50 South Park Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these South Park quotes?

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'I'm killing you. Unfortunately I could only afford a wiffle bat so this may take a while.'
'But, what if when I'm trying to put on the nose, the snowman comes alive and tries to kill me?'
'Dude, this is pretty f**ked up right here.'
'What the hell is this?! Skinless chicken, boiled vegetables and salad?! This is just like Auschwitz!'
'Mom-m-m, Ben Affleck is naked in my bed!'
'My mom says there's a lot of black people in Africa.'
'Stan, don't you know the first law of physics? Anything that's fun costs at least eight dollars.'
'Dude, it's not like terrorism! It is terrorism!'
'Having boobs sucks.'
'Your mother's been worried sick! And I've been watching TV.'
'Have you seen the poop swatches?'
'Yeah, I could use some goddamn poontang, myself, right now.'
'There’s a time and a place for everything, and it’s called college.”
'Hello, is this customer service? I'm having a problem with my new television: it's sprouted laser guns and started walking around shooting people.'
'James Taylor, what the hell are you doing singing about prostitutes to these children? Get outta here!'
'I'm not drinking and driving, I'm driving while I'm drinking.'
'Well, your moms are just upset. They’re probably all on their periods or something.'
'I was once involved in a drive-by shooting! Whatevah, I do what I want!'
'Stan told me to tell you he thinks you're a cont...cont...cont...you're a cont, cont, cont...'
'How would YOU feel, if someone came into your home, m'kay, pulled down their pants and laid a big mud monkey right on your mom's face!'
'I'm so high man, I don't think I can take it.'
'I don't want to do it if it hurts or if it makes you get all sticky.'
'Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness! Yummy!'
'Chef, what would a priest want to stick up my butt?'
'Cartman, that's the dumbest thing you've ever said... this week.'
'Yeah. You know, we believe in equality for everybody, and tolerance, and all that gay stuff, but dude, f**k you.'
'Yeah, a hippie and a terrorist is the same thing.'
'All animals kill, and the animals that don't kill are stupid ones like cows and turtles and stuff.'
'I'm gonna make love to your a**hole, children.'
'Yes! I am God of the sea people!'
'I promise I'll never go on TV with balls on my chin again.'
'Butters, remind me to cut your balls off later.'
'Why does nobody believe that I'm serial?'
'I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.'
'It's when you take your finger, and you stick it in a vagina and you stick it again and again.'
'Shawna, I was wondering if I could put my penis in your vagina.'
'This is hopeless. We're just going to have to face that the commercialism has been sucked out of Christmas.'
'Don't get cancer on the ladder, Cartman! You're gonna fall off and break it.'
'Yeah. Why we sure gave those skanky bitches what for.'
'Hello Muhammad, we've read all aboot you in the Qur'an.'
'You go to hell. You go to hell and you die.'
'Well, excuse my French, Mrs. Marsh, but you can suck my fat hairy balls!'
'Ohh. I thought a group of Vietnamese people were getting their intestines pulled out through their mouths.'
'You put a guy's wiener in your mouth, that makes you gay, stupid!'
'You know what they say: You can't teach a gay dog straight tricks.'
'Then I was right. Jobe has all his children killed, and Michael Bay gets to keep making movies. There isn't a God.'
'Everything is back to normal. I-I think... I think I can go back to trying to destroy the world again.'
'Dad, Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!'
'I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!'
'I'm beginning to think that maybe it's wrong to put someone who thinks they're a Vietnamese prostitute on a bull.'

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Created Oct 3, 2012ReportNominate
Tags:quote, South Park, eric, kenny, kyle, randy, stan