50 South Park Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these South Park quotes?

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QuoteCharacter
'I don't want to do it if it hurts or if it makes you get all sticky.'
'I'm killing you. Unfortunately I could only afford a wiffle bat so this may take a while.'
'Yeah, a hippie and a terrorist is the same thing.'
'Hello Muhammad, we've read all aboot you in the Qur'an.'
'Cartman, that's the dumbest thing you've ever said... this week.'
'You know what they say: You can't teach a gay dog straight tricks.'
'Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness! Yummy!'
'Dude, it's not like terrorism! It is terrorism!'
'But, what if when I'm trying to put on the nose, the snowman comes alive and tries to kill me?'
'I'm beginning to think that maybe it's wrong to put someone who thinks they're a Vietnamese prostitute on a bull.'
'Hello, is this customer service? I'm having a problem with my new television: it's sprouted laser guns and started walking around shooting people.'
'I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!'
'I'm not drinking and driving, I'm driving while I'm drinking.'
'Stan, don't you know the first law of physics? Anything that's fun costs at least eight dollars.'
'Yeah, I could use some goddamn poontang, myself, right now.'
'I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.'
'Yeah. You know, we believe in equality for everybody, and tolerance, and all that gay stuff, but dude, f**k you.'
'All animals kill, and the animals that don't kill are stupid ones like cows and turtles and stuff.'
'Why does nobody believe that I'm serial?'
'Well, excuse my French, Mrs. Marsh, but you can suck my fat hairy balls!'
'Having boobs sucks.'
'My mom says there's a lot of black people in Africa.'
'I was once involved in a drive-by shooting! Whatevah, I do what I want!'
'How would YOU feel, if someone came into your home, m'kay, pulled down their pants and laid a big mud monkey right on your mom's face!'
'Mom-m-m, Ben Affleck is naked in my bed!'
QuoteCharacter
'You put a guy's wiener in your mouth, that makes you gay, stupid!'
'Dude, this is pretty f**ked up right here.'
'You go to hell. You go to hell and you die.'
'Then I was right. Jobe has all his children killed, and Michael Bay gets to keep making movies. There isn't a God.'
'Shawna, I was wondering if I could put my penis in your vagina.'
'This is hopeless. We're just going to have to face that the commercialism has been sucked out of Christmas.'
'Yes! I am God of the sea people!'
'I'm so high man, I don't think I can take it.'
'Stan told me to tell you he thinks you're a cont...cont...cont...you're a cont, cont, cont...'
'Chef, what would a priest want to stick up my butt?'
'Yeah. Why we sure gave those skanky bitches what for.'
'It's when you take your finger, and you stick it in a vagina and you stick it again and again.'
'Dad, Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!'
'Don't get cancer on the ladder, Cartman! You're gonna fall off and break it.'
'There’s a time and a place for everything, and it’s called college.”
'What the hell is this?! Skinless chicken, boiled vegetables and salad?! This is just like Auschwitz!'
'Everything is back to normal. I-I think... I think I can go back to trying to destroy the world again.'
'I promise I'll never go on TV with balls on my chin again.'
'James Taylor, what the hell are you doing singing about prostitutes to these children? Get outta here!'
'Well, your moms are just upset. They’re probably all on their periods or something.'
'Your mother's been worried sick! And I've been watching TV.'
'Have you seen the poop swatches?'
'Ohh. I thought a group of Vietnamese people were getting their intestines pulled out through their mouths.'
'Butters, remind me to cut your balls off later.'
'I'm gonna make love to your a**hole, children.'

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Created Oct 3, 2012ReportNominate
Tags:quote, South Park, eric, kenny, kyle, randy, stan