100 Simpsons Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these quotes?

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'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'They taste like burning...'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love...ly rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'I'm a furniture!'
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'

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