Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel Quotes

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Can you name the Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel Quotes?

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QuoteWho Said ItSeason, Episode Name
[1] We'll get ya fixed up. You'll be doin' limbo in no time. [2] Yeah as a pole!
[1] Something's eating Xander's head. [2] Say, that's gratifying.
You're right. He's evil. But you should see him naked! I mean really!
[1] A bear! You made a bear! [2] I didn't mean to. [1] Undo it! Undo it!
[1] Where's my burger? [2] Yeah, man, I'm starving. Cow me.
Um. I have a really bad idea.
[1] And was there a lesson in all this, huh? What did we learn about beer? [2] Foamy. [1] Good. Just as long as that's clear.
[1] What if you just start attracting male demons? [2] Clem always liked you.
Here's the plan: We go in, I start hitting people hard in the face, see where it takes us.
My sodden sleeping chair's bloody...sodden.
It eats you starting with your bottom.
I'm not stealing. I'm just taking things without paying for them. In what twisted dictionary is that called stealing?
That is such a twinkie defense.
Always walking around like you had a great big stake shoved up your English Channel.
[1] Come on. Who's the man? [2] You are. A very short, annoying man.
[1] So she's like a TV star? [2] No, nothing that bad. Bit more violent, though.
Anchovies anchovies you're so delicious. I love you more than all the other fishes.
[1] Oh my god, are you twelve? [2] I'm getting the brush-off for Captain Peroxide.
Ugh, well, that's gonna go straight to my hips.
[1] I've lived in Sunnydale a couple of years now. You know what I've never noticed before? [2] Uh, a castle? [1] A big, honkin' castle.
Oh, yes, no. He's no lounger, this one.
Well, there you go. Even when he's good he's all Mr. Billowy Coat King of Pain.
[1] See, that's why we don't point the weapons in the kitchen. [2] It's not loaded. [1] That's always the lead quote under the headline, 'Household Crossbow Accident Claims Teen.'
I saw you in bed.
Its not supposed to mix with anything. You think he's taking prescription medication?
Anya's going to try to cook. Want to watch the tears and recriminations?
I wear the cheese, it does not wear me.
'I'm so rotten, they don't even have a word for it. I'm bad. Baddy bad bad bad. Does it make you horny?' Or terrified. Whatever.
Those are... metaphor intestines! You're not in any real pain!
[1] W-What if this is all part of the plan? Drive you guys away so It can have Its way with me? E-Ev-Ever think of that? [2] I'll risk it.
Hello salty goodness.
[1] I don't know. Xander said... [2] Xander? Oh, he's the deadest man in Deadonia.
You filthy harlot! I'm gonna tear your neck out!
All I'm saying is soulless Spike would have had me upside down and half-way to happyland by now.
[1]Now all we gotta do is trap this Übervamp in the pantry, and it's game over. [2]*name*, newbies. Let's ease them into the whole 'jokes in the face of death' thing.
[1] Would you let it go? You're like a dog with a bone. [2] So what? [1] It's my bone! Just drop it.
Oh penis!
[1] Um, why is that guy tied to a chair? [2] The question you'll soon be asking is, 'Why isn't he gagged?'
Danced with is a pretty loose term. Mated with might be a little closer.
[1] We're safe. Right. And, uh, Spike built a robot Buffy to play checkers with. [2] I-It sounded convincing when I thought it.
Too bad we'll never know...if this is a face you could learn to love.
People may say something like, 'My protein window closes in an hour'. Just... nod and smile. 'Mm-hmm.' Turns out it has something to do with fitness.
Very Juice Newton.
I may be love's bitch but at least I'm man enough to admit it.
So pretty. Can I have one?
Thank God we're pretty.
It's an ancient sacred text, not a Magic Eight Ball.
[1] For God's sakes, *name*! You've been in here for 30 minutes. What are you doing? [2] Entertaining and educating. [1] Why can't you just masturbate like the rest of us?
QuoteWho Said ItSeason, Episode Name
I don't think you'll want it, but you'll take it, because this is the offer of a lifetime...Just not, you know, mine.
