100 Simpsons Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these quotes?

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'I'm a furniture!'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love...ly rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
'They taste like burning...'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'

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