100 Simpsons Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these quotes?

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QuoteCharacter
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'They taste like burning...'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'I'm a furniture!'
QuoteCharacter
'Daddy.'
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love...ly rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
QuoteCharacter
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'

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