Criminal Law Cases

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Can you name the Criminal Law Cases?

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FactsCase
You can't claim self-defense if you start the conflict. Sorry, George Zimmerman.
No minimum period for premeditation when defendant kills spouse. I thought that premeditation period was just called 'marriage.'
Making the death penalty non-discriminatory would be 'too much justice.'
Battered wife can't claim self-defense for killing abusive husband.
Didn't this guy ever read Bird v. Holbrook?
The 'merger' doctrine for felony murder is confusing enough to begin with. This case just makes it worse.
Juveniles can't get life without parole for non-violent offenses. Bryan Stevenson, you rock.
Brit tries to assassinate Prime Minister, but kills Secretary instead. As punishment, his name is forever associated with insanity.
Duty to retreat applies, even if you're attacked by a crazy neighbor with a large fork. Ah, New Jersey.
This turkey-shooting chase should have been named after Dick Cheney.
'You can call me _____, shooting bad kids on a train!'
Stopping a telegraph aids murderers, so there's complicity. What's a telegraph again?
Mens rea requirement or not, it's probably not a great idea to smoke around a ship-load of rum...
I don't care if the CEO was strictly liable. I'm still never buying from Acme grocery stores.
I Sporcle. Wasted Time Is My Punishment.
Capital punishment isn't arbitrary and capricious... as long as states pretend it isn't.
Extremely reckless driving qualifies as manslaughter. Got that, Delgado?
Young boy dies in Russian Roulette. Too sad to make a joke about.
Believe it or not, spreading fake blood at the local IRS office was not necessary to stop a conflict in El Salvador. Sorry, Thoreau.
Selective prosecution doesn't happen. No need for discovery -- just trust us.
Mother denied child support has no standing to have father pay. Now that's wack!
There are prostitutes using phone services these days? I definitely need a smartphone now!
The skier was skiing... recklessly.
The 'natural and probable consequence' of taking this Sporcle is a P in Crim. Go and do some real studying already!
No felony murder for doctor who promises more than he delivers. McGee breathes a sigh of relief.
Moral of the story: if you ever want to steal government property, just say you thought it was 'abandoned.'
Death penalty for juveniles is unconstitutional. Also something about Amish people in electic cars.
FactsCase
Defendants' fault for robbing a shopkeeper with a weak heart, obviously.
No loitering, standing around, or generally acting like a minority. Even the Supreme Court realized there was something wrong here.
Crazy bank robber hatches crazy bank-robbery plan. Hilarity ensues.
The 'ostrich' instruction fails when man drives marijuana across the border. Too bad.
Don't think listening to music should be criminal? Have you ever heard 'Call Me Maybe?'
Note to prosecutors: the jury can nullify. So make sure you get jurors who don't know what that is!
Civil negligence becomes criminal when you spill millions of gallons of oil over poor Alaskan animals.
The defendant fails to care for a baby, who dies. A lack of a general legal duty doesn't free him from being a terrible person.
Chiropractor submits fake bills due to threats from local crime boss. Wasn't this on the Sopranos?
Mistake in fact is no defense to orgy.
Serbian soldier kills to save his own life. Genocide is sad all around.
Drug dealers protecting a drug deal are part of a conspiracy to sell drugs. *does Enfield move.* Yep, makes sense.
Rape on college campus. Mistake in fact may be a defense, but not when force is involved.
Life sentence for a bad check. Now that's what I call reforming Wall Street!
Demonstrates the traditional force/resistance requirement for rape. Don't worry, ladies -- no jokes here.
Fortunately for me, releasing noxious gas is not a crime.
In most states, there's a higher standard for criminal negligence than for civil negligence. Even in the Southwest.
'Dear Prison, I'm being sexually assaulted, so I'm going to escape now. Kthanxbye!'
Bank robber convicted of attempt while walking peacefully out of bank. Butch Cassidy is probably screwed for life.
Movie theatres 'agree' to show 'What Happens in Vegas' in all theaters. Must be a criminal conspiracy.
Pharmaceutical company president held strictly liable for something or other. Maybe it was his strange name? (No xenophobe.)
You shouldn't kick a man while he's down, or shoot a guy while he's dead.
I'd be happy to refer you to several marijuana dealers, just as long as you don't give me anything for my services.
Rape shield law upheld. Good call.
This guy was strictly liable for selling opium derivatives. It was fun while it lasted!
Three strikes, sentencing proportionality is out!
Consent is sexy.
FactsCase
Claiming necessity in advance is sort of like planning when you'll be 'sick' from school.
Canada's approach to strict liability is much better than ours. Right, Layne?
Defendant was so enraged by an insult about his nose that he killed immediately, without time to premeditate.
We can't prosecute prison guards who abuse prisoners, because then the public would know that prison guards abuse prisoners. That makes sense how?
When it comes to progressive rape law, Europe is the new Canada.
Criminally negligent ship engineer is complicit in ship explosion. He was too busy painting naked women in 'only this.'
If only those stranded sailors knew how to fish...
If the police had taken him to the Kong, his conduct would have been totally normal!
Every man for himself in the Wild West. So keep on moving, no conspiracies to see here.
I hope they serve moonshine in hell.
Husband shoots at another man who returns from the woods with his wife. Maybe he was just showing her some birds and bees?
Unconsciousness is a complete defense to homicide, even when you're a Black Panther.
Pass.
A nice neighbor takes in a mother who kills her baby. It's harder than usual to make these case clues funny.
Battered wife can't claim self-defense for killing abusive husband, even after direct threats.
Jilted lover suffers extreme emotional distress and murders ex. What, the store was out of flowers?
HIV positive man has lots of unprotected sex, possibly to compensate for 'little pecker.'
Coughlan doesn't think Indians dying is sad. Manifest Destiny, baby.
Armed robbery not a foreseeable result of gun sale. He was probably just buying the gun to scratch his head or trade for skis.
Group drives around looking for man to rob, can't find him. Not much of an attempt, if you ask me.
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can't be sufficient provocation for murder!
Drug addiction insufficient to prove insanity. Haven't these judges ever tried LSD?
Child neglect is inherently dangerous. That was seriously a question?
All I can remember about this case is that I don't want to mess with Jason Orr.
Lethal self-defense permissible only against deadly threat. Makes sense.
Friends don't let friends drive drunk. Or come to a party and kill people.

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Created Apr 24, 2012ReportNominate
Tags:case, criminal, law, Law Cases