Criminal Law Cases

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Can you name the Criminal Law Cases?

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FactsCase
If only those stranded sailors knew how to fish...
Canada's approach to strict liability is much better than ours. Right, Layne?
I'd be happy to refer you to several marijuana dealers, just as long as you don't give me anything for my services.
Making the death penalty non-discriminatory would be 'too much justice.'
The skier was skiing... recklessly.
Drug dealers protecting a drug deal are part of a conspiracy to sell drugs. *does Enfield move.* Yep, makes sense.
Armed robbery not a foreseeable result of gun sale. He was probably just buying the gun to scratch his head or trade for skis.
There are prostitutes using phone services these days? I definitely need a smartphone now!
A nice neighbor takes in a mother who kills her baby. It's harder than usual to make these case clues funny.
No felony murder for doctor who promises more than he delivers. McGee breathes a sigh of relief.
Battered wife can't claim self-defense for killing abusive husband.
Demonstrates the traditional force/resistance requirement for rape. Don't worry, ladies -- no jokes here.
I don't care if the CEO was strictly liable. I'm still never buying from Acme grocery stores.
Drug addiction insufficient to prove insanity. Haven't these judges ever tried LSD?
Death penalty for juveniles is unconstitutional. Also something about Amish people in electic cars.
The defendant fails to care for a baby, who dies. A lack of a general legal duty doesn't free him from being a terrible person.
All I can remember about this case is that I don't want to mess with Jason Orr.
Defendant was so enraged by an insult about his nose that he killed immediately, without time to premeditate.
I Sporcle. Wasted Time Is My Punishment.
HIV positive man has lots of unprotected sex, possibly to compensate for 'little pecker.'
Movie theatres 'agree' to show 'What Happens in Vegas' in all theaters. Must be a criminal conspiracy.
This guy was strictly liable for selling opium derivatives. It was fun while it lasted!
Mens rea requirement or not, it's probably not a great idea to smoke around a ship-load of rum...
Crazy bank robber hatches crazy bank-robbery plan. Hilarity ensues.
Mother denied child support has no standing to have father pay. Now that's wack!
Bank robber convicted of attempt while walking peacefully out of bank. Butch Cassidy is probably screwed for life.
Note to prosecutors: the jury can nullify. So make sure you get jurors who don't know what that is!
FactsCase
No minimum period for premeditation when defendant kills spouse. I thought that premeditation period was just called 'marriage.'
Serbian soldier kills to save his own life. Genocide is sad all around.
Don't think listening to music should be criminal? Have you ever heard 'Call Me Maybe?'
Child neglect is inherently dangerous. That was seriously a question?
Three strikes, sentencing proportionality is out!
Capital punishment isn't arbitrary and capricious... as long as states pretend it isn't.
Selective prosecution doesn't happen. No need for discovery -- just trust us.
Friends don't let friends drive drunk. Or come to a party and kill people.
We can't prosecute prison guards who abuse prisoners, because then the public would know that prison guards abuse prisoners. That makes sense how?
Group drives around looking for man to rob, can't find him. Not much of an attempt, if you ask me.
Life sentence for a bad check. Now that's what I call reforming Wall Street!
Believe it or not, spreading fake blood at the local IRS office was not necessary to stop a conflict in El Salvador. Sorry, Thoreau.
I hope they serve moonshine in hell.
Coughlan doesn't think Indians dying is sad. Manifest Destiny, baby.
Consent is sexy.
Claiming necessity in advance is sort of like planning when you'll be 'sick' from school.
Stopping a telegraph aids murderers, so there's complicity. What's a telegraph again?
Criminally negligent ship engineer is complicit in ship explosion. He was too busy painting naked women in 'only this.'
'Dear Prison, I'm being sexually assaulted, so I'm going to escape now. Kthanxbye!'
Mistake in fact is no defense to orgy.
Didn't this guy ever read Bird v. Holbrook?
Chiropractor submits fake bills due to threats from local crime boss. Wasn't this on the Sopranos?
If the police had taken him to the Kong, his conduct would have been totally normal!
Unconsciousness is a complete defense to homicide, even when you're a Black Panther.
The 'merger' doctrine for felony murder is confusing enough to begin with. This case just makes it worse.
The 'ostrich' instruction fails when man drives marijuana across the border. Too bad.
Battered wife can't claim self-defense for killing abusive husband, even after direct threats.
FactsCase
Defendants' fault for robbing a shopkeeper with a weak heart, obviously.
'You can call me _____, shooting bad kids on a train!'
Duty to retreat applies, even if you're attacked by a crazy neighbor with a large fork. Ah, New Jersey.
Pass.
Lethal self-defense permissible only against deadly threat. Makes sense.
Pharmaceutical company president held strictly liable for something or other. Maybe it was his strange name? (No xenophobe.)
Jilted lover suffers extreme emotional distress and murders ex. What, the store was out of flowers?
Young boy dies in Russian Roulette. Too sad to make a joke about.
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can't be sufficient provocation for murder!
Civil negligence becomes criminal when you spill millions of gallons of oil over poor Alaskan animals.
Every man for himself in the Wild West. So keep on moving, no conspiracies to see here.
Extremely reckless driving qualifies as manslaughter. Got that, Delgado?
The 'natural and probable consequence' of taking this Sporcle is a P in Crim. Go and do some real studying already!
Fortunately for me, releasing noxious gas is not a crime.
You can't claim self-defense if you start the conflict. Sorry, George Zimmerman.
In most states, there's a higher standard for criminal negligence than for civil negligence. Even in the Southwest.
Rape shield law upheld. Good call.
Brit tries to assassinate Prime Minister, but kills Secretary instead. As punishment, his name is forever associated with insanity.
This turkey-shooting chase should have been named after Dick Cheney.
Husband shoots at another man who returns from the woods with his wife. Maybe he was just showing her some birds and bees?
Moral of the story: if you ever want to steal government property, just say you thought it was 'abandoned.'
Rape on college campus. Mistake in fact may be a defense, but not when force is involved.
Juveniles can't get life without parole for non-violent offenses. Bryan Stevenson, you rock.
You shouldn't kick a man while he's down, or shoot a guy while he's dead.
No loitering, standing around, or generally acting like a minority. Even the Supreme Court realized there was something wrong here.
When it comes to progressive rape law, Europe is the new Canada.

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