50 South Park Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these South Park quotes?

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'Have you seen the poop swatches?'
'But, what if when I'm trying to put on the nose, the snowman comes alive and tries to kill me?'
'I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.'
'Dad, Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!'
'How would YOU feel, if someone came into your home, m'kay, pulled down their pants and laid a big mud monkey right on your mom's face!'
'You put a guy's wiener in your mouth, that makes you gay, stupid!'
'Dude, this is pretty f**ked up right here.'
'James Taylor, what the hell are you doing singing about prostitutes to these children? Get outta here!'
'It's when you take your finger, and you stick it in a vagina and you stick it again and again.'
'My mom says there's a lot of black people in Africa.'
'What the hell is this?! Skinless chicken, boiled vegetables and salad?! This is just like Auschwitz!'
'Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness! Yummy!'
'Mom-m-m, Ben Affleck is naked in my bed!'
'Everything is back to normal. I-I think... I think I can go back to trying to destroy the world again.'
'Don't get cancer on the ladder, Cartman! You're gonna fall off and break it.'
'I was once involved in a drive-by shooting! Whatevah, I do what I want!'
'Stan told me to tell you he thinks you're a cont...cont...cont...you're a cont, cont, cont...'
'Dude, it's not like terrorism! It is terrorism!'
'Chef, what would a priest want to stick up my butt?'
'Yeah, a hippie and a terrorist is the same thing.'
'Yes! I am God of the sea people!'
'I promise I'll never go on TV with balls on my chin again.'
'Yeah, I could use some goddamn poontang, myself, right now.'
'Why does nobody believe that I'm serial?'
'There’s a time and a place for everything, and it’s called college.”
'Having boobs sucks.'
'Stan, don't you know the first law of physics? Anything that's fun costs at least eight dollars.'
'I'm killing you. Unfortunately I could only afford a wiffle bat so this may take a while.'
'This is hopeless. We're just going to have to face that the commercialism has been sucked out of Christmas.'
'You go to hell. You go to hell and you die.'
'I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!'
'Well, your moms are just upset. They’re probably all on their periods or something.'
'Hello, is this customer service? I'm having a problem with my new television: it's sprouted laser guns and started walking around shooting people.'
'I'm so high man, I don't think I can take it.'
'Shawna, I was wondering if I could put my penis in your vagina.'
'Butters, remind me to cut your balls off later.'
'Cartman, that's the dumbest thing you've ever said... this week.'
'I don't want to do it if it hurts or if it makes you get all sticky.'
'I'm not drinking and driving, I'm driving while I'm drinking.'
'Hello Muhammad, we've read all aboot you in the Qur'an.'
'I'm beginning to think that maybe it's wrong to put someone who thinks they're a Vietnamese prostitute on a bull.'
'You know what they say: You can't teach a gay dog straight tricks.'
'Ohh. I thought a group of Vietnamese people were getting their intestines pulled out through their mouths.'
'I'm gonna make love to your a**hole, children.'
'Yeah. You know, we believe in equality for everybody, and tolerance, and all that gay stuff, but dude, f**k you.'
'Your mother's been worried sick! And I've been watching TV.'
'Well, excuse my French, Mrs. Marsh, but you can suck my fat hairy balls!'
'All animals kill, and the animals that don't kill are stupid ones like cows and turtles and stuff.'
'Then I was right. Jobe has all his children killed, and Michael Bay gets to keep making movies. There isn't a God.'
'Yeah. Why we sure gave those skanky bitches what for.'

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Created Oct 3, 2012ReportNominate
Tags:quote, South Park, eric, kenny, kyle, randy, stan