100 Simpsons Quotes

Random Television or The Simpsons Quiz

Can you name the character who said these quotes?

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QuoteCharacter
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'Daddy.'
'They taste like burning...'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
QuoteCharacter
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'I'm a furniture!'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
QuoteCharacter
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love...ly rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'

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