50 South Park Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these South Park quotes?

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QuoteCharacter
'It's when you take your finger, and you stick it in a vagina and you stick it again and again.'
'Dude, this is pretty f**ked up right here.'
'Why does nobody believe that I'm serial?'
'I promise I'll never go on TV with balls on my chin again.'
'Have you seen the poop swatches?'
'Stan told me to tell you he thinks you're a cont...cont...cont...you're a cont, cont, cont...'
'Dad, Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!'
'Yeah. You know, we believe in equality for everybody, and tolerance, and all that gay stuff, but dude, f**k you.'
'Well, your moms are just upset. They’re probably all on their periods or something.'
'Your mother's been worried sick! And I've been watching TV.'
'Well, excuse my French, Mrs. Marsh, but you can suck my fat hairy balls!'
'Then I was right. Jobe has all his children killed, and Michael Bay gets to keep making movies. There isn't a God.'
'Shawna, I was wondering if I could put my penis in your vagina.'
'Hello, is this customer service? I'm having a problem with my new television: it's sprouted laser guns and started walking around shooting people.'
'I'm so high man, I don't think I can take it.'
'There’s a time and a place for everything, and it’s called college.”
'Everything is back to normal. I-I think... I think I can go back to trying to destroy the world again.'
'Stan, don't you know the first law of physics? Anything that's fun costs at least eight dollars.'
'But, what if when I'm trying to put on the nose, the snowman comes alive and tries to kill me?'
'You go to hell. You go to hell and you die.'
'Yes! I am God of the sea people!'
'I don't want to do it if it hurts or if it makes you get all sticky.'
'Ohh. I thought a group of Vietnamese people were getting their intestines pulled out through their mouths.'
'Chef, what would a priest want to stick up my butt?'
'Yeah, I could use some goddamn poontang, myself, right now.'
QuoteCharacter
'Cartman, that's the dumbest thing you've ever said... this week.'
'I was once involved in a drive-by shooting! Whatevah, I do what I want!'
'You know what they say: You can't teach a gay dog straight tricks.'
'Hello Muhammad, we've read all aboot you in the Qur'an.'
'I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.'
'You put a guy's wiener in your mouth, that makes you gay, stupid!'
'How would YOU feel, if someone came into your home, m'kay, pulled down their pants and laid a big mud monkey right on your mom's face!'
'Dude, it's not like terrorism! It is terrorism!'
'Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness! Yummy!'
'All animals kill, and the animals that don't kill are stupid ones like cows and turtles and stuff.'
'Don't get cancer on the ladder, Cartman! You're gonna fall off and break it.'
'Butters, remind me to cut your balls off later.'
'My mom says there's a lot of black people in Africa.'
'Mom-m-m, Ben Affleck is naked in my bed!'
'I'm gonna make love to your a**hole, children.'
'Yeah, a hippie and a terrorist is the same thing.'
'I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!'
'What the hell is this?! Skinless chicken, boiled vegetables and salad?! This is just like Auschwitz!'
'James Taylor, what the hell are you doing singing about prostitutes to these children? Get outta here!'
'Having boobs sucks.'
'Yeah. Why we sure gave those skanky bitches what for.'
'This is hopeless. We're just going to have to face that the commercialism has been sucked out of Christmas.'
'I'm beginning to think that maybe it's wrong to put someone who thinks they're a Vietnamese prostitute on a bull.'
'I'm not drinking and driving, I'm driving while I'm drinking.'
'I'm killing you. Unfortunately I could only afford a wiffle bat so this may take a while.'

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