100 Simpsons Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these quotes?

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QuoteCharacter
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'I'm a furniture!'
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'Daddy.'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
QuoteCharacter
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
QuoteCharacter
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'They taste like burning...'
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love...ly rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'You gotta nuke somethin'

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