Television / American Dad Quotes

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Can you name the Character that says this quote?

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QuoteCharacter
'A cult of muderous housewives. Before 9/11, I wouldn't have believed it, or at least I'd ask you some follow-up questions. But that's just not the world we live in anymore.'
'Oh, I've got claws. Look how fat you are. See? Kitty can scratch.'
'Hello. Are you from a religion? Because we're happy with the God we have now.'
'Hawaii?! Thats where Japan goes to play golf!'
'I have to hold on to this bag of cat food, or I might float away.'
'Once again, C.I.A. body-doubles are for work purposes ONLY, people. Using your double to finish making love to a Jet Blue stewardess - because you were too drunk - is a definite n
'It's times like this that I wish I had a wife. So, I could turn to her and say 'Stop eating that bread, you fat pig, look at your thighs, you disgust me.'
'It's the cops! Quick, flush me down the toilet!'
'Good call, babe. You can do better.'
'Look, Mr. Smith, your stress zits are going away. Yay!'
QuoteCharacter
'Clooney, you smug bastard. Stop playing basketball and get married like the rest of us. '
'I touched her hand... her hand touched her boob. By the transitive property, I got some boob! Algebra's awesome!'
' I'm not ready for Steve to make the change. He's gonna have man breath, and his poops won't smell good anymore.'
'By the way, Hayley, oh my God, these Chocodiles, these Chocodiles, Hayley, oh my God, these Chocodiles, oh my God!'
'Okay, people, again, the curare darts are not toys. They're for temporarily paralyzing your enemies...or just chilling out to some Zeppelin.'
'Why can't you take a page from that bitch Hillary Clinton and let it go?'
'Okay. I'm cool. Whatever life throws at me, I can take it, because I am a strong, independant, black woman... I mean, white teenager. Oh God, I'm gonna die out here!'
'Let's see, how do I hang an air freshener on this? You are a total waste of space. I often dream of killing you. (inhales) Ah, Mountain Pine.'
'Roger? Whoah! Is this one of those Twilight Zone phones where I can talk to the dead, but only with horrible, ironic consequences?'
'Our top story, a car was broken into Cherry Street this afternoon. My car. The suspect was six-foot two and a bastard!'

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