100 Simpsons Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these quotes?

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'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
'I'm a furniture!'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love...ly rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'They taste like burning...'
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'

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