Just For Fun / Criminal Law Cases

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Can you name the Criminal Law Cases?

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FactsCase
I Sporcle. Wasted Time Is My Punishment.
Serbian soldier kills to save his own life. Genocide is sad all around.
Defendants' fault for robbing a shopkeeper with a weak heart, obviously.
Pass.
Civil negligence becomes criminal when you spill millions of gallons of oil over poor Alaskan animals.
You shouldn't kick a man while he's down, or shoot a guy while he's dead.
Mother denied child support has no standing to have father pay. Now that's wack!
Crazy bank robber hatches crazy bank-robbery plan. Hilarity ensues.
Duty to retreat applies, even if you're attacked by a crazy neighbor with a large fork. Ah, New Jersey.
Husband shoots at another man who returns from the woods with his wife. Maybe he was just showing her some birds and bees?
If the police had taken him to the Kong, his conduct would have been totally normal!
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can't be sufficient provocation for murder!
A nice neighbor takes in a mother who kills her baby. It's harder than usual to make these case clues funny.
Fortunately for me, releasing noxious gas is not a crime.
I hope they serve moonshine in hell.
Young boy dies in Russian Roulette. Too sad to make a joke about.
Drug addiction insufficient to prove insanity. Haven't these judges ever tried LSD?
Don't think listening to music should be criminal? Have you ever heard 'Call Me Maybe?'
We can't prosecute prison guards who abuse prisoners, because then the public would know that prison guards abuse prisoners. That makes sense how?
Life sentence for a bad check. Now that's what I call reforming Wall Street!
Battered wife can't claim self-defense for killing abusive husband, even after direct threats.
Selective prosecution doesn't happen. No need for discovery -- just trust us.
Drug dealers protecting a drug deal are part of a conspiracy to sell drugs. *does Enfield move.* Yep, makes sense.
This turkey-shooting chase should have been named after Dick Cheney.
You can't claim self-defense if you start the conflict. Sorry, George Zimmerman.
Mistake in fact is no defense to orgy.
No loitering, standing around, or generally acting like a minority. Even the Supreme Court realized there was something wrong here.
FactsCase
Lethal self-defense permissible only against deadly threat. Makes sense.
All I can remember about this case is that I don't want to mess with Jason Orr.
Pharmaceutical company president held strictly liable for something or other. Maybe it was his strange name? (No xenophobe.)
In most states, there's a higher standard for criminal negligence than for civil negligence. Even in the Southwest.
No felony murder for doctor who promises more than he delivers. McGee breathes a sigh of relief.
Coughlan doesn't think Indians dying is sad. Manifest Destiny, baby.
There are prostitutes using phone services these days? I definitely need a smartphone now!
The skier was skiing... recklessly.
Group drives around looking for man to rob, can't find him. Not much of an attempt, if you ask me.
I'd be happy to refer you to several marijuana dealers, just as long as you don't give me anything for my services.
Armed robbery not a foreseeable result of gun sale. He was probably just buying the gun to scratch his head or trade for skis.
Canada's approach to strict liability is much better than ours. Right, Layne?
Criminally negligent ship engineer is complicit in ship explosion. He was too busy painting naked women in 'only this.'
No minimum period for premeditation when defendant kills spouse. I thought that premeditation period was just called 'marriage.'
Capital punishment isn't arbitrary and capricious... as long as states pretend it isn't.
Stopping a telegraph aids murderers, so there's complicity. What's a telegraph again?
Making the death penalty non-discriminatory would be 'too much justice.'
'You can call me _____, shooting bad kids on a train!'
Death penalty for juveniles is unconstitutional. Also something about Amish people in electic cars.
Every man for himself in the Wild West. So keep on moving, no conspiracies to see here.
Rape on college campus. Mistake in fact may be a defense, but not when force is involved.
Friends don't let friends drive drunk. Or come to a party and kill people.
The 'merger' doctrine for felony murder is confusing enough to begin with. This case just makes it worse.
Unconsciousness is a complete defense to homicide, even when you're a Black Panther.
Child neglect is inherently dangerous. That was seriously a question?
The defendant fails to care for a baby, who dies. A lack of a general legal duty doesn't free him from being a terrible person.
Three strikes, sentencing proportionality is out!
FactsCase
'Dear Prison, I'm being sexually assaulted, so I'm going to escape now. Kthanxbye!'
Mens rea requirement or not, it's probably not a great idea to smoke around a ship-load of rum...
The 'ostrich' instruction fails when man drives marijuana across the border. Too bad.
I don't care if the CEO was strictly liable. I'm still never buying from Acme grocery stores.
Note to prosecutors: the jury can nullify. So make sure you get jurors who don't know what that is!
Movie theatres 'agree' to show 'What Happens in Vegas' in all theaters. Must be a criminal conspiracy.
Battered wife can't claim self-defense for killing abusive husband.
Demonstrates the traditional force/resistance requirement for rape. Don't worry, ladies -- no jokes here.
This guy was strictly liable for selling opium derivatives. It was fun while it lasted!
Jilted lover suffers extreme emotional distress and murders ex. What, the store was out of flowers?
Claiming necessity in advance is sort of like planning when you'll be 'sick' from school.
Brit tries to assassinate Prime Minister, but kills Secretary instead. As punishment, his name is forever associated with insanity.
If only those stranded sailors knew how to fish...
Didn't this guy ever read Bird v. Holbrook?
Consent is sexy.
Juveniles can't get life without parole for non-violent offenses. Bryan Stevenson, you rock.
Defendant was so enraged by an insult about his nose that he killed immediately, without time to premeditate.
Chiropractor submits fake bills due to threats from local crime boss. Wasn't this on the Sopranos?
The 'natural and probable consequence' of taking this Sporcle is a P in Crim. Go and do some real studying already!
Extremely reckless driving qualifies as manslaughter. Got that, Delgado?
Rape shield law upheld. Good call.
Moral of the story: if you ever want to steal government property, just say you thought it was 'abandoned.'
HIV positive man has lots of unprotected sex, possibly to compensate for 'little pecker.'
Believe it or not, spreading fake blood at the local IRS office was not necessary to stop a conflict in El Salvador. Sorry, Thoreau.
Bank robber convicted of attempt while walking peacefully out of bank. Butch Cassidy is probably screwed for life.
When it comes to progressive rape law, Europe is the new Canada.

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