[1] There's an old conjuration that the ancient Turks used to communicate with the dying. [2] Oh, yeah. I think I've read a translation?
Two men enter. One man leaves.
[1] So what do we do? [2] Easy. We burn the house to the ground and collect the insurance. Plus, fire. Pretty.
[1] Potential Slayers can function without sleep. Me, I'm no good without my usual 90 minutes. [2] I'm with him. Keep the chatter down! Or speak up so I can hear you... I'm bored.
[1] I'm sick of being the guy who eats insects and gets the funny syphilis. As of this moment, it's over. I'm finished being everybody's butt-monkey! [2] Check. No more butt monkey
That's not true. Sometimes we all help to save you...And-and sometimes you're not in trouble.
[1] Guess she's out with Riley. You know how it is with a spanking new boyfriend. [2] Yes, we've enjoyed spanking.
You're a bloody puppet!
Well, first you say it's cat. Then you come in, hand me a burger, blah blah blah, five minutes later, 'Oh, by the way, it happens to be hot, delicious human flesh'?
No, sweetie, I am the magics.
[1] This could be trouble. [2] We'd better make a fort. [1] I'll get some pillows.
That'll put marzipan in your pie plate bingo.
Hey that's cheating!
[1] I love a ritual sacrifice. [2] It's not really a one of those. [1] To commemorate a past event, you kill and eat an animal. It's a ritual sacrific. With pie.
Oh yeah? Says who? [looks at sign] Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. I didn't see the sign.
[1] Everyone else is being all twitchy and secretive. [2] They're just trying to keep you safe, I expect. [1] I feel safe with you. [2] Take that back!
[1] Hey, I eat danger for breakfast. [2] But oddly enough, she panics in the face of breakfast foods.
[1]Oh, balls! You didn't say he was a Glarghk Guhl Kashmas'nik! [2] 'Cause I can't say Glarba...
Handsome man saved me from the monsters.
You never know what's coming, the stake is not the power, To Serve Man is a cookbook. I love you. Go away.
[1] What are you? [2] Capricorn on the cusp of Aquarius. You? [1] Sorry. Came out a little blunter than intended.
I left my bra in his car.
No such animal.
We die horribly and painfully. You go to hell, and I spend eternity in the arms of Baby Jesus.
Then stop flexing your manly boob-muscles or whatever.
He is very fortunate to have such a woman looking after his weapon.
Yes, he's clearly a bad influence on himself.
I didn't jump. I took a tiny step and there conclusions were.
Spank us till Tuesday.
Why not just try all 32 flavors?
...but not to obey you, of course, because that's anachronistic and misogynistic and who do you think you are, like a sea captain or something?
Where's the creep that turned me into his spider-eating man-bitch
[1] Ow! Watch it, that's my joystick hand. [2] I'm not gonna touch that one.
[1] Just once I would like to run into a cult of bunny worshippers. [2] Great! Thank you very much for those nightmares.
Right. What's a little sweater sniffing between sworn enemies?
I think Mr. Too-Much-Cologne is the pot calling the kettle stinky.
Why not call me Horny Giles or Desperate For a Shag Giles?!
Allow me to answer that question with a firing.
How about 'cause you're a tiny impotent Nazi with a bug up his butt the size of an emu?
Everybody loves a slender ankle.
Since when do they have orgies, and why aren't I on the mailing list?
That's a weird place for a horn...That's not a horn.
[1] Touchdown! Go Team Me! [2] Did anyone tell Team You your Quarterback throws like a girl? [1] I do?
His physical presence has a penis!
There's blood on this. Lots. Looks like The First made another sacrifice. Or a music video.
Somebody get me a lawyer, because my civil rights have seriously been violated.
[1] What am I gonna do? I think about sex all the time! Sex! Help! 4x5 is 30. 5x6 is 32. Naked girls. Naked women! And naked *name*! Oh, stop me! [2] God, *name*. Is that all you t
And one world with nothing but shrimp... I tired of that one quickly.
