50 South Park Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these South Park quotes?

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'I'm beginning to think that maybe it's wrong to put someone who thinks they're a Vietnamese prostitute on a bull.'
'Your mother's been worried sick! And I've been watching TV.'
'Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness! Yummy!'
'What the hell is this?! Skinless chicken, boiled vegetables and salad?! This is just like Auschwitz!'
'My mom says there's a lot of black people in Africa.'
'Hello, is this customer service? I'm having a problem with my new television: it's sprouted laser guns and started walking around shooting people.'
'Well, your moms are just upset. They’re probably all on their periods or something.'
'Dude, this is pretty f**ked up right here.'
'Stan, don't you know the first law of physics? Anything that's fun costs at least eight dollars.'
'Yeah. You know, we believe in equality for everybody, and tolerance, and all that gay stuff, but dude, f**k you.'
'You go to hell. You go to hell and you die.'
'It's when you take your finger, and you stick it in a vagina and you stick it again and again.'
'Chef, what would a priest want to stick up my butt?'
'Ohh. I thought a group of Vietnamese people were getting their intestines pulled out through their mouths.'
'I'm not drinking and driving, I'm driving while I'm drinking.'
'Stan told me to tell you he thinks you're a cont...cont...cont...you're a cont, cont, cont...'
'Cartman, that's the dumbest thing you've ever said... this week.'
'Have you seen the poop swatches?'
'I'm so high man, I don't think I can take it.'
'You know what they say: You can't teach a gay dog straight tricks.'
'Everything is back to normal. I-I think... I think I can go back to trying to destroy the world again.'
'Mom-m-m, Ben Affleck is naked in my bed!'
'Butters, remind me to cut your balls off later.'
'I'm gonna make love to your a**hole, children.'
'Hello Muhammad, we've read all aboot you in the Qur'an.'
'I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!'
'Having boobs sucks.'
'I promise I'll never go on TV with balls on my chin again.'
'Yeah. Why we sure gave those skanky bitches what for.'
'But, what if when I'm trying to put on the nose, the snowman comes alive and tries to kill me?'
'I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.'
'I was once involved in a drive-by shooting! Whatevah, I do what I want!'
'Shawna, I was wondering if I could put my penis in your vagina.'
'James Taylor, what the hell are you doing singing about prostitutes to these children? Get outta here!'
'Don't get cancer on the ladder, Cartman! You're gonna fall off and break it.'
'All animals kill, and the animals that don't kill are stupid ones like cows and turtles and stuff.'
'Yes! I am God of the sea people!'
'You put a guy's wiener in your mouth, that makes you gay, stupid!'
'Then I was right. Jobe has all his children killed, and Michael Bay gets to keep making movies. There isn't a God.'
'I'm killing you. Unfortunately I could only afford a wiffle bat so this may take a while.'
'How would YOU feel, if someone came into your home, m'kay, pulled down their pants and laid a big mud monkey right on your mom's face!'
'Yeah, I could use some goddamn poontang, myself, right now.'
'Why does nobody believe that I'm serial?'
'Yeah, a hippie and a terrorist is the same thing.'
'There’s a time and a place for everything, and it’s called college.”
'Well, excuse my French, Mrs. Marsh, but you can suck my fat hairy balls!'
'Dude, it's not like terrorism! It is terrorism!'
'Dad, Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!'
'This is hopeless. We're just going to have to face that the commercialism has been sucked out of Christmas.'
'I don't want to do it if it hurts or if it makes you get all sticky.'

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