100 Simpsons Quotes

Random Television or The Simpsons Quiz

Can you name the character who said these quotes?

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'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'I'm a furniture!'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'They taste like burning...'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love...ly rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
'You, sir, are an idiot.'

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