Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel Quotes

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Can you name the Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel Quotes?

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QuoteWho Said ItSeason, Episode Name
Your body warms. This one is lusting after me.
I left my bra in his car.
And one world with nothing but shrimp... I tired of that one quickly.
Put me on the short bus, and send me off to clueless school.
[1] Just once I would like to run into a cult of bunny worshippers. [2] Great! Thank you very much for those nightmares.
Your shirt...
Hey that's cheating!
Danced with is a pretty loose term. Mated with might be a little closer.
And how do you expect to get that hunk of rubble into my cranium?
Well, I can't take you in a fight or anything, even with a chip in your head. But you do sleep. If you hurt my sister at all... touch her... you're waking up on fire
My nog tastes funny. I think I got one with rum in it.
Too bad we'll never know...if this is a face you could learn to love.
You filthy harlot! I'm gonna tear your neck out!
Its not supposed to mix with anything. You think he's taking prescription medication?
[1]Oh, balls! You didn't say he was a Glarghk Guhl Kashmas'nik! [2] 'Cause I can't say Glarba...
Everybody loves a slender ankle.
Anya's going to try to cook. Want to watch the tears and recriminations?
Thank God we're pretty.
I don't think you'll want it, but you'll take it, because this is the offer of a lifetime...Just not, you know, mine.
Anchovies anchovies you're so delicious. I love you more than all the other fishes.
[1] Where's my burger? [2] Yeah, man, I'm starving. Cow me.
There's blood on this. Lots. Looks like The First made another sacrifice. Or a music video.
[1] Um, why is that guy tied to a chair? [2] The question you'll soon be asking is, 'Why isn't he gagged?'
Well, first you say it's cat. Then you come in, hand me a burger, blah blah blah, five minutes later, 'Oh, by the way, it happens to be hot, delicious human flesh'?
And there's something else you should know about me. I have no problem spanking men.
So pretty. Can I have one?
[1] Hey, I eat danger for breakfast. [2] But oddly enough, she panics in the face of breakfast foods.
[1] I'm guessing on how you say it. It's got an apostrophe. I think it's MmmFashnik. Like 'Mmm... cookies!'. [2] Or maybe, Muh-Fashnik. Like Muh... Fashnik.
Those are... metaphor intestines! You're not in any real pain!
Um. I have a really bad idea.
Why not call me Horny Giles or Desperate For a Shag Giles?!
Well, there you go. Even when he's good he's all Mr. Billowy Coat King of Pain.
Right. What's a little sweater sniffing between sworn enemies?
[1] For God's sakes, *name*! You've been in here for 30 minutes. What are you doing? [2] Entertaining and educating. [1] Why can't you just masturbate like the rest of us?
Schpadoinkle.
[1] So she's like a TV star? [2] No, nothing that bad. Bit more violent, though.
Always walking around like you had a great big stake shoved up your English Channel.
[1] How's evil taste? [2] A little chalky.
I'm so scared. What's next? Vampire Cowboy. Vampire Fireman? Oh, Vampire Ballerina!
[1] Guys. Take a moment to deal with this. We survived. [2] It was a hell of a battle. [1] Not the battle. High school.
[1] I don't know. Xander said... [2] Xander? Oh, he's the deadest man in Deadonia.
[1] Something's eating Xander's head. [2] Say, that's gratifying.
People may say something like, 'My protein window closes in an hour'. Just... nod and smile. 'Mm-hmm.' Turns out it has something to do with fitness.
[1]Now all we gotta do is trap this Übervamp in the pantry, and it's game over. [2]*name*, newbies. Let's ease them into the whole 'jokes in the face of death' thing.
He is very fortunate to have such a woman looking after his weapon.
Allow me to answer that question with a firing.
[1] So what do we do? [2] Easy. We burn the house to the ground and collect the insurance. Plus, fire. Pretty.
I think he wants to make me his butt monkey.
[1] Guess she's out with Riley. You know how it is with a spanking new boyfriend. [2] Yes, we've enjoyed spanking.
