50 South Park Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these South Park quotes?

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'How would YOU feel, if someone came into your home, m'kay, pulled down their pants and laid a big mud monkey right on your mom's face!'
'Then I was right. Jobe has all his children killed, and Michael Bay gets to keep making movies. There isn't a God.'
'I'm gonna make love to your a**hole, children.'
'You know what they say: You can't teach a gay dog straight tricks.'
'Cartman, that's the dumbest thing you've ever said... this week.'
'Hello, is this customer service? I'm having a problem with my new television: it's sprouted laser guns and started walking around shooting people.'
'This is hopeless. We're just going to have to face that the commercialism has been sucked out of Christmas.'
'Everything is back to normal. I-I think... I think I can go back to trying to destroy the world again.'
'Stan told me to tell you he thinks you're a cont...cont...cont...you're a cont, cont, cont...'
'I'm killing you. Unfortunately I could only afford a wiffle bat so this may take a while.'
'Have you seen the poop swatches?'
'Stan, don't you know the first law of physics? Anything that's fun costs at least eight dollars.'
'I'm beginning to think that maybe it's wrong to put someone who thinks they're a Vietnamese prostitute on a bull.'
'I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!'
'James Taylor, what the hell are you doing singing about prostitutes to these children? Get outta here!'
'Dude, it's not like terrorism! It is terrorism!'
'Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness! Yummy!'
'I'm not drinking and driving, I'm driving while I'm drinking.'
'Dude, this is pretty f**ked up right here.'
'Yes! I am God of the sea people!'
'I'm so high man, I don't think I can take it.'
'Hello Muhammad, we've read all aboot you in the Qur'an.'
'What the hell is this?! Skinless chicken, boiled vegetables and salad?! This is just like Auschwitz!'
'It's when you take your finger, and you stick it in a vagina and you stick it again and again.'
'I was once involved in a drive-by shooting! Whatevah, I do what I want!'
'Well, your moms are just upset. They’re probably all on their periods or something.'
'Don't get cancer on the ladder, Cartman! You're gonna fall off and break it.'
'Chef, what would a priest want to stick up my butt?'
'You put a guy's wiener in your mouth, that makes you gay, stupid!'
'Ohh. I thought a group of Vietnamese people were getting their intestines pulled out through their mouths.'
'Dad, Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!'
'I don't want to do it if it hurts or if it makes you get all sticky.'
'Why does nobody believe that I'm serial?'
'I promise I'll never go on TV with balls on my chin again.'
'All animals kill, and the animals that don't kill are stupid ones like cows and turtles and stuff.'
'Yeah, I could use some goddamn poontang, myself, right now.'
'Having boobs sucks.'
'Yeah, a hippie and a terrorist is the same thing.'
'Shawna, I was wondering if I could put my penis in your vagina.'
'Mom-m-m, Ben Affleck is naked in my bed!'
'My mom says there's a lot of black people in Africa.'
'Yeah. Why we sure gave those skanky bitches what for.'
'You go to hell. You go to hell and you die.'
'Butters, remind me to cut your balls off later.'
'There’s a time and a place for everything, and it’s called college.”
'Your mother's been worried sick! And I've been watching TV.'
'I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.'
'But, what if when I'm trying to put on the nose, the snowman comes alive and tries to kill me?'
'Well, excuse my French, Mrs. Marsh, but you can suck my fat hairy balls!'
'Yeah. You know, we believe in equality for everybody, and tolerance, and all that gay stuff, but dude, f**k you.'

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Created Oct 3, 2012ReportNominate
Tags:quote, South Park, eric, kenny, kyle, randy, stan