Just For Fun / Criminal Law Cases

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Can you name the Criminal Law Cases?

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FactsCase
Moral of the story: if you ever want to steal government property, just say you thought it was 'abandoned.'
Mens rea requirement or not, it's probably not a great idea to smoke around a ship-load of rum...
Young boy dies in Russian Roulette. Too sad to make a joke about.
Extremely reckless driving qualifies as manslaughter. Got that, Delgado?
The defendant fails to care for a baby, who dies. A lack of a general legal duty doesn't free him from being a terrible person.
Pass.
Child neglect is inherently dangerous. That was seriously a question?
I'd be happy to refer you to several marijuana dealers, just as long as you don't give me anything for my services.
Consent is sexy.
The skier was skiing... recklessly.
You shouldn't kick a man while he's down, or shoot a guy while he's dead.
Every man for himself in the Wild West. So keep on moving, no conspiracies to see here.
Rape shield law upheld. Good call.
The 'natural and probable consequence' of taking this Sporcle is a P in Crim. Go and do some real studying already!
There are prostitutes using phone services these days? I definitely need a smartphone now!
Mother denied child support has no standing to have father pay. Now that's wack!
Don't think listening to music should be criminal? Have you ever heard 'Call Me Maybe?'
Battered wife can't claim self-defense for killing abusive husband, even after direct threats.
Making the death penalty non-discriminatory would be 'too much justice.'
Chiropractor submits fake bills due to threats from local crime boss. Wasn't this on the Sopranos?
Rape on college campus. Mistake in fact may be a defense, but not when force is involved.
Three strikes, sentencing proportionality is out!
Brit tries to assassinate Prime Minister, but kills Secretary instead. As punishment, his name is forever associated with insanity.
I Sporcle. Wasted Time Is My Punishment.
Believe it or not, spreading fake blood at the local IRS office was not necessary to stop a conflict in El Salvador. Sorry, Thoreau.
This turkey-shooting chase should have been named after Dick Cheney.
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can't be sufficient provocation for murder!
FactsCase
'You can call me _____, shooting bad kids on a train!'
This guy was strictly liable for selling opium derivatives. It was fun while it lasted!
Bank robber convicted of attempt while walking peacefully out of bank. Butch Cassidy is probably screwed for life.
Fortunately for me, releasing noxious gas is not a crime.
Didn't this guy ever read Bird v. Holbrook?
Husband shoots at another man who returns from the woods with his wife. Maybe he was just showing her some birds and bees?
Demonstrates the traditional force/resistance requirement for rape. Don't worry, ladies -- no jokes here.
Lethal self-defense permissible only against deadly threat. Makes sense.
Stopping a telegraph aids murderers, so there's complicity. What's a telegraph again?
Crazy bank robber hatches crazy bank-robbery plan. Hilarity ensues.
I hope they serve moonshine in hell.
Capital punishment isn't arbitrary and capricious... as long as states pretend it isn't.
Pharmaceutical company president held strictly liable for something or other. Maybe it was his strange name? (No xenophobe.)
The 'merger' doctrine for felony murder is confusing enough to begin with. This case just makes it worse.
Selective prosecution doesn't happen. No need for discovery -- just trust us.
Canada's approach to strict liability is much better than ours. Right, Layne?
No minimum period for premeditation when defendant kills spouse. I thought that premeditation period was just called 'marriage.'
Life sentence for a bad check. Now that's what I call reforming Wall Street!
'Dear Prison, I'm being sexually assaulted, so I'm going to escape now. Kthanxbye!'
We can't prosecute prison guards who abuse prisoners, because then the public would know that prison guards abuse prisoners. That makes sense how?
HIV positive man has lots of unprotected sex, possibly to compensate for 'little pecker.'
Defendant was so enraged by an insult about his nose that he killed immediately, without time to premeditate.
When it comes to progressive rape law, Europe is the new Canada.
Claiming necessity in advance is sort of like planning when you'll be 'sick' from school.
Criminally negligent ship engineer is complicit in ship explosion. He was too busy painting naked women in 'only this.'
Armed robbery not a foreseeable result of gun sale. He was probably just buying the gun to scratch his head or trade for skis.
A nice neighbor takes in a mother who kills her baby. It's harder than usual to make these case clues funny.
FactsCase
Drug dealers protecting a drug deal are part of a conspiracy to sell drugs. *does Enfield move.* Yep, makes sense.
Group drives around looking for man to rob, can't find him. Not much of an attempt, if you ask me.
Unconsciousness is a complete defense to homicide, even when you're a Black Panther.
Movie theatres 'agree' to show 'What Happens in Vegas' in all theaters. Must be a criminal conspiracy.
Drug addiction insufficient to prove insanity. Haven't these judges ever tried LSD?
Juveniles can't get life without parole for non-violent offenses. Bryan Stevenson, you rock.
Death penalty for juveniles is unconstitutional. Also something about Amish people in electic cars.
All I can remember about this case is that I don't want to mess with Jason Orr.
Battered wife can't claim self-defense for killing abusive husband.
Civil negligence becomes criminal when you spill millions of gallons of oil over poor Alaskan animals.
No loitering, standing around, or generally acting like a minority. Even the Supreme Court realized there was something wrong here.
The 'ostrich' instruction fails when man drives marijuana across the border. Too bad.
Note to prosecutors: the jury can nullify. So make sure you get jurors who don't know what that is!
If the police had taken him to the Kong, his conduct would have been totally normal!
Mistake in fact is no defense to orgy.
I don't care if the CEO was strictly liable. I'm still never buying from Acme grocery stores.
Friends don't let friends drive drunk. Or come to a party and kill people.
Coughlan doesn't think Indians dying is sad. Manifest Destiny, baby.
If only those stranded sailors knew how to fish...
Defendants' fault for robbing a shopkeeper with a weak heart, obviously.
No felony murder for doctor who promises more than he delivers. McGee breathes a sigh of relief.
Duty to retreat applies, even if you're attacked by a crazy neighbor with a large fork. Ah, New Jersey.
Serbian soldier kills to save his own life. Genocide is sad all around.
Jilted lover suffers extreme emotional distress and murders ex. What, the store was out of flowers?
In most states, there's a higher standard for criminal negligence than for civil negligence. Even in the Southwest.
You can't claim self-defense if you start the conflict. Sorry, George Zimmerman.

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