100 Simpsons Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these quotes?

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QuoteCharacter
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'They taste like burning...'
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'
QuoteCharacter
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
QuoteCharacter
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'I'm a furniture!'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love...ly rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'Daddy.'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'

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