| My Incident | Name |
| Hit me with a cup of water and I will fight you in the stands. | |
| I'm going to hit a home run right to where I point my bat | |
| My arm was moving forward, I don't care what any of the replays showed. | |
| Can't seem to hit the hole ever since I went to rehab for my sex addiction. | |
| Insult me and I will head butt you. I don't care if this is the World Cup or not. | |
| I will call out every other NHL'er that goes after my sloppy seconds. | |
| I'm retired for good this time. I swear. I mean it....Seriously | |
| I definitely couldn't afford shoes after the 1919 World Series fix. | |
| Checklist if I get accused of rape: deny, buy wife a diamond ring, change number. | |
| So I find pieces of ear in my teeth. What of it? | |