He put my stuff in Jell-O again!

Try my googi, googi.

A uterus is different from a vagina. I still have a vagina.

I think if I had a catchphrase it would be, 'You're hired, and you can work here as long as you want.'

I will use your talents come baseball season, my friend. Or if we box.

You are, uh you're like the new and improved Pam. Pam 6.0.

I Xeroxed her driver's license and she is not welcome to this restaurant chain ever again.

I am Upper Management. And it would be inappropriate for me to take a bath with Pam. As much as I might want to.

A thirty year mortgage at Michael's age essentially means that he's buying a coffin.

I hope the war goes on forever and Ryan gets drafted.

Look, I'm all about loyalty. In fact, I feel like part of what I'm getting paid for here is my loyalty.

On the street we didn't have any rules. Maybe one - no kicks to the groin.

Do we all have our copy of 'Threat Level: Midnight', by Michael Scott?

Today is Thursday. But Dwight thinks that it's Friday. And that's what I'll be working on this afternoon.

It's like squishing a spider under a book. It's gonna be really gross but I have to look and make sure that it's really dead. So...if you guys see anything... ?

Yankee Swap is like Machiavelli meets...Christmas.

Michael stands in the front of the boat and says that he's king of the world within the first hour, or I give you my next paycheck.

Look, the point is, I am the only one here who has a legitimate disability, although I'm sure Stanley has had his fair share of obstacles.

Guess what I found out about Oscar tonight? He was lying about being sick.

Beyonce, pink the color, Pink the person, hot dogs, basically anything that is awesome. Snow cones...

Women in the workplace... yeah, translation 'I have been banned from my own conference room so that Jan can talk in secret to all the girls.'

Michael made that stupid movie, he doesn't get into any trouble? Maybe I should have slept with you, too.

We must never acquiesce for it is together, TOGETHER, THAT WE PREVAIL! We must never cede control of the motherland! For it is...together that we prevail!

I want to be married and have a hundred kids so I can have a hundred friends, and no one can say no to being my friend.

Hey Pam, all this stuff with Kevin, um, it's pretty scary. And I'm thinking that uh, next time you're in the shower, you should check yourself out. You know, give yourself an exam.

Have you ever...pooped...a balloon?

Win/Win is number four and number five is win/win/win. The important difference here is with win/win/win, we all win. Me too.

I was just...I'm in love with you.

I ate a tuna sandwich, on my first day. So, Andy started calling me Big Tuna. ...I don't think any of them actually know my real name.

Well, that's how we do it in Scranton. Or did you forget? There ain't no party like a Scranton party, 'cause a Scranton party don't stop.

Saboteur! I'm going to kill you for real. This game--- the game is over. I'm really going to shoot you.

Did I wake up this morning thinking I'd be throwing together a bird funeral? You never can tell what your day here is gonna turn into.

Once a year they bring in a little cart and they give away free pretzels. It's really not a big deal. To some people it is.

So...um...tell me, is your marriage the kind of thing where when you die she has to throw herself on a fire?

Say what you will about Michael Scott, but he would never do that.

Wow! You are very exotic looking. Was your dad a G.I.?

Been a lot of fun talk about prison today, but I am here to scare you straight. I AM HERE TO SCARE YOU STRAIGHT!!

One part eggnog, three parts sake. Some places won't make it for you though, because eggnog is seasonal.

In the name of Nutcracker Christmas.

So you're PMSing pretty bad, huh?

It has been a pleasure working with some of you and I will not forget those of you soon but remember, while today it is me, we all shall fall. In other words, I am quitting.

I have left Dunder Mifflin after many record-breaking years and am officially on the job market. And it's very exciting.

Michael, Dwight would like your man meat.

Congratulations, Bob. You're a good man. But just know... if you ever lay a finger on Phyllis, I will kill you.

That is our building and we sell paper. I am really proud of you.

I run a small fake ID company from my car with a laminating machine I swiped from the sheriff's station.

I am not a hero. I am a mere defender of the office. You know who's a real hero? Hiro, from Heroes. That's a hero. Also, Bono.

We are going to listen in on Darryl's presentation to the warehouse. And if I know Darryl, it gonna be zoppity.

Yeah, well I'm calling the Ungrateful Bi-atch Hotline!

Sometimes, the clothes at GapKids are just too flashy. So I'm forced to go to the American Girl store and order clothes for large colonial dolls.

Jim, I called off my wedding because of you. And now we're not even friends. And things are just like weird between us, and that sucks. And I miss you.

Once I'm officially Regional Manager my first order of business will be to demote Jim Halpert. So I will need a new number two. My ideal choice? Jack Bauer. But he is unavailable.

