Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel Quotes

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Can you name the Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel Quotes?

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QuoteWho Said ItSeason, Episode Name
You're right. He's evil. But you should see him naked! I mean really!
[1] How's evil taste? [2] A little chalky.
I watched 'Passions' with Spike. Let us never speak of it again.
Two men enter. One man leaves.
Those are... metaphor intestines! You're not in any real pain!
[1] In all fairness, I don't think we know about the slithered part. [2] Oh no, I'm sure it frisked about like a fluffy lamb.
Then stop flexing your manly boob-muscles or whatever.
Very Juice Newton.
It's the end of the world.
That blade is very old! Who knows what kind of corrosive effect your cooking may have on it?
Schpadoinkle.
[1] We'll get ya fixed up. You'll be doin' limbo in no time. [2] Yeah as a pole!
[1] Shouldn't you be tucked away in your beddy-bye all warm and safe where nothing can eat you? [2] Is that supposed to scare me? [1] Little tremble wouldn't hurt.
We do not joke about eating people in this house!
[Talking about Warren] She killed him. Ripped him apart and bloodied up the forest doing it. Now she's coming here and the two of you are next.
Everybody loves a slender ankle.
[1] What are you? [2] Capricorn on the cusp of Aquarius. You? [1] Sorry. Came out a little blunter than intended.
[1] Yes, because the mall was actually in Sunnydale, so there's no hope of going there tomorrow. [2] We destroyed the mall? I fought on the wrong side.
I may be love's bitch but at least I'm man enough to admit it.
Spank us till Tuesday.
Oh penis!
[1] Potential Slayers can function without sleep. Me, I'm no good without my usual 90 minutes. [2] I'm with him. Keep the chatter down! Or speak up so I can hear you... I'm bored.
[1] These spells, these really work? I mean, can you really 'turn your enemies inside out'? Or 'learn to excrete gold coins'? [2] That one's not so much fun.
[1] I'm guessing on how you say it. It's got an apostrophe. I think it's MmmFashnik. Like 'Mmm... cookies!'. [2] Or maybe, Muh-Fashnik. Like Muh... Fashnik.
[1] Hey, I eat danger for breakfast. [2] But oddly enough, she panics in the face of breakfast foods.
Anya's going to try to cook. Want to watch the tears and recriminations?
I'm so scared. What's next? Vampire Cowboy. Vampire Fireman? Oh, Vampire Ballerina!
That's not true. Sometimes we all help to save you...And-and sometimes you're not in trouble.
Just so you know, I'm prepared to hate this woman any way you want.
And how do you expect to get that hunk of rubble into my cranium?
[1]What do you think happened? Another demon woman was attracted to me. I'm going gay. I've decided I'm turning gay. Willow, gay me up. Come on, let's gay. [2] What?
People may say something like, 'My protein window closes in an hour'. Just... nod and smile. 'Mm-hmm.' Turns out it has something to do with fitness.
Why not just try all 32 flavors?
Well, first you say it's cat. Then you come in, hand me a burger, blah blah blah, five minutes later, 'Oh, by the way, it happens to be hot, delicious human flesh'?
And one world with nothing but shrimp... I tired of that one quickly.
I wear the cheese, it does not wear me.
Ugh, well, that's gonna go straight to my hips.
Handsome man saved me from the monsters.
[1] Where's my burger? [2] Yeah, man, I'm starving. Cow me.
That'll put marzipan in your pie plate bingo.
Ass-pansy!
[1] For God's sakes, *name*! You've been in here for 30 minutes. What are you doing? [2] Entertaining and educating. [1] Why can't you just masturbate like the rest of us?
That is such a twinkie defense.
[1] This could be trouble. [2] We'd better make a fort. [1] I'll get some pillows.
Since when do they have orgies, and why aren't I on the mailing list?
[1] Would you let it go? You're like a dog with a bone. [2] So what? [1] It's my bone! Just drop it.
[1] Guys. Take a moment to deal with this. We survived. [2] It was a hell of a battle. [1] Not the battle. High school.
