessary to release.
Thine had the potential to possess it all, twirling in the end of a swimming pool that is considered the opposite of shallow.
All of thine dwelleth in a vessel that submerges under the ocean which is the color of the sun.
And the entire female populace proclaimed I am rather trendy for a caucasian fellow.
Thine attempted to force thou into rehabilitation alas I proclaimed nay, nay, nay.
Gesturing with my cranium like AYE, rapidly positioning my pelvic arch like AYE.
We discovered affection within a useless vicinity, we discovered affection within a useless vicinity.
Goodness gracious, Rebecca, observe thy gluteus maximus
Doth thou ever feel, similar to a satchel of the plastic variety?
Oh, inscribed within the celestial orbs, one million miles from here.
Observe me now, observe me now oh, I am acquiring parchment.
Ergo, thine become intoxicated? Ergo, thine inhale marijuana fumes? Thine art merely enjoying a merry time, regardless of those observing.
Greetings, I have recently been in your acquaintance, and this is absurd, alas I present to thee my contact details, so hail thou perhaps.
Shakespearian LyricsSongReal Lyrics
The female hath fruit bottomed denim pantaloons, heavy footwear adorned with animal skin.
My smooth dairy product attracts all the gentlemen to the recreational field
Who doth thou sense thou art? Parading about leaving blemishes, accumulating thy container of cardiovascular organs.
Recently, I engaged in intercourse, and the feeling was one of delight.
Would you do me the honour of instructing me how to Douglas?
Somebody alert the authorities! Thine female of small stature is ablaze on the floor of the ballroom.
The child-bearer of Stacy, hath lustfulness in abundance. The child-bearer of Stacy, hath lustfulness in abundance.
What thou fails to comprehend is that I would seize explosive munitions for thou, thrust my metacarpus on a scythe for thou.
Proceed, person of small stature, as if 'twere the day of thine's birth.
The temperature in this vicinity is becoming increasingly sweltering, so remove the remainder of thou's garments.
All the young folk with the air inflated shoes thou hast dash, hast dash, with a higher acceleration than that of my firearm.
Arise in the morn feeling similar to the way Sean Coombs doth.
I am voluptuous and I am aware of this.
Should thou make a discovery most bizarre within thine parish, who shall thee beckon? The eradicator of ghouls!
Lad, you hath my cardiac pulsation cantering away, striking similar to a percussion instrument and it cometh towards thee.

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