Pam. Sorry. Um, are you free for dinner tonight?

I thought they'd be good together, like PB&J: Pam Beasley and Jim. What a waste. What. A. Waste!

Finishing that 5k, was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I ate more fettuccine alfredo and drank less water, than I have in my entire life.

I'm telling you this kid is the grim reaper. You deal with this or you, me, Sammy, Phyllis, the chick you hit with the car, we're goners.

What's missing? The turtles. Where are the turtles? Where are the turtles?

Not sure. Just became self-aware. So much to figure out. I think I am programmed to be your enemy. I think it is my job to destroy you when it comes to selling paper.

Why is there a kid on your webcam saying that he's being held against his...

Mo Chuisle. He's watching Million Dollar Baby. He's gonna try to kill me.

I...DECLARE...BANKRUPTCY!

Dunder Mifflin. Limitless paper in a paperless world.

I am the regional manager of Dunder-Mifflin Utica branch. Turns out it's a pretty easy gig when your boss isn't an idiot and your boyfriend's not in love with somebody else.

Yup, Phyllis called me Michael. And I will always and forever be haunted by that fact.

You expect to get screwed by your company, but you never expect to get screwed by your girlfriend.

THAT IS A 200 DOLLAR PLASMA SCREEN TV YOU JUST KILLED! Good luck paying me back on your zero dollars a year salary plus benefits, babe!

After Stacy left, things did not go well for awhile. And, and it was hard to see... It's just nice to win one.

Yes, the social networking feature of the Dunder Mifflin Infinity website was infiltrated by sexual predators.

Alright alright, okay, you know what? Now you know how I feel. This was a fake firing. Lesson learned. Good work, everybody. Very nice.

Yeah, kiss her. Kiss her good.

Okay, well, they hired a female Toby. Good for the world. Thank you, God, for creating two of you.

Holly is the best thing that has happened to this company since World War II. Fifty years, she is the best.

Tomorrow I start a three-month design program at the Pratt Institute in New York. I will be a little fish in the big apple. What up, 212?

I hate dieting, I hate it so much. I hate this worm inside of me!

Well for the past six years I have been sleeping with him in exchange for discounts on our supplies and Outback Steakhouse gift certificates.

I was just going to...I was going to talk to Holly, about her hygiene. She smells like old tomatoes and dirt.

Mike gave me a list of his top ten Springsteen songs. Three of them were Huey Lewis and the News. One was Tracy Chapman, Fast Car. And my personal favorite, Short People.

No I won't! I'm not strong! And I'll go back to Jan, and I hate Jan! Oh God!

You cannot say 'I was raped' and expect all of your problems to go away, Kelly. Not again. Don't keep doing that.

I'm coming back the wrong way.

I tried, I tried. I tried to talk to Toby and be his friend but that is like trying to be friends with an evil...snail.

So, I guess that's how they're gonna play this. It is on. It is so on.

Really Andy? It's Christmas and you're singing about nudity and France.

The Prius is silent if he keeps it under five miles per hour. He deserves the win.

No, no, no no. She's hot, okay? Because if you are saying Hilary Swank isn't hot, then you are saying that I am not hot. Because obviously I am not as hot as Hilary Swank!

You will not die! Stanley! Stanley! Barack is president! You are black, Stanley! I'm gonna give him mouth to mouth.

When you're a kid you assume your parents are soul mates. My kids are gonna be right about that.

Every magician has a hot assistant, and every rock star has a roadie, and Pam is my hot roadie.

Nashua actually sounded very excited on the phone. I don't think they get a lot of visitors. Because their office is only accessible by cross-country skis. Hey-oh!

This is like a modern day Enchanted, it's like a fairy tale.

I am not Michael. I am Willy Wonkaaaaa.

Do you even know how paper is made? It's not like steel. You don't put it into a furnace. If you put paper into a furnace, you know what would happen? You'd ruin it.

He finally has a story everyone wants to hear. And he knows it.

How come out of everyone in the office, I'm the only one that went with you? Is it because I'm that stupid? I mean, your own grandmother doesn't even believe in you!

I make that one copy, and I become the girl who makes copies, and by the end of the day I'm receptionist again.

I color code all my info. I wrote 'gay son' in green. Green means go, so I know to go ahead and shut up about it.

Case of the beet bandit. Missing beets from all over the farm. No footprints. Inside job. Mose in socks. Boom, case closed.

I'm just hiding out until all this stuff blows over. With Creed. Playing chess. At work. He's winning. I feel like I'm describing a dream I had.

Now I know what the founders of Phillip Morris felt like. You just want to give people a smooth, fun way to relax and suddenly you're just some terrible monster.

Hey, Dwight, uh...send in the subs!