| Quotation | Character who said it |
| Cockburn, from now on my fist is going to be so far up your sh*thole that every time you have a thought, it's gonna have to tiptoe past my wedding ring... | |
| This goes to the chopper, and the chopper only, the chopper is God, and I am Jesus Christ; his son. | |
| That's it! I'm going into catering after this! | |
| Mother nature just p*ssed her pantsuit! | |
| Suck my unit. | |
| I’ll cradle the balls…stroke the shaft…work the pipe…and swallow the gravy. | |
| You m-m-m-mmm-m-make me happy. | |
| You spank that a** Les! | |
| Beds give me nightmares. | |
| A hooker! Oh Jesus, you killing a hooker! | |
| | Quotation | Character who said it |
| I'm a rooster illusion. | |
| Drink Booty Sweat, baby! Drink Booty Sweat! | |
| I know what dude I am. I'm the dude playing the dude, disguised as another dude | |
| Wow! The insecurity level with you guys is ridiculous! | |
| Welcome to the goodie room! | |
| Hell yeah! Ha! That's how we all talk? We all talk like dis, 'suh'? Yes suh, ha! Yeah mmm-hmm get some crawfish, and some ribs, ha! Ye-aah. You're Australian! Be Australian! Excuse | |
| I don't wanna die like Hendrix man! | |
| I got the TiVo! | |
| You perform! You perform or die! | |
| Speedman is a dying star. A white dwarf headed for a black hole. That's physics. It's inevitable. | |
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