100 Simpsons Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these quotes?

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QuoteCharacter
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'I'm a furniture!'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
QuoteCharacter
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love...ly rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
QuoteCharacter
'Daddy.'
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'They taste like burning...'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'

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