QuoteWho Said ItSeason, Episode Name
No such animal.
Why not just try all 32 flavors?
Someone needs a hug.
We should try shouting 'fire'. It's not technically a crowded theater.
Oh yeah? Says who? [looks at sign] Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. I didn't see the sign.
To read makes our speaking English good.
His physical presence has a penis!
Who you gonna call? [gets a look from *Buffy*] God, that phrase is never gonna be usable again, is it?
He'd celebrate the opening of a mailbox with a drink down in the pub.
I'm not stealing. I'm just taking things without paying for them. In what twisted dictionary is that called stealing?
Hello salty goodness.
Ugh, well, that's gonna go straight to my hips.
[1]What do you think happened? Another demon woman was attracted to me. I'm going gay. I've decided I'm turning gay. Willow, gay me up. Come on, let's gay. [2] What?
Just so you know, I'm prepared to hate this woman any way you want.
Handsome man saved me from the monsters.
No, sweetie, I am the magics.
Because it's a killer snot monster from outerspace. I did not say that.
It's an ancient sacred text, not a Magic Eight Ball.
You're stepping on my moment of manliness here.
We die horribly and painfully. You go to hell, and I spend eternity in the arms of Baby Jesus.
Oh penis!
It eats you starting with your bottom.
Oh, yes, no. He's no lounger, this one.
[1] We'll get ya fixed up. You'll be doin' limbo in no time. [2] Yeah as a pole!
That is such a twinkie defense.
[1] See, that's why we don't point the weapons in the kitchen. [2] It's not loaded. [1] That's always the lead quote under the headline, 'Household Crossbow Accident Claims Teen.'
Where's the creep that turned me into his spider-eating man-bitch
You never know what's coming, the stake is not the power, To Serve Man is a cookbook. I love you. Go away.
[1] These spells, these really work? I mean, can you really 'turn your enemies inside out'? Or 'learn to excrete gold coins'? [2] That one's not so much fun.
[1] Shouldn't you be tucked away in your beddy-bye all warm and safe where nothing can eat you? [2] Is that supposed to scare me? [1] Little tremble wouldn't hurt.
Here's the plan: We go in, I start hitting people hard in the face, see where it takes us.
That blade is very old! Who knows what kind of corrosive effect your cooking may have on it?
[Talking about Warren] She killed him. Ripped him apart and bloodied up the forest doing it. Now she's coming here and the two of you are next.
Somebody get me a lawyer, because my civil rights have seriously been violated.
[1] W-What if this is all part of the plan? Drive you guys away so It can have Its way with me? E-Ev-Ever think of that? [2] I'll risk it.
Very Juice Newton.
I watched 'Passions' with Spike. Let us never speak of it again.
Oh, I know. Every night it’s Jeopardy, followed by Wheel of Fortune and a cup of hot cocoa. Look out, girls, this one can’t be tamed!
Ass-pansy!
Too squishy. When I was five, Buffy told me they were monkey brains, and...
How about 'cause you're a tiny impotent Nazi with a bug up his butt the size of an emu?
That's a weird place for a horn...That's not a horn.
All I'm saying is soulless Spike would have had me upside down and half-way to happyland by now.
Yes, he's clearly a bad influence on himself.
Spank us till Tuesday.
We do not joke about eating people in this house!
[1] Ow! Watch it, that's my joystick hand. [2] I'm not gonna touch that one.
[1] Oh my god, are you twelve? [2] I'm getting the brush-off for Captain Peroxide.
You're a bloody puppet!
QuoteWho Said ItSeason, Episode Name
[1] Would you let it go? You're like a dog with a bone. [2] So what? [1] It's my bone! Just drop it.
My sodden sleeping chair's bloody...sodden.
I saw you in bed.
[1] Touchdown! Go Team Me! [2] Did anyone tell Team You your Quarterback throws like a girl? [1] I do?
[1] If you want him, you're going to have to go through me! [2] Okey dokey.
It's the end of the world.
[1] No pulse. [2] Yup. Space lamb got him.