Where's the creep that turned me into his spider-eating man-bitch
[1] Um, why is that guy tied to a chair? [2] The question you'll soon be asking is, 'Why isn't he gagged?'
QuoteWho Said ItSeason, Episode Name
I saw you in bed.
Here's the plan: We go in, I start hitting people hard in the face, see where it takes us.
Too bad we'll never know...if this is a face you could learn to love.
[1] See, that's why we don't point the weapons in the kitchen. [2] It's not loaded. [1] That's always the lead quote under the headline, 'Household Crossbow Accident Claims Teen.'
[1] Guess she's out with Riley. You know how it is with a spanking new boyfriend. [2] Yes, we've enjoyed spanking.
[1] Oh my god, are you twelve? [2] I'm getting the brush-off for Captain Peroxide.
[1]Now all we gotta do is trap this Übervamp in the pantry, and it's game over. [2]*name*, newbies. Let's ease them into the whole 'jokes in the face of death' thing.
[1] Just once I would like to run into a cult of bunny worshippers. [2] Great! Thank you very much for those nightmares.
You mean he actually says Eureka?
Because it's a killer snot monster from outerspace. I did not say that.
Put me on the short bus, and send me off to clueless school.
I think he wants to make me his butt monkey.
Yes, he's clearly a bad influence on himself.
[1] Something's eating Xander's head. [2] Say, that's gratifying.
I'm not stealing. I'm just taking things without paying for them. In what twisted dictionary is that called stealing?
[1] Ow! Watch it, that's my joystick hand. [2] I'm not gonna touch that one.
Your body warms. This one is lusting after me.
He is very fortunate to have such a woman looking after his weapon.
...but not to obey you, of course, because that's anachronistic and misogynistic and who do you think you are, like a sea captain or something?
Right. What's a little sweater sniffing between sworn enemies?
His physical presence has a penis!
It's an ancient sacred text, not a Magic Eight Ball.
'I'm so rotten, they don't even have a word for it. I'm bad. Baddy bad bad bad. Does it make you horny?' Or terrified. Whatever.
Its not supposed to mix with anything. You think he's taking prescription medication?
[1] W-What if this is all part of the plan? Drive you guys away so It can have Its way with me? E-Ev-Ever think of that? [2] I'll risk it.
So pretty. Can I have one?
Oh, yes, no. He's no lounger, this one.
My sodden sleeping chair's bloody...sodden.
Oh, I know. Every night it’s Jeopardy, followed by Wheel of Fortune and a cup of hot cocoa. Look out, girls, this one can’t be tamed!
He'd celebrate the opening of a mailbox with a drink down in the pub.
[1] So she's like a TV star? [2] No, nothing that bad. Bit more violent, though.
We should try shouting 'fire'. It's not technically a crowded theater.
[1] So, I took a look inside that emergency bag of Principal Wood's. [2] And? [1] Smelled weird. Kinda like Grandma's closet, but worse. [2] I didn't know that was possible.
A bidet. Like a bidet of evil.
Shh! Hospital zone. No singing.
Step on what? I've driven tricycles with more power than this.
Well, there you go. Even when he's good he's all Mr. Billowy Coat King of Pain.
To read makes our speaking English good.
Why not call me Horny Giles or Desperate For a Shag Giles?!
[1] I love a ritual sacrifice. [2] It's not really a one of those. [1] To commemorate a past event, you kill and eat an animal. It's a ritual sacrific. With pie.
[1] There are men, better men, wherein the mind is stronger than the penis. [2] Pfft. Nothing can defeat the penis.
A muscle cramp? In your... pants?
She's not just saying that. Hide some in the office sometime and watch her. It's uncanny.
Well, I can't take you in a fight or anything, even with a chip in your head. But you do sleep. If you hurt my sister at all... touch her... you're waking up on fire
All I'm saying is soulless Spike would have had me upside down and half-way to happyland by now.
Danced with is a pretty loose term. Mated with might be a little closer.
