100 Simpsons Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these quotes?

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'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'They taste like burning...'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love...ly rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'I'm a furniture!'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'

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