| 5 Word Review | Game |
| The cake is a lie. | |
| It’s dangerous to go alone! | |
| Sephiroth kills SPOILER; everybody cry. | |
| Apes love insane barrel cannons. | |
| Snake! What happened? Snake! SNAAAAAKE! | |
| Evil angels are WHOA BOOBS! | |
| How’d a Slime kill me? | |
| Ode to Joy; effing unicorn! | |
| You have to brake, moron. | |
| Not another effing Flood level! | |
| Princess rescued within the hour. | |
| Ryu wins, but doesn’t care. | |
| Quit calling me about TEETEES! | |
| Updates clog Facebook’s news feed. | |
| Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka. | |
| Trapped in a corner. F**k. | |
| Red, green, yellow... five hours!?!? | |