| Quote | Artist | Song |
| To all the fellas out there with ladies to impress, it's easy to do just follow these steps. | |
| It's perfectly normal, nothing wrong with me. But we're gonna need a cleanup on aisle 3. | |
| I got hepatitis c from horse, but no confusion, JEAH! It wasn't from the sex it was a blood transfusion | |
| I got my digital camera, I'mma make your mama do a million poses | |
| Never thought I'd be on a boat, its a big, blue watery road. Poseidon look at me! | |
| It's all about the Hamiltons baby! | |
| So this one's dedicated to them girls, who let us flop around on top of them | |
| | Quote | Artist | Song |
| He's the pauper of the surf, the jester of Tortuga | |
| When I was in Harvard I smoked weed every day, I cheated every test and snorted all the yay | |
| This was a cautionary tale. A boombox is not a toy! | |
| As they disrobed I was oogling and ogling. Little did they know that for me they were modeling | |
| Hanging like my nuts | |
| And when he blew into that horn all the people gathered 'round. Club manager jumped right up and said, 'Boy, I gotta have that sound' | |
| Chex Mix, you're the only snack for me. You're the only one i'll ever eat | |
| | Quote | Artist | Song |
| The fatter, the fluffier the puffier the bigger the turtleneck the more gangsta it is | |
| Oh no! Oh no! He pissed himself! | |
| Come home, and in my arms you'll stay | |
| You guys are still here | |
| Cool guys don't look at explosions, they stride away in their diamond covered boots | |
| Mr. Samberg, thanks for coming to your performance review* | |
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