50 South Park Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these South Park quotes?

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'Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness! Yummy!'
'Cartman, that's the dumbest thing you've ever said... this week.'
'Shawna, I was wondering if I could put my penis in your vagina.'
'Hello Muhammad, we've read all aboot you in the Qur'an.'
'You go to hell. You go to hell and you die.'
'Everything is back to normal. I-I think... I think I can go back to trying to destroy the world again.'
'Ohh. I thought a group of Vietnamese people were getting their intestines pulled out through their mouths.'
'Dude, this is pretty f**ked up right here.'
'Why does nobody believe that I'm serial?'
'Stan told me to tell you he thinks you're a cont...cont...cont...you're a cont, cont, cont...'
'Yeah. You know, we believe in equality for everybody, and tolerance, and all that gay stuff, but dude, f**k you.'
'Stan, don't you know the first law of physics? Anything that's fun costs at least eight dollars.'
'All animals kill, and the animals that don't kill are stupid ones like cows and turtles and stuff.'
'Well, excuse my French, Mrs. Marsh, but you can suck my fat hairy balls!'
'Yeah, I could use some goddamn poontang, myself, right now.'
'Having boobs sucks.'
'My mom says there's a lot of black people in Africa.'
'This is hopeless. We're just going to have to face that the commercialism has been sucked out of Christmas.'
'I promise I'll never go on TV with balls on my chin again.'
'Yes! I am God of the sea people!'
'Have you seen the poop swatches?'
'I'm not drinking and driving, I'm driving while I'm drinking.'
'Yeah, a hippie and a terrorist is the same thing.'
'You know what they say: You can't teach a gay dog straight tricks.'
'How would YOU feel, if someone came into your home, m'kay, pulled down their pants and laid a big mud monkey right on your mom's face!'
'I don't want to do it if it hurts or if it makes you get all sticky.'
'You put a guy's wiener in your mouth, that makes you gay, stupid!'
'Yeah. Why we sure gave those skanky bitches what for.'
'Dude, it's not like terrorism! It is terrorism!'
'I'm beginning to think that maybe it's wrong to put someone who thinks they're a Vietnamese prostitute on a bull.'
'I'm so high man, I don't think I can take it.'
'Your mother's been worried sick! And I've been watching TV.'
'What the hell is this?! Skinless chicken, boiled vegetables and salad?! This is just like Auschwitz!'
'I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!'
'I'm gonna make love to your a**hole, children.'
'I was once involved in a drive-by shooting! Whatevah, I do what I want!'
'Then I was right. Jobe has all his children killed, and Michael Bay gets to keep making movies. There isn't a God.'
'I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.'
'Chef, what would a priest want to stick up my butt?'
'Well, your moms are just upset. They’re probably all on their periods or something.'
'But, what if when I'm trying to put on the nose, the snowman comes alive and tries to kill me?'
'There’s a time and a place for everything, and it’s called college.”
'Dad, Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!'
'It's when you take your finger, and you stick it in a vagina and you stick it again and again.'
'Butters, remind me to cut your balls off later.'
'Mom-m-m, Ben Affleck is naked in my bed!'
'Hello, is this customer service? I'm having a problem with my new television: it's sprouted laser guns and started walking around shooting people.'
'James Taylor, what the hell are you doing singing about prostitutes to these children? Get outta here!'
'I'm killing you. Unfortunately I could only afford a wiffle bat so this may take a while.'
'Don't get cancer on the ladder, Cartman! You're gonna fall off and break it.'

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