100 Simpsons Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these quotes?

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QuoteCharacter
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love...ly rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
QuoteCharacter
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
QuoteCharacter
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
'They taste like burning...'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'
'I'm a furniture!'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'
'Daddy.'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'

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