100 Simpsons Quotes

Random Television or quote Quiz

Can you name the character who said these quotes?

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'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'I'm a furniture!'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love...ly rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
'They taste like burning...'
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'

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