100 Simpsons Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these quotes?

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QuoteCharacter
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'I'm a furniture!'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'
QuoteCharacter
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love...ly rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
'Daddy.'
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'They taste like burning...'
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
QuoteCharacter
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'

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