| Facts | Case |
|---|
| Pass. | |
| Child neglect is inherently dangerous. That was seriously a question? | |
| Drug dealers protecting a drug deal are part of a conspiracy to sell drugs. *does Enfield move.* Yep, makes sense. | |
| You can't claim self-defense if you start the conflict. Sorry, George Zimmerman. | |
| Civil negligence becomes criminal when you spill millions of gallons of oil over poor Alaskan animals. | |
| 'You can call me _____, shooting bad kids on a train!' | |
| Coughlan doesn't think Indians dying is sad. Manifest Destiny, baby. | |
| Brit tries to assassinate Prime Minister, but kills Secretary instead. As punishment, his name is forever associated with insanity. | |
| A nice neighbor takes in a mother who kills her baby. It's harder than usual to make these case clues funny. | |
| No minimum period for premeditation when defendant kills spouse. I thought that premeditation period was just called 'marriage.' | |
| Note to prosecutors: the jury can nullify. So make sure you get jurors who don't know what that is! | |
| The skier was skiing... recklessly. | |
| No felony murder for doctor who promises more than he delivers. McGee breathes a sigh of relief. | |
| Claiming necessity in advance is sort of like planning when you'll be 'sick' from school. | |
| Armed robbery not a foreseeable result of gun sale. He was probably just buying the gun to scratch his head or trade for skis. | |
| Young boy dies in Russian Roulette. Too sad to make a joke about. | |
| Making the death penalty non-discriminatory would be 'too much justice.' | |
| There are prostitutes using phone services these days? I definitely need a smartphone now! | |
| Pharmaceutical company president held strictly liable for something or other. Maybe it was his strange name? (No xenophobe.) | |
| Canada's approach to strict liability is much better than ours. Right, Layne? | |
| You shouldn't kick a man while he's down, or shoot a guy while he's dead. | |
| If the police had taken him to the Kong, his conduct would have been totally normal! | |
| 'Dear Prison, I'm being sexually assaulted, so I'm going to escape now. Kthanxbye!' | |
| Every man for himself in the Wild West. So keep on moving, no conspiracies to see here. | |
| Rape shield law upheld. Good call. | |
| Lethal self-defense permissible only against deadly threat. Makes sense. | |
| Mens rea requirement or not, it's probably not a great idea to smoke around a ship-load of rum... | |
| | Facts | Case |
|---|
| HIV positive man has lots of unprotected sex, possibly to compensate for 'little pecker.' | |
| Fortunately for me, releasing noxious gas is not a crime. | |
| This turkey-shooting chase should have been named after Dick Cheney. | |
| Crazy bank robber hatches crazy bank-robbery plan. Hilarity ensues. | |
| I don't care if the CEO was strictly liable. I'm still never buying from Acme grocery stores. | |
| Battered wife can't claim self-defense for killing abusive husband, even after direct threats. | |
| Unconsciousness is a complete defense to homicide, even when you're a Black Panther. | |
| Extremely reckless driving qualifies as manslaughter. Got that, Delgado? | |
| The defendant fails to care for a baby, who dies. A lack of a general legal duty doesn't free him from being a terrible person. | |
| No loitering, standing around, or generally acting like a minority. Even the Supreme Court realized there was something wrong here. | |
| Group drives around looking for man to rob, can't find him. Not much of an attempt, if you ask me. | |
| I Sporcle. Wasted Time Is My Punishment. | |
| Moral of the story: if you ever want to steal government property, just say you thought it was 'abandoned.' | |
| The 'merger' doctrine for felony murder is confusing enough to begin with. This case just makes it worse. | |
| The 'natural and probable consequence' of taking this Sporcle is a P in Crim. Go and do some real studying already! | |
| Life sentence for a bad check. Now that's what I call reforming Wall Street! | |
| Duty to retreat applies, even if you're attacked by a crazy neighbor with a large fork. Ah, New Jersey. | |
| Mistake in fact is no defense to orgy. | |
| We can't prosecute prison guards who abuse prisoners, because then the public would know that prison guards abuse prisoners. That makes sense how? | |
| Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can't be sufficient provocation for murder! | |
| If only those stranded sailors knew how to fish... | |
| The 'ostrich' instruction fails when man drives marijuana across the border. Too bad. | |
| Juveniles can't get life without parole for non-violent offenses. Bryan Stevenson, you rock. | |
| Believe it or not, spreading fake blood at the local IRS office was not necessary to stop a conflict in El Salvador. Sorry, Thoreau. | |
| Bank robber convicted of attempt while walking peacefully out of bank. Butch Cassidy is probably screwed for life. | |
| Rape on college campus. Mistake in fact may be a defense, but not when force is involved. | |
| Defendants' fault for robbing a shopkeeper with a weak heart, obviously. | |
| | Facts | Case |
|---|
| Friends don't let friends drive drunk. Or come to a party and kill people. | |
| Selective prosecution doesn't happen. No need for discovery -- just trust us. | |
| This guy was strictly liable for selling opium derivatives. It was fun while it lasted! | |
| Consent is sexy. | |
| Movie theatres 'agree' to show 'What Happens in Vegas' in all theaters. Must be a criminal conspiracy. | |
| Didn't this guy ever read Bird v. Holbrook? | |
| Jilted lover suffers extreme emotional distress and murders ex. What, the store was out of flowers? | |
| Death penalty for juveniles is unconstitutional. Also something about Amish people in electic cars. | |
| Chiropractor submits fake bills due to threats from local crime boss. Wasn't this on the Sopranos? | |
| Capital punishment isn't arbitrary and capricious... as long as states pretend it isn't. | |
| When it comes to progressive rape law, Europe is the new Canada. | |
| Criminally negligent ship engineer is complicit in ship explosion. He was too busy painting naked women in 'only this.' | |
| All I can remember about this case is that I don't want to mess with Jason Orr. | |
| Defendant was so enraged by an insult about his nose that he killed immediately, without time to premeditate. | |
| I hope they serve moonshine in hell. | |
| Demonstrates the traditional force/resistance requirement for rape. Don't worry, ladies -- no jokes here. | |
| Husband shoots at another man who returns from the woods with his wife. Maybe he was just showing her some birds and bees? | |
| Drug addiction insufficient to prove insanity. Haven't these judges ever tried LSD? | |
| Serbian soldier kills to save his own life. Genocide is sad all around. | |
| Mother denied child support has no standing to have father pay. Now that's wack! | |
| Battered wife can't claim self-defense for killing abusive husband. | |
| I'd be happy to refer you to several marijuana dealers, just as long as you don't give me anything for my services. | |
| Stopping a telegraph aids murderers, so there's complicity. What's a telegraph again? | |
| Don't think listening to music should be criminal? Have you ever heard 'Call Me Maybe?' | |
| In most states, there's a higher standard for criminal negligence than for civil negligence. Even in the Southwest. | |
| Three strikes, sentencing proportionality is out! | |
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Typing Challenge
Drawing a Blank
