100 Simpsons Quotes

Random Television or The Simpsons Quiz

Can you name the character who said these quotes?

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QuoteCharacter
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'I'm a furniture!'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'Daddy.'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
QuoteCharacter
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
QuoteCharacter
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love...ly rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
'They taste like burning...'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.

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