50 South Park Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these South Park quotes?

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'Why does nobody believe that I'm serial?'
'Dude, this is pretty f**ked up right here.'
'I'm so high man, I don't think I can take it.'
'I'm gonna make love to your a**hole, children.'
'Yeah. Why we sure gave those skanky bitches what for.'
'Well, excuse my French, Mrs. Marsh, but you can suck my fat hairy balls!'
'Hello, is this customer service? I'm having a problem with my new television: it's sprouted laser guns and started walking around shooting people.'
'I was once involved in a drive-by shooting! Whatevah, I do what I want!'
'Ohh. I thought a group of Vietnamese people were getting their intestines pulled out through their mouths.'
'You know what they say: You can't teach a gay dog straight tricks.'
'There’s a time and a place for everything, and it’s called college.”
'Butters, remind me to cut your balls off later.'
'I'm killing you. Unfortunately I could only afford a wiffle bat so this may take a while.'
'It's when you take your finger, and you stick it in a vagina and you stick it again and again.'
'Don't get cancer on the ladder, Cartman! You're gonna fall off and break it.'
'James Taylor, what the hell are you doing singing about prostitutes to these children? Get outta here!'
'But, what if when I'm trying to put on the nose, the snowman comes alive and tries to kill me?'
'I don't want to do it if it hurts or if it makes you get all sticky.'
'Stan, don't you know the first law of physics? Anything that's fun costs at least eight dollars.'
'Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness! Yummy!'
'Your mother's been worried sick! And I've been watching TV.'
'Shawna, I was wondering if I could put my penis in your vagina.'
'Dad, Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!'
'Have you seen the poop swatches?'
'I'm beginning to think that maybe it's wrong to put someone who thinks they're a Vietnamese prostitute on a bull.'
'You go to hell. You go to hell and you die.'
'All animals kill, and the animals that don't kill are stupid ones like cows and turtles and stuff.'
'Cartman, that's the dumbest thing you've ever said... this week.'
'Stan told me to tell you he thinks you're a cont...cont...cont...you're a cont, cont, cont...'
'I'm not drinking and driving, I'm driving while I'm drinking.'
'Well, your moms are just upset. They’re probably all on their periods or something.'
'Yes! I am God of the sea people!'
'This is hopeless. We're just going to have to face that the commercialism has been sucked out of Christmas.'
'I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!'
'Then I was right. Jobe has all his children killed, and Michael Bay gets to keep making movies. There isn't a God.'
'Dude, it's not like terrorism! It is terrorism!'
'You put a guy's wiener in your mouth, that makes you gay, stupid!'
'Chef, what would a priest want to stick up my butt?'
'Everything is back to normal. I-I think... I think I can go back to trying to destroy the world again.'
'I promise I'll never go on TV with balls on my chin again.'
'Yeah, I could use some goddamn poontang, myself, right now.'
'Mom-m-m, Ben Affleck is naked in my bed!'
'Hello Muhammad, we've read all aboot you in the Qur'an.'
'Yeah. You know, we believe in equality for everybody, and tolerance, and all that gay stuff, but dude, f**k you.'
'How would YOU feel, if someone came into your home, m'kay, pulled down their pants and laid a big mud monkey right on your mom's face!'
'Having boobs sucks.'
'What the hell is this?! Skinless chicken, boiled vegetables and salad?! This is just like Auschwitz!'
'I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.'
'My mom says there's a lot of black people in Africa.'
'Yeah, a hippie and a terrorist is the same thing.'

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