Oh, careful Homer!
S1 E1 Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire

There's no time to be careful, we're late.
S1 E1 Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire

Ha ha, wasn't that wonderful? And now, 'Santas of Many Lands' as presented by the entire 2nd Grade class.
S1 E1 Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire

Merii Kurisumasu, I am Hotei-osho, a Japanese priest who acts like Santa Claus.
S1 E1 Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire

And now, Lisa Simpson, as Tawanga the Santa Claus of the South Seas.
S1 E1 Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire

Rushing through the snow, on a one horse open sleigh... (sings rest of 'Jingle Bells' with some alternative lyrics)
S1 E1 Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire

But I really want a pony and I've been really, really good this year.
S1 E1 Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire

Marge, please.
S1 E1 Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire

Just hold your horses son. Heyhey! Simpson.
S1 E1 Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire

Attention all personnel, please keep working during the following announcement:
S1 E1 Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire

Hello? I'm proud to announce that we've been able to increase safety here at the plant without increasing costs to the consumer or affecting management pay raises.
S1 E1 Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire

Hey, Mr. Simpson? You dropped your pork chop.
S1 E1 Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire

What's the matter Homer? Someone leave a lump of coal in your stocking? You've been sitting there sucking on a beer all day long.
S1 E1 Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire

Drinks all around!
S1 E1 Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire

Get a load of that quote, unquote santa.
S1 E1 Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire

I can't believe those kids are falling for it.
S1 E1 Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire

Oh brother.
S1 E1 Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire

Where's your husband?
S1 E1 Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire

Principal Skinner! One of my fellow children is vandalising school property!
S1 E2 Bart The Genius

Now I don't want you to worry class, these tests will have no effect on your grades. They merely determine your future social status and financial success...if any.
S1 E2 Bart The Genius

Oh, on the contrary. I have some very exciting news for all of us. This aptitude test that was administered this morning has revealed that young Bart here is what we call...
S1 E2 Bart The Genius

Err, sorry little dudes, party hardy equals tardy.
S1 E3 Homer's Odyssey

Please try not to shake the seat like that!
S1 E3 Homer's Odyssey

We're gonna make you sing Bart Simpson.
S1 E3 Homer's Odyssey

Yeah Bart Simpson we're gonna make you sing.
S1 E3 Homer's Odyssey

Well, our city is under siege by a graffiti band only known as El Barto. Police artists have compiled a sketch of the culprit, if anyone has any information please contact us...
S1 E3 Homer's Odyssey

Evening Moe.
S1 E4 There's No Disgrace Like Home

Good one, Moe. Er listen, we're looking for a family of peeping toms that's been terrorising the neighborhood.
S1 E4 There's No Disgrace Like Home

Hi friends, I'm (character name). Does this scene look familiar? Ha, if so I can help. No gimics, no pills, no fad diets just family bliss or double your money back. So call today!
S1 E4 There's No Disgrace Like Home

Nah, happens all the time, someone else's blood splatters on me. Hey, wait a minute, you're right. You made me bleed my own blood.
S1 E5 Bart The General

Simpson, gimme your newspaper.
S1 E5 Bart The General

Come on, Lise, what are you waiting for? Chuck your spaghetti!
S1 E6 Moaning Lisa

It's a little tune that I called 'The I Never Had An Italian Suit Blues'.
S1 E6 Moaning Lisa

Wait, Margie. Before you go out that door let's put our happy face on. Because people know how good a Mommy you have by the size of your smile.
S1 E6 Moaning Lisa

Look! Now we got 'em.
S1 E8 The Telltale Head

I'm sorry, but the answer is no.
S1 E8 The Telltale Head

Hey, hotdog!
S1 E8 The Telltale Head

Oh yeah? Well, do it again.
S1 E8 The Telltale Head

Psst. Coast is clear.
S1 E8 The Telltale Head

Okay, but don't you kids take anything. I'm watching you, I've got eyes in the back of my head...$4.52.
S1 E8 The Telltale Head

My head.
S1 E8 The Telltale Head

There's someone out there in Krustyland who has committed an atrocity. If you know who cut off Jebediah's head, I don't care if it's your brother, your sister, your daddy...
S1 E8 The Telltale Head

So, 120 pins later, I am the better man.
S1 E9 Life On The Fast Lane

Marge? Marge Simpson? You remember me don't you? I'm (character name), the gossipy wife of the minister.
S1 E9 Life On The Fast Lane

