100 Simpsons Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these quotes?

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QuoteCharacter
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
QuoteCharacter
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'They taste like burning...'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'Daddy.'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'I'm a furniture!'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love...ly rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
QuoteCharacter
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'

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