| quote | name |
| 'So sue me.... no don't sue me.' | |
| 'Wow that is really hard. You really think you can go all day long? Well, you always left me satisfied and smiling.' | |
| 'Welcome to the Hotel Hell. Check-in time in now, check-out time is never.' | |
| 'I wanna be married and have 100 kids so I can have 100 friends, and no one can say no to being my friend.' | |
| 'It's is she hot?' not 'would you do her?'. Respect the game.' | |
| 'I think I might try girls for a while. Angela thinks I can cross over. We'll see.' | |
| 'Stanley yelled at me today. That was one of the most freighting experiences of my life.' | |
| 'The only difference between me and a homeless man is this job' | |
| 'Mom I'm gonna have to call you back. P is being a giant B.' | |
| 'Why is this so hard? That’s what she said. Oh my God, what am I saying?' | |