| Quote | Character | Season |
| When you decapitate a loved one you don't expect them to come visiting. | |
| Do you want me to lie to you now? | |
| Well you're just a regular Hans Christian Tarantino, aren't you? | |
| Could you stab me in the back a little deeper? I still have feeling in my legs. | |
| Someday you'll learn the truth, and you'll hate yourself. | |
| I had to sing Barry Manilow. In front of people. | |
| Okay, you take the thirty thousand on the left... | |
| Okay Atlas, how about a shrug? | |
| If you don't sign we'll sue your ass off and kill your children. Just kidding, Donald. Nobody wants a lawsuit. | |
| Get a cab, you moron, and on the way, if a stranger offers you candy, don't get in the van! | |
| Good night, folks. | |
| They're looking at the wee little puppet man. | |
| You don't talk to me, I'll kick your ass. Featured word: ass. | |
| I'm from Sunnydale, we had our own Hellmouth! | |
| Wesley, why can't I stay? | |
| Blondie bear? | |
| When I got here, they... they didn't do that. Well that's nice for her. | |
| They don't crucify here. It's too Christian. | |
| Oh no, I'm quite dead. Unfortunately my contract with Wolfram and Hart extends well beyond that. | |
| I don't get it. Why are they afraid of Xena? | |
| How about you both bite me? | |
| I helped save the world, y'know. | |
| Handsome man, saved me from the monsters. | |
| You're stepping on my moment of manliness here. | |
| Damn! This is so much harder than it looks on Batman! | |