50 South Park Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these South Park quotes?

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QuoteCharacter
'I don't want to do it if it hurts or if it makes you get all sticky.'
'Hello Muhammad, we've read all aboot you in the Qur'an.'
'I promise I'll never go on TV with balls on my chin again.'
'Your mother's been worried sick! And I've been watching TV.'
'You go to hell. You go to hell and you die.'
'I'm gonna make love to your a**hole, children.'
'It's when you take your finger, and you stick it in a vagina and you stick it again and again.'
'Yeah. You know, we believe in equality for everybody, and tolerance, and all that gay stuff, but dude, f**k you.'
'Hello, is this customer service? I'm having a problem with my new television: it's sprouted laser guns and started walking around shooting people.'
'Everything is back to normal. I-I think... I think I can go back to trying to destroy the world again.'
'Well, your moms are just upset. They’re probably all on their periods or something.'
'Dad, Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!'
'Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness! Yummy!'
'Mom-m-m, Ben Affleck is naked in my bed!'
'Have you seen the poop swatches?'
'This is hopeless. We're just going to have to face that the commercialism has been sucked out of Christmas.'
'Butters, remind me to cut your balls off later.'
'I'm not drinking and driving, I'm driving while I'm drinking.'
'Why does nobody believe that I'm serial?'
'I'm beginning to think that maybe it's wrong to put someone who thinks they're a Vietnamese prostitute on a bull.'
'I'm so high man, I don't think I can take it.'
'What the hell is this?! Skinless chicken, boiled vegetables and salad?! This is just like Auschwitz!'
'James Taylor, what the hell are you doing singing about prostitutes to these children? Get outta here!'
'How would YOU feel, if someone came into your home, m'kay, pulled down their pants and laid a big mud monkey right on your mom's face!'
'My mom says there's a lot of black people in Africa.'
QuoteCharacter
'Then I was right. Jobe has all his children killed, and Michael Bay gets to keep making movies. There isn't a God.'
'Cartman, that's the dumbest thing you've ever said... this week.'
'All animals kill, and the animals that don't kill are stupid ones like cows and turtles and stuff.'
'I was once involved in a drive-by shooting! Whatevah, I do what I want!'
'There’s a time and a place for everything, and it’s called college.”
'I'm killing you. Unfortunately I could only afford a wiffle bat so this may take a while.'
'Ohh. I thought a group of Vietnamese people were getting their intestines pulled out through their mouths.'
'Yeah. Why we sure gave those skanky bitches what for.'
'Having boobs sucks.'
'Dude, this is pretty f**ked up right here.'
'Yeah, a hippie and a terrorist is the same thing.'
'But, what if when I'm trying to put on the nose, the snowman comes alive and tries to kill me?'
'Yeah, I could use some goddamn poontang, myself, right now.'
'Chef, what would a priest want to stick up my butt?'
'Stan, don't you know the first law of physics? Anything that's fun costs at least eight dollars.'
'I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!'
'I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.'
'You know what they say: You can't teach a gay dog straight tricks.'
'Dude, it's not like terrorism! It is terrorism!'
'Stan told me to tell you he thinks you're a cont...cont...cont...you're a cont, cont, cont...'
'You put a guy's wiener in your mouth, that makes you gay, stupid!'
'Yes! I am God of the sea people!'
'Shawna, I was wondering if I could put my penis in your vagina.'
'Don't get cancer on the ladder, Cartman! You're gonna fall off and break it.'
'Well, excuse my French, Mrs. Marsh, but you can suck my fat hairy balls!'

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Created Oct 3, 2012ReportNominate
Tags:quote, South Park, eric, kenny, kyle, randy, stan