Ain't ya hungry Homer?
S1 E9 Life On The Fast Lane

Hey don't worry. Things are gonna pick up once the entertainment gets here.
S1 E10 Homer's Night Out

Care to dance?
S1 E10 Homer's Night Out

I've heard them say so often, they could love their wives alone. But I just think that's just foolish, men must...(sings rest of 'I Could Love A Million Girls')
S1 E10 Homer's Night Out

You certainly have done well for yourself, Spanky.
S1 E11 The Crepes Of Wrath

Ow, my foot you lousy, stupid, clumsy...hand over all your money in a paper bag.
S1 E12 Krusty Gets Busted

Good evening, I'm (character name). Kent Brockman is off tonight. Why did the clown cross the road? To rob a kwik-e-mart. The news story behind that enigmatic half joke right...
S1 E12 Krusty Gets Busted

Good evening again Springfield. Krusty The Clown, the beloved idol of countless tots, now nothing more than a common alleged criminal. His trial which begins tomorrow has taken...
S1 E12 Krusty Gets Busted

Krusty The Clown, how do you plead?
S1 E12 Krusty Gets Busted

Yes, I am (character name).
S1 E13 Some Enchanted Evening

I hereby declare this day to be 'Snow Day', the funnest day in the history of Springfield!
S2 E1 Bart Gets An F

Greetings Earthlings, I am (character name). Do not be frightened we mean you no harm.
S2 E3 Treehouse Of Horror

Come Earthlings, eat. Grow large with food.
S2 E3 Treehouse Of Horror

Hello, spongecake. I thought you boys might be hungry so I whipped up some club sandwiches.
S2 E6 Dead Putting Society

When's Todd's solo, dad?
S2 E8 Bart The Daredevil

Mrs Simpson, Bart tells me that he injured himself training for a career in 'Death Defying'?
S2 E8 Bart The Daredevil

Take a letter, Ms White: Dear valued viewer, thank you for taking an interest in the Itcy & Scratchy program. Enclosed is a personally autographed photo...
S2 E9 Itchy And Scratchy And Marge

(character name) is the name Mr. Simpson. (character name) Attorney at Law. Here's my card, it turns into a sponge when you put it in water.
S2 E10 Bart Gets Hit By A Car

Bad news. Your son is a very sick boy. Just look at the X-Rays. See that dark spot there? Whiplash.
S2 E10 Bart Gets Hit By A Car

Your honor, my client has asked me to remind the court how rich and important he is, and that he is not like other men.
S2 E10 Bart Gets Hit By A Car

I am (character name) your waiter. May I take your order?
S2 E11 One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish

But Captain, I have proof that he's head of an international drugs cartel.
S2 E12 The Way We Was

Well, well, well. If it isn't Homer Simpson & Barney Gumble, Springfield's answer to Cheech & Chong. Allow me gentleman. You just bought yourselves 3 days of detention...
S2 E12 The Way We Was

Woe unto Shelbyville should they underestimate our strength & dramatic interpretation.
S2 E12 The Way We Was

You know, I usually insist on approving Marge's dates, but from what she's told me, I'm sure you're a solid citizen.
S2 E12 The Way We Was

Hey buddy, where's your date?
S2 E12 The Way We Was

Hello, I'm (character name). You may remember me from such movies as 'Cry Yuma' & 'Here Comes The Coastguard'
S2 E13 Homer Vs. Lisa And The 8th Commandment

Yes, I would also like to dedicate this fight to the memory of his deceased manager.
S2 E13 Homer Vs. Lisa And The 8th Commandment

F, L, oh no I'm sorry, that's a C isn't it?
S2 E14 Principal Charming

Save your strength, lad. There's a whole field for you to resod, yet.
S2 E14 Principal Charming

Abe, I want Homer to grow up respecting his father. He must never know about that, that Carnival incident.
S2 E15 Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?

Hello?
S2 E15 Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?

Why it's a death ray my good man, behold!
S2 E17 Old Money

Children, I won't be staying long. I just came from the Doctor & I have Lyme Disease. Principal Skinner will run the class until a suitable substitue arrives.
S2 E19 Lisa's Substitute

Tell you what. I'll show you something very special if you promise to put your grubby little hands behind your back and keep 'em there.
S2 E21 Three Men And A Comic Book

A comic book? Oh my, boys never change. Which one is it: 'Nazi Smasher'?
S2 E21 Three Men And A Comic Book