| FML | Character |
| Today I was fired because I'm afraid of heights. I need some butterbeer. FML. | |
| Today was my birthday. I celebrated with candy, mead, and a trip to the hospital wing. FML. | |
| Today Olive Hornby made fun of my glasses. I was so upset, I ran to the loo to cry. FML. | |
| Today a 3rd year was disrespectful to me, so I retaliated. Now they want to chop my head off over it. FML. | |
| Today something happened and now I don't know who I am. FML | |
| Today a handsome young man (who's very fond of me) came to visit. I showed him my family's cup and a fantastic locket. He seemed a little disturbed. FML. | |
| Today I made a new friend named Tom who writes back to me in my diary. He's so understanding. FML. | |
| Today I stole my mother's diadem because I wanted to be wiser. I don't think it worked so well. FML. | |
| | FML | Character |
| Today I had definitive proof against my boss's enemies. I ended up in the clutches of some horrible half-breeds. FML. | |
| Today, after a year on the run, I took refuge in a shack in Northern Britain. Seems safe enough. FML. | |
| Today I found out that my arch enemy and the love of my life were killed. On the plus side, I can now perform a patronus. FML. | |
| Today I went to the hospital wing to find out what was going on. I ended up stuck in an unbreakable jar. FML. | |
| Today my brother made a joke. I'm pretty sure the world ended. FML. | |
| Today I made a new friend who agrees with me that wizards are way superior to muggles. We're totally going to be BFF's forever. FML. | |
| Today my master wanted to borrow a house-elf and I volunteered mine. This should bring me glory and honor. FML. | |
| Today I discovered that I have to die. At least I finally know the truth. FML. | |
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