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36 Best Cheap Beers (Deadspin)
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Can you pick the 36 Best Cheap Beers?
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Borrowed from a Deadspin blog written on 7/03/13 by Will Gordon (Read first comment)
36.This is the worst beer currently sold on American soil. It sits behind chilled glass in a convenience-store fridge like a dumb rebuke to the explosion of American beer varieties
35.The world never needs more flavors of ________, but the popularity of the otherwise worthless Corona proves that folks love to limen up their beers.
34. It doesn't even have the dignity to go down swinging with a signature blend of gross flavors, a la Keystone. _____ _____is just the archetypal stale cardboard crud-juice.
33. Smells like three fat guys in a two-man tent.
32. Bonus points for the purple can. No points for anything else.
31. This is what the bartenders and cool people in my neighborhood drink, and god bless them, I wish I could too. The bottle! The name! The 'Champagne of Beers' tagline!
30. I loved ______ until a few years ago, when they made a big fuss about reintroducing the 'Classic 60s Formula,' which tastes yeasty and sweet, like an infected donut.
29. I'm largely shut out of the Baltimore conversation, but I HAVE had a _____ __, which qualifies me to say, Sure, I get it, hometown pride is nice sometimes.
28. Not as bad as 7-Eleven's private label ice beer could be, but still: Do Juggalos have their own special beer? Because if not, I nominate this to be the special Juggalo beer.
27. Tastes like the brown ends of corn silk, plus lemon.
26. Tastes like printer paper and often gives the impression of unfreshness, which is alarming given the high turnover.
25. Why are people so into _________? It's quite popular among the Pennsylvania ex-pat community, which is odd given that the beer sucks.
24. This is for the sort of person who buys tube socks at the bus stop.
23. The soggy cardboard sensation fades after the first several cans, turning _____ ___ into a serviceable alternative to sobriety.
22. It doesn't taste like much one way or the other, but it's marred by a rubbery slickness that leaves your tongue feeling like third-day deli ham.
21. I drank a lot of this in high school. Do high school kids still drink cheap beer, or is it all the lemonade alcopop bullshit
20. It's easy to mock the beast, but it's all I drank in college and I turned out.
19. Your Jet Ski needs a new fuel pump and you're fresh out of cash. Then you realize you can just step it down to _____ for a few weeks and bang, back in the lake.
18. The rotting fruit and flesh are stripped away to leave a regular, boring light beer that's a viable option if you're looking to drink your way into Speedo shape.
17. This was the first beer I ever hated, but that was back in my stupid youth, when I expected more out of life.
16. Weird that Mr. Rogers and Mr. Roethlisberger represent the same city.
15. This is Trader Joe's house lager. It's all right.
14. This is also Trader Joe's house lager.
12. It's better than I remembered. If you base your beer choices on the CEO's politics - Then you probably have an opinion on Head Pete in Charge's staunch conservatism.
11. Puerto Rican beer is American beer, buster. I drank a hundred million of these on my honeymoon and I suggest you do the same.
10. When I was a very young buck, the Patriots played in ________ Stadium. Now the stadium's better and so is the team.
9. This one smells a little bit like the produce section of a carpeted grocery store, but it goes down pretty smooth otherwise.
8. It's the most middle-of-the-road thing ever to come out of Oklahoma's southern sister. It's good in certain applications, such as when it's a thousand degrees outside
7. This is on the sweet side of mediocre, but it's a bright, clean kind of sugar that tells soothing lies about freshness and purity.
6. My dad drank most of the world's stock of ______ ____ before his untimely passing, but you can still get your grubby mitts on a can or two if you know the right people
5. Tastes like Budweiser is supposed to.
4. This Central New Yorker's unique vegetal maltiness is much better than the phrase 'unique vegetal maltiness' suggests.
3. You don't see much yellow-canned _____ in Boston, which is a small shame, since it's a half-step better than its direct competitors.
2. This resurrected New England legend was prominently featured in Jaws, then went away for a couple decades.
1. I always think of Minnesota as a secretly sexy place, Maybe it's all the trout and music and Lutherans. it's a wonder Minnesota hasn't seceded to form its own naked blond utopia
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