| Quote | Character |
| What the hell is a Hufflepuff? | |
| I WANT HERMIONE GRANGER! And a rocketship, | |
| Accio Double Stuff! | |
| Oh my Rowling! What happened Harry Potter? | |
| Well, the medallion says that's dumb, so we're not going to do that. | |
| You are acting like Garfield on a Monday. | |
| That sucked royal hippogriff. | |
| | Quote | Character |
| Hufflepuffs are particularly good finders. | |
| Coward! Ten points from Gryffindor! | |
| Ughh...now two people are mad at me! | |
| Dumbledore? Pfft! What an old coot! He's nothing like Rumbleroar. Rumbleroar is the Headmaster at Pigfarts. He's a lion. Who can talk. | |
| Red Vines - what the hell can't they do? | |
| SIRIUS BLAAACK! SIRIUS BLAAA- oh, checkmate! SIRIUS BLAAAACK! | |
| Well you didn't text me back | |
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