100 Simpsons Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these quotes?

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QuoteCharacter
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'I'm a furniture!'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love...ly rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
'They taste like burning...'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
QuoteCharacter
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
QuoteCharacter
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'Daddy.'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'

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