| Quote | Character |
| 'People choose the paths that grant them the greatest rewards for the least amount of effort.' | |
| 'We should look into the girlfriend's theory... She thinks she rode him to death.' | |
| 'I have one evening with you, one chance. And I don't want to waste it talking about what movies you like or what wines you hate. I want to know how you feel—about me.' | |
| 'Some of us pop pain pills, I cheat. We all have our vices.' | |
| 'It was easy once I convinced the clerk to take it to Judge Markem; he's a sucker for Eighth Amendment arguments.' | |
| 'I like you, really... we have a good time working together. But ten years from now, we're not gonna be hanging out, having dinners. Maybe we'll exchange Christmas cards, say 'hi'. | |
| 'If I get drunk enough there's a chance I might make out with one of the strippers. Or become one.' | |
| | Quote | Character |
| 'You know, in some cultures, it's considered almost rude for one friend to spy on another. Of course, in Swedish, the word 'friend' can also be translated as 'limping twerp.' ' | |
| 'Yeah, we have a pecking order here, if Cameron kills somebody, Chase takes over. There's a flow chart in the lobby.' | |
| 'The numbers look bad, the study looks bad.' | |
| 'I don't wanna sue you. I wanna beat the crap outta you.' | |
| 'In college, I was really into science fiction. But not like the guys with the six-hundred-dollar prosthetic ears who could swear in Romulan.' | |
| 'Drug addicts use drugs is a stereotype? 'Drugs are bad' is a stereotype?' | |
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