50 South Park Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these South Park quotes?

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QuoteCharacter
'How would YOU feel, if someone came into your home, m'kay, pulled down their pants and laid a big mud monkey right on your mom's face!'
'I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.'
'Hello Muhammad, we've read all aboot you in the Qur'an.'
'Dude, it's not like terrorism! It is terrorism!'
'This is hopeless. We're just going to have to face that the commercialism has been sucked out of Christmas.'
'I was once involved in a drive-by shooting! Whatevah, I do what I want!'
'Yeah. Why we sure gave those skanky bitches what for.'
'I'm not drinking and driving, I'm driving while I'm drinking.'
'You put a guy's wiener in your mouth, that makes you gay, stupid!'
'I'm so high man, I don't think I can take it.'
'I'm killing you. Unfortunately I could only afford a wiffle bat so this may take a while.'
'Well, excuse my French, Mrs. Marsh, but you can suck my fat hairy balls!'
'Then I was right. Jobe has all his children killed, and Michael Bay gets to keep making movies. There isn't a God.'
'Hello, is this customer service? I'm having a problem with my new television: it's sprouted laser guns and started walking around shooting people.'
'Mom-m-m, Ben Affleck is naked in my bed!'
'Stan, don't you know the first law of physics? Anything that's fun costs at least eight dollars.'
'Have you seen the poop swatches?'
'Well, your moms are just upset. They’re probably all on their periods or something.'
'Yeah, a hippie and a terrorist is the same thing.'
'I'm gonna make love to your a**hole, children.'
'Dude, this is pretty f**ked up right here.'
'You go to hell. You go to hell and you die.'
'Ohh. I thought a group of Vietnamese people were getting their intestines pulled out through their mouths.'
'There’s a time and a place for everything, and it’s called college.”
'Shawna, I was wondering if I could put my penis in your vagina.'
QuoteCharacter
'Your mother's been worried sick! And I've been watching TV.'
'Dad, Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!'
'Stan told me to tell you he thinks you're a cont...cont...cont...you're a cont, cont, cont...'
'Everything is back to normal. I-I think... I think I can go back to trying to destroy the world again.'
'Yeah, I could use some goddamn poontang, myself, right now.'
'James Taylor, what the hell are you doing singing about prostitutes to these children? Get outta here!'
'Yeah. You know, we believe in equality for everybody, and tolerance, and all that gay stuff, but dude, f**k you.'
'I'm beginning to think that maybe it's wrong to put someone who thinks they're a Vietnamese prostitute on a bull.'
'Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness! Yummy!'
'My mom says there's a lot of black people in Africa.'
'All animals kill, and the animals that don't kill are stupid ones like cows and turtles and stuff.'
'It's when you take your finger, and you stick it in a vagina and you stick it again and again.'
'Don't get cancer on the ladder, Cartman! You're gonna fall off and break it.'
'I don't want to do it if it hurts or if it makes you get all sticky.'
'Butters, remind me to cut your balls off later.'
'Chef, what would a priest want to stick up my butt?'
'Yes! I am God of the sea people!'
'I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!'
'Cartman, that's the dumbest thing you've ever said... this week.'
'What the hell is this?! Skinless chicken, boiled vegetables and salad?! This is just like Auschwitz!'
'You know what they say: You can't teach a gay dog straight tricks.'
'Why does nobody believe that I'm serial?'
'I promise I'll never go on TV with balls on my chin again.'
'Having boobs sucks.'
'But, what if when I'm trying to put on the nose, the snowman comes alive and tries to kill me?'

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