| Description | Character | Occupation (Actor/Actress) |
| The main protagonist. Father of three children. Somewhat obnoxious. A sportswriter for Newsday. | |
| The deuteragonist. Wife of the main character. Mother of three children. Often seen resnetful and stressed out, due to her three rambunctious children and intrusive family members. | |
| The main antagonist. Mother of main character. Intrusive, controlling, manipulative, and over-nurturing. Excels in cooking, cleaning, and other technical duties. | |
| The secondary antagonist. Father of main character. Stubborn, masculine, and deadpan personality. | |
| The tritagonist. Brother of the main character. Uncle to three children. Jealous and passive-aggressive. Has a cruel sense of humor. | |
| Wife to the main character's brother. Best friend of the main character's wife. Soft-spoken. | |
| Father of the main character's brother's wife. Devout conservative Protestant. Often clashes with the Barones. | |
| Mother of the main character's brother's wife. Devout conservative Protestant. Often clashes with the Barones. | |
| Brother of the main character's brother's wife. Strange, psychologically unstable personality. Has a pet house cat name Miss Puss. | |
| Daughter of the main character. | |
| Son of the main character. (First name begins with 'G') | |
| Son of the main character (First name begins with 'M') | |