| Status Update | Figure |
|---|
| We were eliminated from the playoffs today. But since I'm the best player on the only good team in town, people still love me! | |
| Man I feel sorry for Ben Roethlisberger. Just buy em a ring and they'll get over it! | |
| Got arrested today. I can break the law as well as I do Redskin's Quarterbacks legs. | |
| So we hired Pacman Jones. Now I have to coach ANOTHER player with a record....FML. | |
| Cooking fish today! Inviting Kobe over so he can tell me how my bass tastes. | |
| Anybody know a good auto body shop? Gotta replace a window..... | |
| Boxers or briefs today. I hate making decisions. I'll just go commando. | |
| People of my sport really love me! Even if I've only won 1 race in the last 3 years. | |
| Moving away from Massachusetts. You let one ball get away from you and the whole world hates you!! | |
| | Status Update | Figure |
|---|
| My son got fired today. That's what happens when you miss the playoffs and hope you can win a game. | |
| Dammit, injured AGAIN!! I wanna be with my wife, so 2 can become 1. | |
| Eliminated from playoffs today. Americans still hate me, especially ones in Pennsylvania. | |
| Turned 41 today. I hate newspapers. | |
| Fishing today! Caught a flounder...it was what I thought it was, so I let it off the hook. | |
| Applied for a job with the Patriots today. Denied. Something about a catch I made against them in the Super Bowl. | |
| Found out that I lost my job while I was at the buffet. People keep comparing me to Ryan Leaf! | |
| Work out?! Please, I make $100 million I can just buy muscles! | |
| Going to practice today. FML. | |
|
MLB Teams 
NFL Teams 
Division-I Basketball
