100 Simpsons Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these quotes?

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'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love...ly rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'They taste like burning...'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'I'm a furniture!'
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'

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