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Profile: Sheldon Cooper
'People choose the paths that grant them the greatest rewards for the least amount of effort.'
'We should look into the girlfriend's theory... She thinks she rode him to death.'
'I have one evening with you, one chance. And I don't want to waste it talking about what movies you like or what wines you hate. I want to know how you feel—about me.'
'Some of us pop pain pills, I cheat. We all have our vices.'
'It was easy once I convinced the clerk to take it to Judge Markem; he's a sucker for Eighth Amendment arguments.'
'I like you, really... we have a good time working together. But ten years from now, we're not gonna be hanging out, having dinners. Maybe we'll exchange Christmas cards, say 'hi'.
'If I get drunk enough there's a chance I might make out with one of the strippers. Or become one.'
'You know, in some cultures, it's considered almost rude for one friend to spy on another. Of course, in Swedish, the word 'friend' can also be translated as 'limping twerp.' '
'Yeah, we have a pecking order here, if Cameron kills somebody, Chase takes over. There's a flow chart in the lobby.'
'The numbers look bad, the study looks bad.'
'I don't wanna sue you. I wanna beat the crap outta you.'
'In college, I was really into science fiction. But not like the guys with the six-hundred-dollar prosthetic ears who could swear in Romulan.'
'Drug addicts use drugs is a stereotype? 'Drugs are bad' is a stereotype?'
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