100 Simpsons Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these quotes?

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QuoteCharacter
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
'They taste like burning...'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
QuoteCharacter
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love...ly rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
QuoteCharacter
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'Daddy.'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'I'm a furniture!'
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'

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