50 South Park Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these South Park quotes?

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'There’s a time and a place for everything, and it’s called college.”
'Yeah. You know, we believe in equality for everybody, and tolerance, and all that gay stuff, but dude, f**k you.'
'Yes! I am God of the sea people!'
'I'm killing you. Unfortunately I could only afford a wiffle bat so this may take a while.'
'Don't get cancer on the ladder, Cartman! You're gonna fall off and break it.'
'This is hopeless. We're just going to have to face that the commercialism has been sucked out of Christmas.'
'Why does nobody believe that I'm serial?'
'But, what if when I'm trying to put on the nose, the snowman comes alive and tries to kill me?'
'I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.'
'Stan, don't you know the first law of physics? Anything that's fun costs at least eight dollars.'
'Cartman, that's the dumbest thing you've ever said... this week.'
'My mom says there's a lot of black people in Africa.'
'Yeah, I could use some goddamn poontang, myself, right now.'
'Yeah, a hippie and a terrorist is the same thing.'
'Butters, remind me to cut your balls off later.'
'I was once involved in a drive-by shooting! Whatevah, I do what I want!'
'James Taylor, what the hell are you doing singing about prostitutes to these children? Get outta here!'
'Hello, is this customer service? I'm having a problem with my new television: it's sprouted laser guns and started walking around shooting people.'
'Chef, what would a priest want to stick up my butt?'
'All animals kill, and the animals that don't kill are stupid ones like cows and turtles and stuff.'
'Shawna, I was wondering if I could put my penis in your vagina.'
'Dude, this is pretty f**ked up right here.'
'How would YOU feel, if someone came into your home, m'kay, pulled down their pants and laid a big mud monkey right on your mom's face!'
'Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness! Yummy!'
'I don't want to do it if it hurts or if it makes you get all sticky.'
'Then I was right. Jobe has all his children killed, and Michael Bay gets to keep making movies. There isn't a God.'
'I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!'
'I'm gonna make love to your a**hole, children.'
'Your mother's been worried sick! And I've been watching TV.'
'I'm so high man, I don't think I can take it.'
'Mom-m-m, Ben Affleck is naked in my bed!'
'Well, your moms are just upset. They’re probably all on their periods or something.'
'Well, excuse my French, Mrs. Marsh, but you can suck my fat hairy balls!'
'Dude, it's not like terrorism! It is terrorism!'
'What the hell is this?! Skinless chicken, boiled vegetables and salad?! This is just like Auschwitz!'
'Yeah. Why we sure gave those skanky bitches what for.'
'Everything is back to normal. I-I think... I think I can go back to trying to destroy the world again.'
'I'm not drinking and driving, I'm driving while I'm drinking.'
'Ohh. I thought a group of Vietnamese people were getting their intestines pulled out through their mouths.'
'You go to hell. You go to hell and you die.'
'It's when you take your finger, and you stick it in a vagina and you stick it again and again.'
'Have you seen the poop swatches?'
'Having boobs sucks.'
'I'm beginning to think that maybe it's wrong to put someone who thinks they're a Vietnamese prostitute on a bull.'
'You know what they say: You can't teach a gay dog straight tricks.'
'Stan told me to tell you he thinks you're a cont...cont...cont...you're a cont, cont, cont...'
'Hello Muhammad, we've read all aboot you in the Qur'an.'
'I promise I'll never go on TV with balls on my chin again.'
'Dad, Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!'
'You put a guy's wiener in your mouth, that makes you gay, stupid!'

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