| Quote | Character |
| Michelle, you are old enough to hear this... How rude! | |
| Kimmy called me a geek-burger. | |
| Ah, nuts! | |
| I could've said, 'Have mercy!' but it felt more like an, 'Ay chihuahua!' | |
| Oh, then how do you roast a turkey? | |
| Well, I'm not your acquaintance. I'm not your waiter. And if I was your mechanic, you would be having brake problems by now. | |
| Cathy Santoni is a complete bimbo. She signed up for Shop Class cause she thought it was taught at the mall | |
| That's not a big problem. A big problem is like... well... if your butt fell off. | |
| This is no fun, no fun, looking at the wall | |
| Gee Mr. T you sure know how how to kick off a weekend. | |
| This is great. I'm listening to Baby Balooga and drinking moo juice. When did my life become a rated G movie? | |
| | Quote | Character |
| Spring Cleaning is my Christmas! | |
| Kimmy, I just can't tell my dad I'm going to Spain for the summer. He gets worried when I go to the mail box. | |
| Oh you never have to go to school again! | |
| Interesting but terribly overrated. | |
| My boot. My beautiful, crusty boot. | |
| You gave away Mr. Bear? Officer arrest this man | |
| Bruce Springsteen is the boss. | |
| YUMMY IN THE TUMMY | |
| She has all the symptoms. Lack of sound, dialated pupils, lack of balance...Kimmy ate tainted pork! | |
| Danny, I know you're really into this self defense class but i seriously doubt that some highly crazed fruit vender is going to attack you. | |
| Honey they were angry besides it was just words. They didn't happen to mention mean mommy did they? | |
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