50 South Park Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these South Park quotes?

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'All animals kill, and the animals that don't kill are stupid ones like cows and turtles and stuff.'
'I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!'
'How would YOU feel, if someone came into your home, m'kay, pulled down their pants and laid a big mud monkey right on your mom's face!'
'Yeah. Why we sure gave those skanky bitches what for.'
'Yeah, I could use some goddamn poontang, myself, right now.'
'You go to hell. You go to hell and you die.'
'Mom-m-m, Ben Affleck is naked in my bed!'
'I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.'
'Chef, what would a priest want to stick up my butt?'
'I'm killing you. Unfortunately I could only afford a wiffle bat so this may take a while.'
'Dude, it's not like terrorism! It is terrorism!'
'Shawna, I was wondering if I could put my penis in your vagina.'
'Then I was right. Jobe has all his children killed, and Michael Bay gets to keep making movies. There isn't a God.'
'Well, excuse my French, Mrs. Marsh, but you can suck my fat hairy balls!'
'Cartman, that's the dumbest thing you've ever said... this week.'
'Dude, this is pretty f**ked up right here.'
'Yeah, a hippie and a terrorist is the same thing.'
'I'm beginning to think that maybe it's wrong to put someone who thinks they're a Vietnamese prostitute on a bull.'
'Hello, is this customer service? I'm having a problem with my new television: it's sprouted laser guns and started walking around shooting people.'
'Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness! Yummy!'
'Butters, remind me to cut your balls off later.'
'Have you seen the poop swatches?'
'Yes! I am God of the sea people!'
'What the hell is this?! Skinless chicken, boiled vegetables and salad?! This is just like Auschwitz!'
'Hello Muhammad, we've read all aboot you in the Qur'an.'
'I promise I'll never go on TV with balls on my chin again.'
'This is hopeless. We're just going to have to face that the commercialism has been sucked out of Christmas.'
'Yeah. You know, we believe in equality for everybody, and tolerance, and all that gay stuff, but dude, f**k you.'
'Why does nobody believe that I'm serial?'
'There’s a time and a place for everything, and it’s called college.”
'I'm gonna make love to your a**hole, children.'
'Ohh. I thought a group of Vietnamese people were getting their intestines pulled out through their mouths.'
'Stan, don't you know the first law of physics? Anything that's fun costs at least eight dollars.'
'I'm not drinking and driving, I'm driving while I'm drinking.'
'You know what they say: You can't teach a gay dog straight tricks.'
'You put a guy's wiener in your mouth, that makes you gay, stupid!'
'Well, your moms are just upset. They’re probably all on their periods or something.'
'I don't want to do it if it hurts or if it makes you get all sticky.'
'I'm so high man, I don't think I can take it.'
'It's when you take your finger, and you stick it in a vagina and you stick it again and again.'
'But, what if when I'm trying to put on the nose, the snowman comes alive and tries to kill me?'
'Your mother's been worried sick! And I've been watching TV.'
'James Taylor, what the hell are you doing singing about prostitutes to these children? Get outta here!'
'I was once involved in a drive-by shooting! Whatevah, I do what I want!'
'Having boobs sucks.'
'Don't get cancer on the ladder, Cartman! You're gonna fall off and break it.'
'Stan told me to tell you he thinks you're a cont...cont...cont...you're a cont, cont, cont...'
'Everything is back to normal. I-I think... I think I can go back to trying to destroy the world again.'
'My mom says there's a lot of black people in Africa.'
'Dad, Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!'

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Created Oct 3, 2012ReportNominate
Tags:quote, South Park, eric, kenny, kyle, randy, stan