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How'd you get in my phone?
Happy Valentine's Day, by the way.
What party?
Do you not remember scolding that waiter at Chuck E Cheese
You've never stolen anything before?
What's next? You're gonna dress her in fishnets?
Looks like someone has an issue
He thinks he might be allergic to Stella.
You know I raised two fully functional children.
As loud as these two are
This is a place of business
Oh c'mon please
Coming up with a lie like that in the moment?
He's grown up drinking from a breast bigger than his head
Point is - a guy like me gets that lucky
It is really nice to be liked
I was a closeted gay kid at sports camp
By the way
Do we have to put the toilet on the counter?
I'm gonna miss that Juliana
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