| Movie Line | Movie | Character |
| You are the kind of club-toting, raw-meat-eating, Me-Tarzan-You-Jane-ing, big, bald bubblehead that can only count to ten if he's barefoot or wearing sandals. | |
| When I was born, the world was a far simpler place. It was all just cops and robbers. | |
| I'll tell you what. Why don't we take all these bricks and build a shelter for the homeless, so maybe your mother will have a place to stay. | |
| Men are haunted by the vastness of eternity. And so we ask ourselves: will our actions echo across the centuries? Will strangers hear our names long after we are gone... | |
| Just when I thought you couldn't possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this... and totally redeem yourself! | |
| 'Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs...' | |
| What's wrong, Jayboy? Don't got no hair on your inch worm yet? | |
| I wish I could say something classy and inspirational, but that just wouldn't be our style. Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory... lasts forever. | |
| | Movie Line | Movie | Character |
| Off the top of my head, I'd say you're looking at a Boeski, a Jim Brown, a Miss Daisy, two Jethros and a Leon Spinks, not to mention the biggest Ella Fitzgerald ever. | |
| Checkov? Well, this here's McCoy. We find a Spock, we got us an away team. | |
| What we do in life echoes in eternity. | |
| It was like a message from God: 'Honesty doesn't pay, sucker.' | |
| Random thoughts for Valentine's day, 2004. Today is a holiday invented by greeting card companies to make people feel like crap. | |
| The first day of spring semester. A time to say goodbye to the parents once again, and say hello to a few new student bodies. | |
| Let me tell you what 'Like a Virgin' is about. It's all about a girl who digs a guy with a big dick. The entire song. It's a metaphor for big dicks. | |
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