100 Simpsons Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these quotes?

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QuoteCharacter
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'They taste like burning...'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
QuoteCharacter
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'I'm a furniture!'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love...ly rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
QuoteCharacter
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'
'Daddy.'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'

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