100 Simpsons Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these quotes?

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'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'I'm a furniture!'
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love...ly rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'They taste like burning...'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'

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