One of us has been drinking, and I'm sorry to say it's not me
You filthy harlot! I'm gonna tear your neck out!
How about 'cause you're a tiny impotent Nazi with a bug up his butt the size of an emu?
QuoteWho Said ItSeason, Episode Name
[1] We're safe. Right. And, uh, Spike built a robot Buffy to play checkers with. [2] I-It sounded convincing when I thought it.
[1] Come on. Who's the man? [2] You are. A very short, annoying man.
[1] I happen to be very biteable pal. I'm moist and delicious. [2] Alright, yeah, fine. You're a nummy treat. [1] And don't you forget it.
And there's something else you should know about me. I have no problem spanking men.
Um. I have a really bad idea.
It eats you starting with your bottom.
You're a bloody puppet!
[1] No pulse. [2] Yup. Space lamb got him.
There's blood on this. Lots. Looks like The First made another sacrifice. Or a music video.
[1] What am I gonna do? I think about sex all the time! Sex! Help! 4x5 is 30. 5x6 is 32. Naked girls. Naked women! And naked *name*! Oh, stop me! [2] God, *name*. Is that all you t
[1] I'm sick of being the guy who eats insects and gets the funny syphilis. As of this moment, it's over. I'm finished being everybody's butt-monkey! [2] Check. No more butt monkey
Too squishy. When I was five, Buffy told me they were monkey brains, and...
Who you gonna call? [gets a look from *Buffy*] God, that phrase is never gonna be usable again, is it?
I think Mr. Too-Much-Cologne is the pot calling the kettle stinky.
Are you saying we should start annoying other people?
You're stepping on my moment of manliness here.
[1] And was there a lesson in all this, huh? What did we learn about beer? [2] Foamy. [1] Good. Just as long as that's clear.
We die horribly and painfully. You go to hell, and I spend eternity in the arms of Baby Jesus.
[1] Everyone else is being all twitchy and secretive. [2] They're just trying to keep you safe, I expect. [1] I feel safe with you. [2] Take that back!
[1] So what do we do? [2] Easy. We burn the house to the ground and collect the insurance. Plus, fire. Pretty.
Oh yeah? Says who? [looks at sign] Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. I didn't see the sign.
I don't think you'll want it, but you'll take it, because this is the offer of a lifetime...Just not, you know, mine.
Anchovies anchovies you're so delicious. I love you more than all the other fishes.
[1]Oh, balls! You didn't say he was a Glarghk Guhl Kashmas'nik! [2] 'Cause I can't say Glarba...
Somebody get me a lawyer, because my civil rights have seriously been violated.
No such animal.
[1] What if you just start attracting male demons? [2] Clem always liked you.
[1] I've lived in Sunnydale a couple of years now. You know what I've never noticed before? [2] Uh, a castle? [1] A big, honkin' castle.
Party in my eye socket and everyone's invited.
Hey that's cheating!
[1] I don't know. Xander said... [2] Xander? Oh, he's the deadest man in Deadonia.
Your shirt...
You never know what's coming, the stake is not the power, To Serve Man is a cookbook. I love you. Go away.
[1] Right. You can't just go 'librum incendere' and expect...(book catches fire) [2] *Name*, don't speak Latin in front of the books.
No, sweetie, I am the magics.
[1] If you want him, you're going to have to go through me! [2] Okey dokey.
[1] Touchdown! Go Team Me! [2] Did anyone tell Team You your Quarterback throws like a girl? [1] I do?
Allow me to answer that question with a firing.
My nog tastes funny. I think I got one with rum in it.
I smell a fox in my henhouse.
Hello salty goodness.
[1] There's an old conjuration that the ancient Turks used to communicate with the dying. [2] Oh, yeah. I think I've read a translation?
Someone needs a hug.
That's a weird place for a horn...That's not a horn.
Always walking around like you had a great big stake shoved up your English Channel.
I didn't jump. I took a tiny step and there conclusions were.
Thank God we're pretty.
[1] A bear! You made a bear! [2] I didn't mean to. [1] Undo it! Undo it!
I left my bra in his car.

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