Quote | Character |
D'oh | |
Me fail English? That's unpossible | |
This is the greatest case of false advertising I’ve seen since I sued the movie “The Never Ending Story.” | |
No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it. | |
Don’t kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he’d eat you and everyone you care about! | |
The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity… | |
Oh, so they have Internet on computers now! | |
I’ve done everything the Bible says — even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff! | |
Your questions have become more redundant and annoying than the last three “Highlander” movies. | |
Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1…2. | |
I’ll be back. You can’t keep the Democrats out of the White House forever, and when they get in, I’m back on the streets, with all my criminal buddies. | |
When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power…like God must feel when he’s holding a gun. | |
Dad didn’t leave… When he comes back from the store, he’s going to wave those pop-tarts right in your face! | |
Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? *Why did I have the bowl?* | |
Well, he’s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace “accidentally” with “repeatedly” and replace “dog” with “son.” | |
Last night’s “Itchy and Scratchy Show” was, without a doubt, the worst episode *ever.* Rest assured, I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout t | |
I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman | |
Save me, Jeebus | |
I stand by my racial slur. | |
| Quote | Character |
Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix. | |
You don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way. | |
Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city! He is the cancer and I am the…uh…what cures cancer? | |
I was saying boo-urns | |
Marge, just about everything’s a sin. [holds up a Bible] Y’ever sat down and read this thing? Technically we’re not supposed to go to the bathroom | |
Uh, no, they’re saying “Boo-urns, Boo-urns.” | |
Hi. I’m _________. You may remember me from such self-help tapes as “Smoke Yourself Thin” and “Get Some Confidence, Stupid!” | |
Please do not offer my god a peanut. | |
I’ve had it with this school, Skinner. Low test scores, class after class of ugly, ugly children… | |
Our differences are only skin deep, but our sames go down to the bone. | |
Inflammable means flammable? What a country. | |
Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos. | |
Aaah! Natural light! Get it off me! Get it off me! | |
I didn’t think it was physically possible, but this both sucks *and* blows | |
Shoplifting is a victimless crime. Like punching someone in the dark. | |
Get ready, skanks! It’s time for the truth train! | |
I’m allergic to bee stings. They cause me to, uh, die. | |
______ can’t breathe! OH NO | |
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