50 South Park Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these South Park quotes?

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'I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.'
'All animals kill, and the animals that don't kill are stupid ones like cows and turtles and stuff.'
'Yeah. Why we sure gave those skanky bitches what for.'
'Chef, what would a priest want to stick up my butt?'
'You know what they say: You can't teach a gay dog straight tricks.'
'Have you seen the poop swatches?'
'Cartman, that's the dumbest thing you've ever said... this week.'
'How would YOU feel, if someone came into your home, m'kay, pulled down their pants and laid a big mud monkey right on your mom's face!'
'Your mother's been worried sick! And I've been watching TV.'
'You go to hell. You go to hell and you die.'
'Then I was right. Jobe has all his children killed, and Michael Bay gets to keep making movies. There isn't a God.'
'Hello, is this customer service? I'm having a problem with my new television: it's sprouted laser guns and started walking around shooting people.'
'Yeah. You know, we believe in equality for everybody, and tolerance, and all that gay stuff, but dude, f**k you.'
'Mom-m-m, Ben Affleck is naked in my bed!'
'Shawna, I was wondering if I could put my penis in your vagina.'
'Having boobs sucks.'
'Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness! Yummy!'
'I don't want to do it if it hurts or if it makes you get all sticky.'
'I'm gonna make love to your a**hole, children.'
'There’s a time and a place for everything, and it’s called college.”
'Well, excuse my French, Mrs. Marsh, but you can suck my fat hairy balls!'
'Yes! I am God of the sea people!'
'Ohh. I thought a group of Vietnamese people were getting their intestines pulled out through their mouths.'
'Dad, Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!'
'Well, your moms are just upset. They’re probably all on their periods or something.'
'I promise I'll never go on TV with balls on my chin again.'
'Stan told me to tell you he thinks you're a cont...cont...cont...you're a cont, cont, cont...'
'My mom says there's a lot of black people in Africa.'
'Dude, it's not like terrorism! It is terrorism!'
'It's when you take your finger, and you stick it in a vagina and you stick it again and again.'
'Stan, don't you know the first law of physics? Anything that's fun costs at least eight dollars.'
'I was once involved in a drive-by shooting! Whatevah, I do what I want!'
'Why does nobody believe that I'm serial?'
'Dude, this is pretty f**ked up right here.'
'Butters, remind me to cut your balls off later.'
'Everything is back to normal. I-I think... I think I can go back to trying to destroy the world again.'
'I'm beginning to think that maybe it's wrong to put someone who thinks they're a Vietnamese prostitute on a bull.'
'Yeah, a hippie and a terrorist is the same thing.'
'I'm not drinking and driving, I'm driving while I'm drinking.'
'I'm so high man, I don't think I can take it.'
'I'm killing you. Unfortunately I could only afford a wiffle bat so this may take a while.'
'This is hopeless. We're just going to have to face that the commercialism has been sucked out of Christmas.'
'James Taylor, what the hell are you doing singing about prostitutes to these children? Get outta here!'
'You put a guy's wiener in your mouth, that makes you gay, stupid!'
'Hello Muhammad, we've read all aboot you in the Qur'an.'
'Yeah, I could use some goddamn poontang, myself, right now.'
'What the hell is this?! Skinless chicken, boiled vegetables and salad?! This is just like Auschwitz!'
'I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!'
'But, what if when I'm trying to put on the nose, the snowman comes alive and tries to kill me?'
'Don't get cancer on the ladder, Cartman! You're gonna fall off and break it.'

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Created Oct 3, 2012ReportNominate
Tags:quote, South Park, eric, kenny, kyle, randy, stan