Criminal Law Cases

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Can you name the Criminal Law Cases?

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FactsCase
I hope they serve moonshine in hell.
Bank robber convicted of attempt while walking peacefully out of bank. Butch Cassidy is probably screwed for life.
The 'ostrich' instruction fails when man drives marijuana across the border. Too bad.
Defendants' fault for robbing a shopkeeper with a weak heart, obviously.
I Sporcle. Wasted Time Is My Punishment.
Don't think listening to music should be criminal? Have you ever heard 'Call Me Maybe?'
The defendant fails to care for a baby, who dies. A lack of a general legal duty doesn't free him from being a terrible person.
Unconsciousness is a complete defense to homicide, even when you're a Black Panther.
Consent is sexy.
Mens rea requirement or not, it's probably not a great idea to smoke around a ship-load of rum...
Brit tries to assassinate Prime Minister, but kills Secretary instead. As punishment, his name is forever associated with insanity.
'Dear Prison, I'm being sexually assaulted, so I'm going to escape now. Kthanxbye!'
Civil negligence becomes criminal when you spill millions of gallons of oil over poor Alaskan animals.
Extremely reckless driving qualifies as manslaughter. Got that, Delgado?
Young boy dies in Russian Roulette. Too sad to make a joke about.
Drug dealers protecting a drug deal are part of a conspiracy to sell drugs. *does Enfield move.* Yep, makes sense.
Chiropractor submits fake bills due to threats from local crime boss. Wasn't this on the Sopranos?
This guy was strictly liable for selling opium derivatives. It was fun while it lasted!
Claiming necessity in advance is sort of like planning when you'll be 'sick' from school.
No felony murder for doctor who promises more than he delivers. McGee breathes a sigh of relief.
Crazy bank robber hatches crazy bank-robbery plan. Hilarity ensues.
Jilted lover suffers extreme emotional distress and murders ex. What, the store was out of flowers?
HIV positive man has lots of unprotected sex, possibly to compensate for 'little pecker.'
Serbian soldier kills to save his own life. Genocide is sad all around.
Lethal self-defense permissible only against deadly threat. Makes sense.
In most states, there's a higher standard for criminal negligence than for civil negligence. Even in the Southwest.
If only those stranded sailors knew how to fish...
FactsCase
If the police had taken him to the Kong, his conduct would have been totally normal!
The skier was skiing... recklessly.
Pharmaceutical company president held strictly liable for something or other. Maybe it was his strange name? (No xenophobe.)
Movie theatres 'agree' to show 'What Happens in Vegas' in all theaters. Must be a criminal conspiracy.
You can't claim self-defense if you start the conflict. Sorry, George Zimmerman.
'You can call me _____, shooting bad kids on a train!'
No minimum period for premeditation when defendant kills spouse. I thought that premeditation period was just called 'marriage.'
Armed robbery not a foreseeable result of gun sale. He was probably just buying the gun to scratch his head or trade for skis.
A nice neighbor takes in a mother who kills her baby. It's harder than usual to make these case clues funny.
Every man for himself in the Wild West. So keep on moving, no conspiracies to see here.
I don't care if the CEO was strictly liable. I'm still never buying from Acme grocery stores.
Pass.
Fortunately for me, releasing noxious gas is not a crime.
Making the death penalty non-discriminatory would be 'too much justice.'
Friends don't let friends drive drunk. Or come to a party and kill people.
Demonstrates the traditional force/resistance requirement for rape. Don't worry, ladies -- no jokes here.
Canada's approach to strict liability is much better than ours. Right, Layne?
All I can remember about this case is that I don't want to mess with Jason Orr.
Capital punishment isn't arbitrary and capricious... as long as states pretend it isn't.
Husband shoots at another man who returns from the woods with his wife. Maybe he was just showing her some birds and bees?
When it comes to progressive rape law, Europe is the new Canada.
Battered wife can't claim self-defense for killing abusive husband, even after direct threats.
We can't prosecute prison guards who abuse prisoners, because then the public would know that prison guards abuse prisoners. That makes sense how?
Group drives around looking for man to rob, can't find him. Not much of an attempt, if you ask me.
Defendant was so enraged by an insult about his nose that he killed immediately, without time to premeditate.
Juveniles can't get life without parole for non-violent offenses. Bryan Stevenson, you rock.
Stopping a telegraph aids murderers, so there's complicity. What's a telegraph again?
FactsCase
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can't be sufficient provocation for murder!
Selective prosecution doesn't happen. No need for discovery -- just trust us.
No loitering, standing around, or generally acting like a minority. Even the Supreme Court realized there was something wrong here.
Criminally negligent ship engineer is complicit in ship explosion. He was too busy painting naked women in 'only this.'
Note to prosecutors: the jury can nullify. So make sure you get jurors who don't know what that is!
Child neglect is inherently dangerous. That was seriously a question?
Life sentence for a bad check. Now that's what I call reforming Wall Street!
I'd be happy to refer you to several marijuana dealers, just as long as you don't give me anything for my services.
There are prostitutes using phone services these days? I definitely need a smartphone now!
Drug addiction insufficient to prove insanity. Haven't these judges ever tried LSD?
Death penalty for juveniles is unconstitutional. Also something about Amish people in electic cars.
This turkey-shooting chase should have been named after Dick Cheney.
Three strikes, sentencing proportionality is out!
You shouldn't kick a man while he's down, or shoot a guy while he's dead.
Battered wife can't claim self-defense for killing abusive husband.
Mistake in fact is no defense to orgy.
Coughlan doesn't think Indians dying is sad. Manifest Destiny, baby.
The 'merger' doctrine for felony murder is confusing enough to begin with. This case just makes it worse.
Didn't this guy ever read Bird v. Holbrook?
Moral of the story: if you ever want to steal government property, just say you thought it was 'abandoned.'
Mother denied child support has no standing to have father pay. Now that's wack!
Rape on college campus. Mistake in fact may be a defense, but not when force is involved.
The 'natural and probable consequence' of taking this Sporcle is a P in Crim. Go and do some real studying already!
Rape shield law upheld. Good call.
Believe it or not, spreading fake blood at the local IRS office was not necessary to stop a conflict in El Salvador. Sorry, Thoreau.
Duty to retreat applies, even if you're attacked by a crazy neighbor with a large fork. Ah, New Jersey.

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