AVPM/AVPS Quotes

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Can you name the character that says these AVPM/AVPS quotes?

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QuoteCharacter
What the hell is a Hufflepuff?
I WANT HERMIONE GRANGER! And a rocketship,
Accio Double Stuff!
Oh my Rowling! What happened Harry Potter?
Well, the medallion says that's dumb, so we're not going to do that.
You are acting like Garfield on a Monday.
That sucked royal hippogriff.
QuoteCharacter
Hufflepuffs are particularly good finders.
Coward! Ten points from Gryffindor!
Ughh...now two people are mad at me!
Dumbledore? Pfft! What an old coot! He's nothing like Rumbleroar. Rumbleroar is the Headmaster at Pigfarts. He's a lion. Who can talk.
Red Vines - what the hell can't they do?
SIRIUS BLAAACK! SIRIUS BLAAA- oh, checkmate! SIRIUS BLAAAACK!
Well you didn't text me back

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