100 Simpsons Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these quotes?

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QuoteCharacter
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'I'm a furniture!'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'Daddy.'
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
QuoteCharacter
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
QuoteCharacter
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love...ly rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'They taste like burning...'
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.

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