Bad Review? Best Picture!

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Can you name the winners of the Best Picture Oscar based upon these bad reviews?

Featured Aug 25, 2011

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'Historically inaccurate epic in Scottish nationalism, sentimental romance, machismo heroics and over-the-top brutality, a vanity project if ever there was one'Dennis Schwartz, Ozus' World Movie Reviews
'And so it raises the question: If racism is so pervasive in our society, why do we need such an elaborately contrived plot to drive home the message?'Stephanie Zacharek, Salon.com
'Lacking confidence in the characters, the director forces a half-assed Bollywood aesthetic on them, making the colors pop and changing camera angles every 2 minutes'Fernando F. Croce, CinePassion
'Cost: well over $200m. Disregarding the ethics of such expenditure on a film, this unprecedented extravagance has not resulted in sophisticated or even satisfying storytelling'Geoff Andrew, Time Out
'It's a second movie made largely out of the bits and pieces of the novel that didn't fit into the first. It's a Frankenstein's monster stitched together from leftover parts.'Vincent Canby, New York Times
'It's such a laborious conveyance of eye-filling outdoor spectacle - displays of endless desert - we know little more about this man when it is over than we did when it begins'Bosley Crowther, New York Times
'An urban crime thriller which won undeserved acclaim for its efficient but unremarkable elevated-railway chase and its clumsy, showy emphasis on grainy, sordid realism.'Geoff Andrew, Time Out
'The result resembles one of Neil Simon's middlebrow romps more than it does As You Like It.'Laura Miller, Salon.com
'Manipulative, demeans religious trust and Catholicity, is anti-hope, anti-family, pro euthanasia propaganda, brutalizes femininity, and is terminally depressing.'Tony Medley
'There were a few exciting moments in this poorly acted and overlong melodramatic spectacle, such as the 40 minute climatic chariot race in the Roman Circus'Dennis Schwartz, Ozus' World Movie Reviews

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