100 Simpsons Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these quotes?

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QuoteCharacter
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
QuoteCharacter
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love...ly rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'I'm a furniture!'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
QuoteCharacter
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
'Daddy.'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'They taste like burning...'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'

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