QuoteWho Said ItSeason, Episode Name
[1] How's evil taste? [2] A little chalky.
[1] So, I took a look inside that emergency bag of Principal Wood's. [2] And? [1] Smelled weird. Kinda like Grandma's closet, but worse. [2] I didn't know that was possible.
[Talking about Warren] She killed him. Ripped him apart and bloodied up the forest doing it. Now she's coming here and the two of you are next.
You're stepping on my moment of manliness here.
[1]What do you think happened? Another demon woman was attracted to me. I'm going gay. I've decided I'm turning gay. Willow, gay me up. Come on, let's gay. [2] What?
That blade is very old! Who knows what kind of corrosive effect your cooking may have on it?
My nog tastes funny. I think I got one with rum in it.
[1] There are men, better men, wherein the mind is stronger than the penis. [2] Pfft. Nothing can defeat the penis.
[1] I'm guessing on how you say it. It's got an apostrophe. I think it's MmmFashnik. Like 'Mmm... cookies!'. [2] Or maybe, Muh-Fashnik. Like Muh... Fashnik.
Party in my eye socket and everyone's invited.
[1] Shouldn't you be tucked away in your beddy-bye all warm and safe where nothing can eat you? [2] Is that supposed to scare me? [1] Little tremble wouldn't hurt.
Because it's a killer snot monster from outerspace. I did not say that.
And how do you expect to get that hunk of rubble into my cranium?
Your shirt...
[1] Yes, because the mall was actually in Sunnydale, so there's no hope of going there tomorrow. [2] We destroyed the mall? I fought on the wrong side.
[1] I happen to be very biteable pal. I'm moist and delicious. [2] Alright, yeah, fine. You're a nummy treat. [1] And don't you forget it.
Too squishy. When I was five, Buffy told me they were monkey brains, and...
Someone needs a hug.
Just so you know, I'm prepared to hate this woman any way you want.
I watched 'Passions' with Spike. Let us never speak of it again.
One of us has been drinking, and I'm sorry to say it's not me
Well, I can't take you in a fight or anything, even with a chip in your head. But you do sleep. If you hurt my sister at all... touch her... you're waking up on fire
[1] These spells, these really work? I mean, can you really 'turn your enemies inside out'? Or 'learn to excrete gold coins'? [2] That one's not so much fun.
Put me on the short bus, and send me off to clueless school.
A muscle cramp? In your... pants?
We do not joke about eating people in this house!
I'm so scared. What's next? Vampire Cowboy. Vampire Fireman? Oh, Vampire Ballerina!
To read makes our speaking English good.
Who you gonna call? [gets a look from *Buffy*] God, that phrase is never gonna be usable again, is it?
[1] If you want him, you're going to have to go through me! [2] Okey dokey.
It's the end of the world.
[1] In all fairness, I don't think we know about the slithered part. [2] Oh no, I'm sure it frisked about like a fluffy lamb.
We should try shouting 'fire'. It's not technically a crowded theater.
I smell a fox in my henhouse.
Shh! Hospital zone. No singing.
Oh, I know. Every night it’s Jeopardy, followed by Wheel of Fortune and a cup of hot cocoa. Look out, girls, this one can’t be tamed!
[1] Right. You can't just go 'librum incendere' and expect...(book catches fire) [2] *Name*, don't speak Latin in front of the books.
And there's something else you should know about me. I have no problem spanking men.
I think he wants to make me his butt monkey.
[1] Guys. Take a moment to deal with this. We survived. [2] It was a hell of a battle. [1] Not the battle. High school.
He'd celebrate the opening of a mailbox with a drink down in the pub.
Your body warms. This one is lusting after me.
She's not just saying that. Hide some in the office sometime and watch her. It's uncanny.
Step on what? I've driven tricycles with more power than this.
A bidet. Like a bidet of evil.
Are you saying we should start annoying other people?
You mean he actually says Eureka?
[1] No pulse. [2] Yup. Space lamb got him.

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