If at first you don't succeed, __________

I've had amnesia __________

A man walks into a bar.

A husband argued that male judgment was superior to that of a female. His wife replied, 'Of course, dear; after all, __________'

'They had to amputate them both at the ankles,' __________

What did the Zen Buddhist say to the hotdog vendor? '__________'

The Devil challenged St. Peter to a baseball game. St. Peter said, 'How can I lose? All the famous ballplayers are up here!' The Devil retorted, 'How can I lose? __________'

Although doing circumcisions may not be very profitable to a rabbi, at least __________

Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?

I have a good joke about noble gasses, but the last time I told it, __________

Velcro is such a __________

What's green with wheels?

A woman says to her son, 'I'm so fat, ugly, and hideous. Please tell me something positive.' The boy says, '__________'

What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic?

How did the hipster burn his tongue?

A snail got mugged by a turtle. When the police arrived, they asked the snail for details. The snail replied, '__________'

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender smiles and says, 'Hey! We have a drink named after you!' 'Really?' the grasshopper replies. '__________'

A guy complains to his psychiatrist, 'Doc, I've got a problem. I'm a teepee. I'm a wigwam. I'm a teepee. I'm a wigwam.' The doctor replies, 'Clearly, __________'

A guy walks into a bar, heaves a slab of asphalt onto the counter, and says, '__________'

What do you get when a grenade is thrown into a traditional French kitchen?

Are you going to the lecture on schizophrenia? __________

A man walks into a bar, and hears a voice say 'Nice tie', and then 'Nice jacket.' Seeing no one, he asks the bartender who is talking. The bartender replies, '__________'

What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas? '__________'

What's brown and sticky?