50 South Park Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these South Park quotes?

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QuoteCharacter
'Have you seen the poop swatches?'
'Yeah. You know, we believe in equality for everybody, and tolerance, and all that gay stuff, but dude, f**k you.'
'Dad, Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!'
'I'm killing you. Unfortunately I could only afford a wiffle bat so this may take a while.'
'What the hell is this?! Skinless chicken, boiled vegetables and salad?! This is just like Auschwitz!'
'You know what they say: You can't teach a gay dog straight tricks.'
'Then I was right. Jobe has all his children killed, and Michael Bay gets to keep making movies. There isn't a God.'
'Dude, it's not like terrorism! It is terrorism!'
'Butters, remind me to cut your balls off later.'
'I'm beginning to think that maybe it's wrong to put someone who thinks they're a Vietnamese prostitute on a bull.'
'Dude, this is pretty f**ked up right here.'
'My mom says there's a lot of black people in Africa.'
'I'm so high man, I don't think I can take it.'
'I promise I'll never go on TV with balls on my chin again.'
'Yeah, a hippie and a terrorist is the same thing.'
'Well, excuse my French, Mrs. Marsh, but you can suck my fat hairy balls!'
'Hello Muhammad, we've read all aboot you in the Qur'an.'
'Yeah. Why we sure gave those skanky bitches what for.'
'Yeah, I could use some goddamn poontang, myself, right now.'
'I'm gonna make love to your a**hole, children.'
'Your mother's been worried sick! And I've been watching TV.'
'Having boobs sucks.'
'I don't want to do it if it hurts or if it makes you get all sticky.'
'Ohh. I thought a group of Vietnamese people were getting their intestines pulled out through their mouths.'
'All animals kill, and the animals that don't kill are stupid ones like cows and turtles and stuff.'
QuoteCharacter
'Cartman, that's the dumbest thing you've ever said... this week.'
'I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!'
'There’s a time and a place for everything, and it’s called college.”
'Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness! Yummy!'
'How would YOU feel, if someone came into your home, m'kay, pulled down their pants and laid a big mud monkey right on your mom's face!'
'Stan told me to tell you he thinks you're a cont...cont...cont...you're a cont, cont, cont...'
'Everything is back to normal. I-I think... I think I can go back to trying to destroy the world again.'
'Stan, don't you know the first law of physics? Anything that's fun costs at least eight dollars.'
'I was once involved in a drive-by shooting! Whatevah, I do what I want!'
'Mom-m-m, Ben Affleck is naked in my bed!'
'But, what if when I'm trying to put on the nose, the snowman comes alive and tries to kill me?'
'Chef, what would a priest want to stick up my butt?'
'James Taylor, what the hell are you doing singing about prostitutes to these children? Get outta here!'
'I'm not drinking and driving, I'm driving while I'm drinking.'
'Well, your moms are just upset. They’re probably all on their periods or something.'
'Shawna, I was wondering if I could put my penis in your vagina.'
'I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.'
'Why does nobody believe that I'm serial?'
'Hello, is this customer service? I'm having a problem with my new television: it's sprouted laser guns and started walking around shooting people.'
'This is hopeless. We're just going to have to face that the commercialism has been sucked out of Christmas.'
'Don't get cancer on the ladder, Cartman! You're gonna fall off and break it.'
'It's when you take your finger, and you stick it in a vagina and you stick it again and again.'
'Yes! I am God of the sea people!'
'You go to hell. You go to hell and you die.'
'You put a guy's wiener in your mouth, that makes you gay, stupid!'

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Created Oct 3, 2012ReportNominate
Tags:quote, South Park, eric, kenny, kyle, randy, stan