100 Simpsons Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these quotes?

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QuoteCharacter
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love...ly rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'Daddy.'
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
QuoteCharacter
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'They taste like burning...'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'I'm a furniture!'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
QuoteCharacter
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'

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