100 Simpsons Quotes

Random Television or The Simpsons Quiz

Can you name the character who said these quotes?

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'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love...ly rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'I'm a furniture!'
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
'They taste like burning...'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'

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