100 Simpsons Quotes

Random Television or quote Quiz

Can you name the character who said these quotes?

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QuoteCharacter
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'Daddy.'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love...ly rope ladders in case of a fire.'
QuoteCharacter
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'
'I'm a furniture!'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
QuoteCharacter
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'They taste like burning...'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'

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