Can you name the Common Descriptions a Sportswriter might use to sum up these 'Everyday' or fictitious 'Matchups'?

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'Team' ADid what to / Were what by'Team' B (final score)
The Carpentersthe Nails (12-4)
The Icebergsthe Titanics (7-1)
The Newlywedsthe Knots (1-1)
The Hedges wereby the Shears (3-2)
The Gravediggersthe Cadavers (12-2)
The Closed Storm Windowsthe Cold Wind Gusts (2-0) {2 wds}
The Cold Wind Gustspast the Closed Storm Windows, in the rematch (5-1)
The Broomsthe Dusty Rugs (3-0)
The Apple Carts were by the Clumsy Underdogs (3-5), which no one predicted
The Flood Waters quicklythe River Banks (7-5) {1 or 2 wds}
The Biting Dogsthe Runner's Heels (8-7)
The Highway Construction Machinesthe Lumpy New Pavement (9-3)
The Charming and Hopeful Boyfriendover the Prospective In-Laws (1-2) in spite of the score
'Team' ADid what to / Were what by'Team' B (final score)
The Exiting Janitorsthe Trash (6-2) {2 wds}
The Off-Track Train Cars wereby the Sharp Bends (9-7)
The Precision Lawn Toolsthe Flush Sidewalk Borders (5-4)
The Plaguesthe Ancient Civilizations (11-0) {1 or 2 wds}
The Lazy Dads finallythe Dated Christmas Lights (4-2) {1 or 2 wds}
The Falling Skateboardersthe Unprotected Knees (11-10)
The Bedroom Doors wereby the Petulant Teenagers (12-5)
The Greasy-footed Ninjasthe Oblivious Guards (13-12) {2 wds}
The Stinky White-striped Pepe Le Pewsthe Penelope Pussycats (14-0)
In mixed doubles, The Legendary Swordsman and the Buff Schoolgirl teamed up, andthose pesky Dragons and Vampires (12-6)
The Untrained Librariansthe Dewey Classification System (10.00-0.00)
The Better Players outwitted,and outlasted the Outplayed Players (obviously)
The Already-Provided Answersthe Purpose, and so defeated the Purpose of this game
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If 'Everyday' People and Things were Matched in Competition... Quiz

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