100 Simpsons Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these quotes?

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'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love...ly rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'They taste like burning...'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
'I'm a furniture!'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'

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