50 South Park Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these South Park quotes?

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'Dude, this is pretty f**ked up right here.'
'All animals kill, and the animals that don't kill are stupid ones like cows and turtles and stuff.'
'Dad, Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!'
'I was once involved in a drive-by shooting! Whatevah, I do what I want!'
'Yeah. Why we sure gave those skanky bitches what for.'
'But, what if when I'm trying to put on the nose, the snowman comes alive and tries to kill me?'
'Yeah, I could use some goddamn poontang, myself, right now.'
'Your mother's been worried sick! And I've been watching TV.'
'I promise I'll never go on TV with balls on my chin again.'
'Well, your moms are just upset. They’re probably all on their periods or something.'
'There’s a time and a place for everything, and it’s called college.”
'I'm beginning to think that maybe it's wrong to put someone who thinks they're a Vietnamese prostitute on a bull.'
'Hello Muhammad, we've read all aboot you in the Qur'an.'
'This is hopeless. We're just going to have to face that the commercialism has been sucked out of Christmas.'
'I'm gonna make love to your a**hole, children.'
'Mom-m-m, Ben Affleck is naked in my bed!'
'Don't get cancer on the ladder, Cartman! You're gonna fall off and break it.'
'Yeah. You know, we believe in equality for everybody, and tolerance, and all that gay stuff, but dude, f**k you.'
'Everything is back to normal. I-I think... I think I can go back to trying to destroy the world again.'
'My mom says there's a lot of black people in Africa.'
'How would YOU feel, if someone came into your home, m'kay, pulled down their pants and laid a big mud monkey right on your mom's face!'
'Stan told me to tell you he thinks you're a cont...cont...cont...you're a cont, cont, cont...'
'Dude, it's not like terrorism! It is terrorism!'
'You put a guy's wiener in your mouth, that makes you gay, stupid!'
'You go to hell. You go to hell and you die.'
'Butters, remind me to cut your balls off later.'
'Cartman, that's the dumbest thing you've ever said... this week.'
'Having boobs sucks.'
'I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!'
'I'm not drinking and driving, I'm driving while I'm drinking.'
'What the hell is this?! Skinless chicken, boiled vegetables and salad?! This is just like Auschwitz!'
'It's when you take your finger, and you stick it in a vagina and you stick it again and again.'
'Yeah, a hippie and a terrorist is the same thing.'
'Then I was right. Jobe has all his children killed, and Michael Bay gets to keep making movies. There isn't a God.'
'You know what they say: You can't teach a gay dog straight tricks.'
'Well, excuse my French, Mrs. Marsh, but you can suck my fat hairy balls!'
'I'm killing you. Unfortunately I could only afford a wiffle bat so this may take a while.'
'Shawna, I was wondering if I could put my penis in your vagina.'
'Why does nobody believe that I'm serial?'
'I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.'
'James Taylor, what the hell are you doing singing about prostitutes to these children? Get outta here!'
'I don't want to do it if it hurts or if it makes you get all sticky.'
'Have you seen the poop swatches?'
'Yes! I am God of the sea people!'
'Hello, is this customer service? I'm having a problem with my new television: it's sprouted laser guns and started walking around shooting people.'
'Stan, don't you know the first law of physics? Anything that's fun costs at least eight dollars.'
'Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness! Yummy!'
'Ohh. I thought a group of Vietnamese people were getting their intestines pulled out through their mouths.'
'I'm so high man, I don't think I can take it.'
'Chef, what would a priest want to stick up my butt?'

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