100 Simpsons Quotes

Random Television or The Simpsons Quiz

Can you name the character who said these quotes?

Quiz not verified by Sporcle

How to Play
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love...ly rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
'They taste like burning...'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'I'm a furniture!'
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'

Friend Scores

  Player Best Score Plays Last Played
You You haven't played this game yet.

You Might Also Like...