50 South Park Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these South Park quotes?

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QuoteCharacter
'Having boobs sucks.'
'Stan, don't you know the first law of physics? Anything that's fun costs at least eight dollars.'
'Butters, remind me to cut your balls off later.'
'Hello, is this customer service? I'm having a problem with my new television: it's sprouted laser guns and started walking around shooting people.'
'What the hell is this?! Skinless chicken, boiled vegetables and salad?! This is just like Auschwitz!'
'I promise I'll never go on TV with balls on my chin again.'
'Dude, this is pretty f**ked up right here.'
'Yes! I am God of the sea people!'
'Dude, it's not like terrorism! It is terrorism!'
'You know what they say: You can't teach a gay dog straight tricks.'
'I'm not drinking and driving, I'm driving while I'm drinking.'
'James Taylor, what the hell are you doing singing about prostitutes to these children? Get outta here!'
'Cartman, that's the dumbest thing you've ever said... this week.'
'Why does nobody believe that I'm serial?'
'Yeah. Why we sure gave those skanky bitches what for.'
'Don't get cancer on the ladder, Cartman! You're gonna fall off and break it.'
'You go to hell. You go to hell and you die.'
'Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness! Yummy!'
'Your mother's been worried sick! And I've been watching TV.'
'Ohh. I thought a group of Vietnamese people were getting their intestines pulled out through their mouths.'
'Dad, Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!'
'I'm so high man, I don't think I can take it.'
'You put a guy's wiener in your mouth, that makes you gay, stupid!'
'Then I was right. Jobe has all his children killed, and Michael Bay gets to keep making movies. There isn't a God.'
'Well, your moms are just upset. They’re probably all on their periods or something.'
QuoteCharacter
'Yeah, I could use some goddamn poontang, myself, right now.'
'All animals kill, and the animals that don't kill are stupid ones like cows and turtles and stuff.'
'I don't want to do it if it hurts or if it makes you get all sticky.'
'Yeah. You know, we believe in equality for everybody, and tolerance, and all that gay stuff, but dude, f**k you.'
'Everything is back to normal. I-I think... I think I can go back to trying to destroy the world again.'
'I was once involved in a drive-by shooting! Whatevah, I do what I want!'
'It's when you take your finger, and you stick it in a vagina and you stick it again and again.'
'I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!'
'Yeah, a hippie and a terrorist is the same thing.'
'Have you seen the poop swatches?'
'Chef, what would a priest want to stick up my butt?'
'How would YOU feel, if someone came into your home, m'kay, pulled down their pants and laid a big mud monkey right on your mom's face!'
'I'm killing you. Unfortunately I could only afford a wiffle bat so this may take a while.'
'This is hopeless. We're just going to have to face that the commercialism has been sucked out of Christmas.'
'Well, excuse my French, Mrs. Marsh, but you can suck my fat hairy balls!'
'I'm beginning to think that maybe it's wrong to put someone who thinks they're a Vietnamese prostitute on a bull.'
'Hello Muhammad, we've read all aboot you in the Qur'an.'
'I'm gonna make love to your a**hole, children.'
'But, what if when I'm trying to put on the nose, the snowman comes alive and tries to kill me?'
'Mom-m-m, Ben Affleck is naked in my bed!'
'My mom says there's a lot of black people in Africa.'
'I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.'
'Stan told me to tell you he thinks you're a cont...cont...cont...you're a cont, cont, cont...'
'Shawna, I was wondering if I could put my penis in your vagina.'
'There’s a time and a place for everything, and it’s called college.”

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