50 South Park Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these South Park quotes?

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'Ohh. I thought a group of Vietnamese people were getting their intestines pulled out through their mouths.'
'Have you seen the poop swatches?'
'I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.'
'Mom-m-m, Ben Affleck is naked in my bed!'
'Dude, this is pretty f**ked up right here.'
'You know what they say: You can't teach a gay dog straight tricks.'
'I was once involved in a drive-by shooting! Whatevah, I do what I want!'
'Butters, remind me to cut your balls off later.'
'Dude, it's not like terrorism! It is terrorism!'
'Chef, what would a priest want to stick up my butt?'
'Having boobs sucks.'
'I'm not drinking and driving, I'm driving while I'm drinking.'
'I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!'
'James Taylor, what the hell are you doing singing about prostitutes to these children? Get outta here!'
'Stan, don't you know the first law of physics? Anything that's fun costs at least eight dollars.'
'This is hopeless. We're just going to have to face that the commercialism has been sucked out of Christmas.'
'There’s a time and a place for everything, and it’s called college.”
'Well, your moms are just upset. They’re probably all on their periods or something.'
'My mom says there's a lot of black people in Africa.'
'I'm beginning to think that maybe it's wrong to put someone who thinks they're a Vietnamese prostitute on a bull.'
'You go to hell. You go to hell and you die.'
'You put a guy's wiener in your mouth, that makes you gay, stupid!'
'All animals kill, and the animals that don't kill are stupid ones like cows and turtles and stuff.'
'Yes! I am God of the sea people!'
'But, what if when I'm trying to put on the nose, the snowman comes alive and tries to kill me?'
'Don't get cancer on the ladder, Cartman! You're gonna fall off and break it.'
'I'm so high man, I don't think I can take it.'
'Stan told me to tell you he thinks you're a cont...cont...cont...you're a cont, cont, cont...'
'Yeah. You know, we believe in equality for everybody, and tolerance, and all that gay stuff, but dude, f**k you.'
'Then I was right. Jobe has all his children killed, and Michael Bay gets to keep making movies. There isn't a God.'
'I'm killing you. Unfortunately I could only afford a wiffle bat so this may take a while.'
'Yeah. Why we sure gave those skanky bitches what for.'
'Everything is back to normal. I-I think... I think I can go back to trying to destroy the world again.'
'Well, excuse my French, Mrs. Marsh, but you can suck my fat hairy balls!'
'I promise I'll never go on TV with balls on my chin again.'
'Your mother's been worried sick! And I've been watching TV.'
'Hello, is this customer service? I'm having a problem with my new television: it's sprouted laser guns and started walking around shooting people.'
'Yeah, I could use some goddamn poontang, myself, right now.'
'Yeah, a hippie and a terrorist is the same thing.'
'What the hell is this?! Skinless chicken, boiled vegetables and salad?! This is just like Auschwitz!'
'Why does nobody believe that I'm serial?'
'It's when you take your finger, and you stick it in a vagina and you stick it again and again.'
'How would YOU feel, if someone came into your home, m'kay, pulled down their pants and laid a big mud monkey right on your mom's face!'
'Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness! Yummy!'
'Dad, Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!'
'I don't want to do it if it hurts or if it makes you get all sticky.'
'Hello Muhammad, we've read all aboot you in the Qur'an.'
'Cartman, that's the dumbest thing you've ever said... this week.'
'I'm gonna make love to your a**hole, children.'
'Shawna, I was wondering if I could put my penis in your vagina.'

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Created Oct 3, 2012ReportNominate
Tags:quote, South Park, eric, kenny, kyle, randy, stan