100 Simpsons Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these quotes?

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QuoteCharacter
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'Daddy.'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'I'm a furniture!'
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'They taste like burning...'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
QuoteCharacter
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
QuoteCharacter
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love...ly rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'

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