100 Simpsons Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these quotes?

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QuoteCharacter
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
'Daddy.'
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
QuoteCharacter
'I'm a furniture!'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'They taste like burning...'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love...ly rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
QuoteCharacter
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'

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