50 South Park Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these South Park quotes?

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'Well, excuse my French, Mrs. Marsh, but you can suck my fat hairy balls!'
'Don't get cancer on the ladder, Cartman! You're gonna fall off and break it.'
'Well, your moms are just upset. They’re probably all on their periods or something.'
'I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!'
'But, what if when I'm trying to put on the nose, the snowman comes alive and tries to kill me?'
'Yeah. You know, we believe in equality for everybody, and tolerance, and all that gay stuff, but dude, f**k you.'
'Then I was right. Jobe has all his children killed, and Michael Bay gets to keep making movies. There isn't a God.'
'I'm killing you. Unfortunately I could only afford a wiffle bat so this may take a while.'
'All animals kill, and the animals that don't kill are stupid ones like cows and turtles and stuff.'
'Stan, don't you know the first law of physics? Anything that's fun costs at least eight dollars.'
'I promise I'll never go on TV with balls on my chin again.'
'I don't want to do it if it hurts or if it makes you get all sticky.'
'James Taylor, what the hell are you doing singing about prostitutes to these children? Get outta here!'
'Yeah, I could use some goddamn poontang, myself, right now.'
'Your mother's been worried sick! And I've been watching TV.'
'Ohh. I thought a group of Vietnamese people were getting their intestines pulled out through their mouths.'
'Why does nobody believe that I'm serial?'
'What the hell is this?! Skinless chicken, boiled vegetables and salad?! This is just like Auschwitz!'
'Shawna, I was wondering if I could put my penis in your vagina.'
'I was once involved in a drive-by shooting! Whatevah, I do what I want!'
'Having boobs sucks.'
'I'm not drinking and driving, I'm driving while I'm drinking.'
'Everything is back to normal. I-I think... I think I can go back to trying to destroy the world again.'
'You know what they say: You can't teach a gay dog straight tricks.'
'Dude, this is pretty f**ked up right here.'
'There’s a time and a place for everything, and it’s called college.”
'Have you seen the poop swatches?'
'It's when you take your finger, and you stick it in a vagina and you stick it again and again.'
'My mom says there's a lot of black people in Africa.'
'This is hopeless. We're just going to have to face that the commercialism has been sucked out of Christmas.'
'You go to hell. You go to hell and you die.'
'Dad, Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!'
'Yeah. Why we sure gave those skanky bitches what for.'
'Dude, it's not like terrorism! It is terrorism!'
'How would YOU feel, if someone came into your home, m'kay, pulled down their pants and laid a big mud monkey right on your mom's face!'
'I'm so high man, I don't think I can take it.'
'I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.'
'Stan told me to tell you he thinks you're a cont...cont...cont...you're a cont, cont, cont...'
'Butters, remind me to cut your balls off later.'
'Cartman, that's the dumbest thing you've ever said... this week.'
'Yes! I am God of the sea people!'
'I'm gonna make love to your a**hole, children.'
'Hello, is this customer service? I'm having a problem with my new television: it's sprouted laser guns and started walking around shooting people.'
'Yeah, a hippie and a terrorist is the same thing.'
'Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness! Yummy!'
'Mom-m-m, Ben Affleck is naked in my bed!'
'I'm beginning to think that maybe it's wrong to put someone who thinks they're a Vietnamese prostitute on a bull.'
'You put a guy's wiener in your mouth, that makes you gay, stupid!'
'Hello Muhammad, we've read all aboot you in the Qur'an.'
'Chef, what would a priest want to stick up my butt?'

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Created Oct 3, 2012ReportNominate
Tags:quote, South Park, eric, kenny, kyle, randy, stan