100 Simpsons Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these quotes?

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'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'I'm a furniture!'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love...ly rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'They taste like burning...'
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'

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