[1] In all fairness, I don't think we know about the slithered part. [2] Oh no, I'm sure it frisked about like a fluffy lamb.
[1] I love a ritual sacrifice. [2] It's not really a one of those. [1] To commemorate a past event, you kill and eat an animal. It's a ritual sacrific. With pie.
Step on what? I've driven tricycles with more power than this.
Then stop flexing your manly boob-muscles or whatever.
...but not to obey you, of course, because that's anachronistic and misogynistic and who do you think you are, like a sea captain or something?
A bidet. Like a bidet of evil.
I wear the cheese, it does not wear me.
You mean he actually says Eureka?
That's not true. Sometimes we all help to save you...And-and sometimes you're not in trouble.
[1] I'm sick of being the guy who eats insects and gets the funny syphilis. As of this moment, it's over. I'm finished being everybody's butt-monkey! [2] Check. No more butt monkey
I may be love's bitch but at least I'm man enough to admit it.
[1] I've lived in Sunnydale a couple of years now. You know what I've never noticed before? [2] Uh, a castle? [1] A big, honkin' castle.
[1] So, I took a look inside that emergency bag of Principal Wood's. [2] And? [1] Smelled weird. Kinda like Grandma's closet, but worse. [2] I didn't know that was possible.
[1] Yes, because the mall was actually in Sunnydale, so there's no hope of going there tomorrow. [2] We destroyed the mall? I fought on the wrong side.
[1] Everyone else is being all twitchy and secretive. [2] They're just trying to keep you safe, I expect. [1] I feel safe with you. [2] Take that back!
'I'm so rotten, they don't even have a word for it. I'm bad. Baddy bad bad bad. Does it make you horny?' Or terrified. Whatever.
I didn't jump. I took a tiny step and there conclusions were.
[1] What am I gonna do? I think about sex all the time! Sex! Help! 4x5 is 30. 5x6 is 32. Naked girls. Naked women! And naked *name*! Oh, stop me! [2] God, *name*. Is that all you t
[1] A bear! You made a bear! [2] I didn't mean to. [1] Undo it! Undo it!
Party in my eye socket and everyone's invited.
Since when do they have orgies, and why aren't I on the mailing list?
[1] There are men, better men, wherein the mind is stronger than the penis. [2] Pfft. Nothing can defeat the penis.
One of us has been drinking, and I'm sorry to say it's not me
[1] I happen to be very biteable pal. I'm moist and delicious. [2] Alright, yeah, fine. You're a nummy treat. [1] And don't you forget it.
[1] What if you just start attracting male demons? [2] Clem always liked you.
[1] We're safe. Right. And, uh, Spike built a robot Buffy to play checkers with. [2] I-It sounded convincing when I thought it.
You're right. He's evil. But you should see him naked! I mean really!
She's not just saying that. Hide some in the office sometime and watch her. It's uncanny.
That'll put marzipan in your pie plate bingo.
[1] This could be trouble. [2] We'd better make a fort. [1] I'll get some pillows.
[1] What are you? [2] Capricorn on the cusp of Aquarius. You? [1] Sorry. Came out a little blunter than intended.
[1] Right. You can't just go 'librum incendere' and expect...(book catches fire) [2] *Name*, don't speak Latin in front of the books.
I think Mr. Too-Much-Cologne is the pot calling the kettle stinky.
[1] Potential Slayers can function without sleep. Me, I'm no good without my usual 90 minutes. [2] I'm with him. Keep the chatter down! Or speak up so I can hear you... I'm bored.
[1] Come on. Who's the man? [2] You are. A very short, annoying man.
Two men enter. One man leaves.
[1] And was there a lesson in all this, huh? What did we learn about beer? [2] Foamy. [1] Good. Just as long as that's clear.
[1] There's an old conjuration that the ancient Turks used to communicate with the dying. [2] Oh, yeah. I think I've read a translation?
Are you saying we should start annoying other people?
I smell a fox in my henhouse.
A muscle cramp? In your... pants?
Shh! Hospital zone. No singing.

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