Which South Park Kid Did This?

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Can you name the name which of the four main South Park characters did this?

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ThingCharacter
Was turned into one of the Crab People.
Gets a negroplasty in order to become a basketball.
Gets thrown out of South Park for not voting in a school mascot election.
Became the leader of Scientology.
Becomes the king of the Sea People.
Owned a theme park.
Hits Butters in the face with a throwing star.
Got turned into a zombie, and proceded to start a pandemic.
Lead Heaven to a victory against the armies of Hell.
Becomes addicted to getting high off of cat urine.
Contracted AIDS and proceded to give it to one of his friends.
Convinces the town to have faith in economy.
Got kidnapped by aliens multiple times.
ThingCharacter
Got a **** from his girlfriend behind a TGI Friday's.
Was diagnosed with sex addiction.
Goes on Maury as an out of control teenage girl.
Killed Jesus.
Takes command of the Whale Wars team and attacks Japanese ships.
Joins an ancient society dedicated to guarding the secrets of Easter.
Managed a peewee hockey team to the championships.
Has tea parties in his backyard dressed as Brittney Spears.
Becomes the leader of pirates in Somalia.
Becomes the vigilante Mysterion, who constantly helps out South Park.
Persuades the people of South Park to buy hybrid cars.
Was put in an asylum for seeing talking feces.

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