100 Simpsons Quotes

Random Television or cartoons Quiz

Can you name the character who said these quotes?

Quiz not verified by Sporcle

How to Play
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
'I'm a furniture!'
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love...ly rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'They taste like burning...'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.

You're not logged in!

Compare scores with friends on all Sporcle quizzes.
Sign Up with Email
Log In

You Might Also Like...

Show Comments