50 South Park Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these South Park quotes?

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QuoteCharacter
'I'm not drinking and driving, I'm driving while I'm drinking.'
'I'm gonna make love to your a**hole, children.'
'Stan, don't you know the first law of physics? Anything that's fun costs at least eight dollars.'
'Why does nobody believe that I'm serial?'
'Yeah, a hippie and a terrorist is the same thing.'
'I'm so high man, I don't think I can take it.'
'Dude, it's not like terrorism! It is terrorism!'
'I don't want to do it if it hurts or if it makes you get all sticky.'
'I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.'
'Hello, is this customer service? I'm having a problem with my new television: it's sprouted laser guns and started walking around shooting people.'
'How would YOU feel, if someone came into your home, m'kay, pulled down their pants and laid a big mud monkey right on your mom's face!'
'Ohh. I thought a group of Vietnamese people were getting their intestines pulled out through their mouths.'
'Shawna, I was wondering if I could put my penis in your vagina.'
'You go to hell. You go to hell and you die.'
'Yes! I am God of the sea people!'
'I was once involved in a drive-by shooting! Whatevah, I do what I want!'
'James Taylor, what the hell are you doing singing about prostitutes to these children? Get outta here!'
'Mom-m-m, Ben Affleck is naked in my bed!'
'Yeah. Why we sure gave those skanky bitches what for.'
'All animals kill, and the animals that don't kill are stupid ones like cows and turtles and stuff.'
'Well, your moms are just upset. They’re probably all on their periods or something.'
'Butters, remind me to cut your balls off later.'
'Yeah, I could use some goddamn poontang, myself, right now.'
'This is hopeless. We're just going to have to face that the commercialism has been sucked out of Christmas.'
'I promise I'll never go on TV with balls on my chin again.'
QuoteCharacter
'I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!'
'You put a guy's wiener in your mouth, that makes you gay, stupid!'
'It's when you take your finger, and you stick it in a vagina and you stick it again and again.'
'I'm beginning to think that maybe it's wrong to put someone who thinks they're a Vietnamese prostitute on a bull.'
'Well, excuse my French, Mrs. Marsh, but you can suck my fat hairy balls!'
'Chef, what would a priest want to stick up my butt?'
'But, what if when I'm trying to put on the nose, the snowman comes alive and tries to kill me?'
'Dude, this is pretty f**ked up right here.'
'You know what they say: You can't teach a gay dog straight tricks.'
'Your mother's been worried sick! And I've been watching TV.'
'Have you seen the poop swatches?'
'Don't get cancer on the ladder, Cartman! You're gonna fall off and break it.'
'Cartman, that's the dumbest thing you've ever said... this week.'
'My mom says there's a lot of black people in Africa.'
'Stan told me to tell you he thinks you're a cont...cont...cont...you're a cont, cont, cont...'
'Everything is back to normal. I-I think... I think I can go back to trying to destroy the world again.'
'I'm killing you. Unfortunately I could only afford a wiffle bat so this may take a while.'
'There’s a time and a place for everything, and it’s called college.”
'What the hell is this?! Skinless chicken, boiled vegetables and salad?! This is just like Auschwitz!'
'Yeah. You know, we believe in equality for everybody, and tolerance, and all that gay stuff, but dude, f**k you.'
'Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness! Yummy!'
'Having boobs sucks.'
'Then I was right. Jobe has all his children killed, and Michael Bay gets to keep making movies. There isn't a God.'
'Dad, Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!'
'Hello Muhammad, we've read all aboot you in the Qur'an.'

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Created Oct 3, 2012ReportNominate
Tags:quote, South Park, eric, kenny, kyle, randy, stan