These pooches are not gonna need any primping, because I bathed them and I clipped them myself. And I stand by my performance.

Sir, you can't go in there!

Hi, Lloyd. -Hi, Harry. -How was your day?

So you got fired again, huh?

What's in it? -Man, I'd have to be a lowlife to go rooting around in somebody else's private property. -Is it locked?

Maybe we should trash the place, send him a little message.

Hey I guess they're right. Senior citizens although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose. I'll be right back, don't you go dyin on me. -Where's the booze?

I've had it with this dump! We got no food, we got no jobs...

Some place warm, a place where the beer flows like wine. Where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I'm talkin about a little place called Aspen.

I can't believe we drove around all day and there is not a single job in this town. There's nothin, nada, zip.

'Gas Man.' How the hell do they know I got gas?

What's the soup du jour? -It's the soup of the day.

Pull over. Pull over!

What happened, Harry? Some little filly break your heart?

I thought we were gonna be together forever and then about a week later, right out of the blue, she sends me a John Deere letter. -She give you any reason?

Did you get a make on the vehicle?

Huh. I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.

Traded the van for it, straight up. I can get 70 miles to the gallon on this hog.

Look at the butt on that!

Maybe it's on the briefcase, look on the...

You've had this pair of extra gloves this whole time?

I'm ready for a commitment, Harry. The first time I set eyes on Mary Swanson, I just got that old-fashioned, romantic feeling, where I'd do anything to bone her.

Nice set of hooters you got there. -I beg your pardon?

No way! That's great!

Bartender, you wouldn't happen to know a Mary Swanson, would you? -Mary Swanson? Yeah, she comes in here all the time.

So you'll pick me up tonight at 7:45?

Why would she have you meet her at a bar at 10 in the morning?

You mean not good like 1 out of 100? -I'd say more like one out of a million.

Husband? Wait a minute...

Harry! You're alive!