50 South Park Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these South Park quotes?

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'There’s a time and a place for everything, and it’s called college.”
'Yeah. You know, we believe in equality for everybody, and tolerance, and all that gay stuff, but dude, f**k you.'
'Dad, Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!'
'Your mother's been worried sick! And I've been watching TV.'
'James Taylor, what the hell are you doing singing about prostitutes to these children? Get outta here!'
'Hello Muhammad, we've read all aboot you in the Qur'an.'
'Mom-m-m, Ben Affleck is naked in my bed!'
'Well, your moms are just upset. They’re probably all on their periods or something.'
'I'm not drinking and driving, I'm driving while I'm drinking.'
'I'm so high man, I don't think I can take it.'
'How would YOU feel, if someone came into your home, m'kay, pulled down their pants and laid a big mud monkey right on your mom's face!'
'It's when you take your finger, and you stick it in a vagina and you stick it again and again.'
'Butters, remind me to cut your balls off later.'
'All animals kill, and the animals that don't kill are stupid ones like cows and turtles and stuff.'
'I'm beginning to think that maybe it's wrong to put someone who thinks they're a Vietnamese prostitute on a bull.'
'You go to hell. You go to hell and you die.'
'Yeah. Why we sure gave those skanky bitches what for.'
'This is hopeless. We're just going to have to face that the commercialism has been sucked out of Christmas.'
'Well, excuse my French, Mrs. Marsh, but you can suck my fat hairy balls!'
'You put a guy's wiener in your mouth, that makes you gay, stupid!'
'I was once involved in a drive-by shooting! Whatevah, I do what I want!'
'What the hell is this?! Skinless chicken, boiled vegetables and salad?! This is just like Auschwitz!'
'Stan told me to tell you he thinks you're a cont...cont...cont...you're a cont, cont, cont...'
'Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness! Yummy!'
'Yeah, I could use some goddamn poontang, myself, right now.'
'Dude, it's not like terrorism! It is terrorism!'
'You know what they say: You can't teach a gay dog straight tricks.'
'Stan, don't you know the first law of physics? Anything that's fun costs at least eight dollars.'
'I'm killing you. Unfortunately I could only afford a wiffle bat so this may take a while.'
'I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.'
'Chef, what would a priest want to stick up my butt?'
'Shawna, I was wondering if I could put my penis in your vagina.'
'Then I was right. Jobe has all his children killed, and Michael Bay gets to keep making movies. There isn't a God.'
'I don't want to do it if it hurts or if it makes you get all sticky.'
'I'm gonna make love to your a**hole, children.'
'Have you seen the poop swatches?'
'Cartman, that's the dumbest thing you've ever said... this week.'
'I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!'
'Yes! I am God of the sea people!'
'Having boobs sucks.'
'Hello, is this customer service? I'm having a problem with my new television: it's sprouted laser guns and started walking around shooting people.'
'I promise I'll never go on TV with balls on my chin again.'
'But, what if when I'm trying to put on the nose, the snowman comes alive and tries to kill me?'
'Don't get cancer on the ladder, Cartman! You're gonna fall off and break it.'
'Why does nobody believe that I'm serial?'
'Everything is back to normal. I-I think... I think I can go back to trying to destroy the world again.'
'Dude, this is pretty f**ked up right here.'
'Yeah, a hippie and a terrorist is the same thing.'
'My mom says there's a lot of black people in Africa.'
'Ohh. I thought a group of Vietnamese people were getting their intestines pulled out through their mouths.'

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Created Oct 3, 2012ReportNominate
Tags:quote, South Park, eric, kenny, kyle, randy, stan