| Opening line | Sitcom |
| To Ganymede and Titan, yes sir, I've been around | |
| Ninety eight quid? Hey. Ninety eight quid. 'It's good to talk' my arse! | |
| That was Joni Mitchell, with Big Yellow Taxi. | |
| I don't give ****ty jobs. | |
| That Sidney Potter's a good actor. Ain't he, Rodney? | |
| Three new arrivals, Mr Leech. | |
| Stop it! Everyone's looking at me! | |
| Oh yeah, I left your teabag in. | |
| One double room without bath, the 16th, 17th and 18th. | |
| History has known many great liars. | |
| | Opening line | Sitcom |
| And so ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to introduce our guest of honour. | |
| Right, that's Tuesday dealt with. Let's take a look at Wednesday now. | |
| That was brilliant! Shame about Cliff Richard... | |
| Why? I just...I don't understand. Is it something I've done? | |
| Oh, my lovely Liam. My lovely Liam. My lovely Liam. | |
| Twenty six years sitting behind a reception desk. What must that do to a man's brain? | |
| The wrath of the king was mighty and knew no bounds, and so they did leave that country and did with heavy heart return unto Japheth. | |
| I trust the food was to your satisfaction, Colonel? | |
| Is that the best you can do, Miss Brahms? | |
| This is ****ing wicked. I'm almost definitely a musical genius. | |
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