100 Simpsons Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these quotes?

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QuoteCharacter
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
QuoteCharacter
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'Daddy.'
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'
'I'm a furniture!'
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
QuoteCharacter
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'
'They taste like burning...'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love...ly rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'

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