Television / 50 South Park Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these South Park quotes?

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'But, what if when I'm trying to put on the nose, the snowman comes alive and tries to kill me?'
'Dad, Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!'
'There’s a time and a place for everything, and it’s called college.”
'I was once involved in a drive-by shooting! Whatevah, I do what I want!'
'I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.'
'You go to hell. You go to hell and you die.'
'Well, your moms are just upset. They’re probably all on their periods or something.'
'Dude, this is pretty f**ked up right here.'
'This is hopeless. We're just going to have to face that the commercialism has been sucked out of Christmas.'
'Having boobs sucks.'
'I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!'
'Don't get cancer on the ladder, Cartman! You're gonna fall off and break it.'
'Yeah, I could use some goddamn poontang, myself, right now.'
'You put a guy's wiener in your mouth, that makes you gay, stupid!'
'Stan told me to tell you he thinks you're a're a cont, cont, cont...'
'Well, excuse my French, Mrs. Marsh, but you can suck my fat hairy balls!'
'Then I was right. Jobe has all his children killed, and Michael Bay gets to keep making movies. There isn't a God.'
'You know what they say: You can't teach a gay dog straight tricks.'
'Dude, it's not like terrorism! It is terrorism!'
'It's when you take your finger, and you stick it in a vagina and you stick it again and again.'
'Yeah. You know, we believe in equality for everybody, and tolerance, and all that gay stuff, but dude, f**k you.'
'I'm so high man, I don't think I can take it.'
'Yeah. Why we sure gave those skanky bitches what for.'
'Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness! Yummy!'
'I don't want to do it if it hurts or if it makes you get all sticky.'
'How would YOU feel, if someone came into your home, m'kay, pulled down their pants and laid a big mud monkey right on your mom's face!'
'I'm killing you. Unfortunately I could only afford a wiffle bat so this may take a while.'
'Butters, remind me to cut your balls off later.'
'Hello, is this customer service? I'm having a problem with my new television: it's sprouted laser guns and started walking around shooting people.'
'All animals kill, and the animals that don't kill are stupid ones like cows and turtles and stuff.'
'Ohh. I thought a group of Vietnamese people were getting their intestines pulled out through their mouths.'
'Yes! I am God of the sea people!'
'Shawna, I was wondering if I could put my penis in your vagina.'
'Cartman, that's the dumbest thing you've ever said... this week.'
'Stan, don't you know the first law of physics? Anything that's fun costs at least eight dollars.'
'I'm not drinking and driving, I'm driving while I'm drinking.'
'James Taylor, what the hell are you doing singing about prostitutes to these children? Get outta here!'
'I'm gonna make love to your a**hole, children.'
'I promise I'll never go on TV with balls on my chin again.'
'Chef, what would a priest want to stick up my butt?'
'My mom says there's a lot of black people in Africa.'
'Everything is back to normal. I-I think... I think I can go back to trying to destroy the world again.'
'Mom-m-m, Ben Affleck is naked in my bed!'
'What the hell is this?! Skinless chicken, boiled vegetables and salad?! This is just like Auschwitz!'
'Your mother's been worried sick! And I've been watching TV.'
'Have you seen the poop swatches?'
'I'm beginning to think that maybe it's wrong to put someone who thinks they're a Vietnamese prostitute on a bull.'
'Hello Muhammad, we've read all aboot you in the Qur'an.'
'Why does nobody believe that I'm serial?'
'Yeah, a hippie and a terrorist is the same thing.'

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