50 South Park Quotes

Random Television or South Park Quiz

Can you name the character who said these South Park quotes?

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'Mom-m-m, Ben Affleck is naked in my bed!'
'Everything is back to normal. I-I think... I think I can go back to trying to destroy the world again.'
'Well, excuse my French, Mrs. Marsh, but you can suck my fat hairy balls!'
'Dude, this is pretty f**ked up right here.'
'All animals kill, and the animals that don't kill are stupid ones like cows and turtles and stuff.'
'You put a guy's wiener in your mouth, that makes you gay, stupid!'
'Yes! I am God of the sea people!'
'I'm not drinking and driving, I'm driving while I'm drinking.'
'James Taylor, what the hell are you doing singing about prostitutes to these children? Get outta here!'
'Well, your moms are just upset. They’re probably all on their periods or something.'
'How would YOU feel, if someone came into your home, m'kay, pulled down their pants and laid a big mud monkey right on your mom's face!'
'But, what if when I'm trying to put on the nose, the snowman comes alive and tries to kill me?'
'Your mother's been worried sick! And I've been watching TV.'
'Dude, it's not like terrorism! It is terrorism!'
'Yeah. You know, we believe in equality for everybody, and tolerance, and all that gay stuff, but dude, f**k you.'
'You know what they say: You can't teach a gay dog straight tricks.'
'Cartman, that's the dumbest thing you've ever said... this week.'
'I'm gonna make love to your a**hole, children.'
'I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!'
'Why does nobody believe that I'm serial?'
'There’s a time and a place for everything, and it’s called college.”
'Butters, remind me to cut your balls off later.'
'I'm beginning to think that maybe it's wrong to put someone who thinks they're a Vietnamese prostitute on a bull.'
'Yeah, a hippie and a terrorist is the same thing.'
'Ohh. I thought a group of Vietnamese people were getting their intestines pulled out through their mouths.'
'Then I was right. Jobe has all his children killed, and Michael Bay gets to keep making movies. There isn't a God.'
'Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness! Yummy!'
'I don't want to do it if it hurts or if it makes you get all sticky.'
'Hello Muhammad, we've read all aboot you in the Qur'an.'
'Yeah. Why we sure gave those skanky bitches what for.'
'Have you seen the poop swatches?'
'It's when you take your finger, and you stick it in a vagina and you stick it again and again.'
'I was once involved in a drive-by shooting! Whatevah, I do what I want!'
'Having boobs sucks.'
'This is hopeless. We're just going to have to face that the commercialism has been sucked out of Christmas.'
'I'm killing you. Unfortunately I could only afford a wiffle bat so this may take a while.'
'Hello, is this customer service? I'm having a problem with my new television: it's sprouted laser guns and started walking around shooting people.'
'You go to hell. You go to hell and you die.'
'Yeah, I could use some goddamn poontang, myself, right now.'
'Stan, don't you know the first law of physics? Anything that's fun costs at least eight dollars.'
'I'm so high man, I don't think I can take it.'
'What the hell is this?! Skinless chicken, boiled vegetables and salad?! This is just like Auschwitz!'
'My mom says there's a lot of black people in Africa.'
'Dad, Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!'
'Stan told me to tell you he thinks you're a cont...cont...cont...you're a cont, cont, cont...'
'Don't get cancer on the ladder, Cartman! You're gonna fall off and break it.'
'Shawna, I was wondering if I could put my penis in your vagina.'
'I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.'
'I promise I'll never go on TV with balls on my chin again.'
'Chef, what would a priest want to stick up my butt?'

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