Buffy Quotes - Every Episode

Random Television Quiz

Can you name the 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' episode by the given quote?

Quiz not verified by Sporcle

 plays        
How to Play
QuoteEpisodeCharacter
If they're really spying on you all the time, you just say something so you know they'll hear you. Like sometimes, I write fake things in my diary in case...
And the amazing thing? Still more romantic than Faith.
And I've been meaning to cut back on that habit-forming oxygen.
Wait. Handbook? What handbook? How come I don't have a handbook?
I have not only the right, but also a nearly physical sensation of pleasure at the thought of keeping her out of school. I'd describe myself as tingly.
You missed her 'everyone sucks but me' speech. If she's so superior, let her find her own way back.
When you become a vampire, the demon takes your body, but it doesn't get your soul; that's gone. No conscience, no remorse, it's an easy way to live.
My hat has a cow.
I can't! I can't, I ju ... god, I need help. Please! Please help me, please.
Sure. We can work out after school. You know, if you're not too busy having sex with my mother!
This computer invasion that Willow's performing on the coroner's office... One assumes it is entirely legal?
You're in a magic shop, and you can't think what Tara would like. I believe you're both profoundly stupid.
I don't need a guy right now. I need me. I need to get comfortable being alone with Buffy.
Don't. That thing, it wasn't even real. What you did for me and Dawn... that was real. I won't forget it.
Dawn used to be a key. I don't really know what that means.
You are my sister. There's no way you could annoy me so much if you weren't.
I inflicted a lot of putrefying diseases on men when I was an avenging demon, you look like you're getting all of them.
Except ... when I got Xander's message ... you know, that I was ... fading away ... I actually got scared.
Talk, funny is good but don't be glib. And remember, if you hurt her I will beat you to death with a shovel. A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend. Have fun!
To forgive is an act of compassion, Buffy. It's not done because people deserve it, it's done because they need it.
Well the point, Angel, is you're a very powerful young man, good for Faith, and there just may be future for you in Sunnydale.
Y-you never learn, do you? This wasn't about you. This was never about you.
It's not like it's the end of the world. Which is too bad, you know, 'Cause that, I'm really good at.
Have you seen the new library? There's nothing but computers. There's not a book to be seen. I - I don't know where to begin, Buffy. I mean, who do we speak to?
You faced the monster inside of you and you fought back. You risked everything to be a better man. And you can be. You are. You may not see it, but I do. I believe in you, Spike.
This will give them some time to ponder the geo-political ramifications of BEING MEAN TO ME!
Well, I took Psych 101. I mean, I took it from an evil government scientist who was skewered by her Frankenstein-like creation before the final, but I know what a Freudian slip is.
I'm eleven hundred and twenty years old! Just gimme a friggin' beer!
If you think that's enough to kill me, you really don't know what a Slayer is. Trust me when I say you're gonna find out.
If you wanna kill the world? Well, then start with me. I've earned that.
When I think that something could happen to you, it feels bad inside, like I might vomit.
I told you. I-I said 'end of the world', and you're like 'poo-poo, southern California, poo-poo'!
You mean the spell was for me?
He misses you. He doesn't say anything, I mean, but I know he does. And I don't want him to be lonely. I don't want anyone to.
Is he evil?
No actual witches in your witch group.
I think she was afraid of the look you'd get on your face. Kinda like the one you're wearing now.
Can I be blind too?
Out... for... a... walk... bitch.
And the second- the second that happens... You know I'll be there. I'll slip in... have myself a real good day.
OK, not when you make it sound all dirty like that. It's just tea.
It's not enough. I need to fix this. I don't usually get a heads up before somebody dies.
Are we overlooking the idea that she may be very attracted to me? She's possessed.
Dawn... she's not mine is she?
Is that why you're always cleaning your glasses? So you won't have to see what we're doing?
Ok, so that was the evil twin, right? 'Cause she was bordering on Cordelia-esque.
You never train with me anymore. He's gonna kick your ass.
Spike's working for Adam?! After all we've done--nah, I can't even act surprised.
QuoteEpisodeCharacter
I tried to kill my friends, my sister, last week and guess how much they hate me now? Zero. Zero much. So I'm thinking, sleeping with you... They'll deal.
And I'm just supposed to help you out of the evilness of my heart?
Do you remember cheering me on? Both of you! Do you remember giving me Willow's message? 'Kick his ass.'
'Kiss rocks'? Why would anyone want to kiss... Oh, wait. I get it.
A vampire with a soul? How lame is that?
I say it's time for the grownups to take Sunnydale back. I say we start by finding the people who did this and making them pay.
This is the Initiative, Xander. Military people don't make out with science people.
Best thing about a coma, you wake up all rested and rejuvenated and ready for payback.
Not exactly. Seems Anya got her vengeance on again.
I think Spike was right back at the gas station. Snap out of it!
Theory number 5: cat burgers.
A d- Please! A date? You are completely off your bird! I mean - Do you want it to be?
Yeah, Buffy. What are we going to do now?
Willow, it's okay that you're helping Cordelia. We're best friends. I'm not gonna hold it against you.
Besides, if you die, I'll just bring you back to life. That's what I do.
She's kidding. An, we talked about the employee-employer vocabulary no-nos. That was number five.
I refuse to answer that on the grounds that it didn't fit.
Angel, if I'm not the Slayer, what do I do? What do I have to offer? Why would you like me?
I would love to be upstairs watching TV or gossiping about boys or, god, even studying! But I have to save the world. Again.
'Cause I'm not ready for you to not be here.
I was so hoping you'd do that.
You've got Slayer problems. That's a bad piece of luck. Do you know what I find works real good with Slayers? Killing them.
Xander decided that he blames the wall.
Hundred forty-seven days yesterday. Hundred and forty-eight today. 'Cept today doesn't count, does it? How long was it where you were?
The signs?! Read me the signs! Tell me my fortune! You're so useful sitting here with all of your books! You're really a lot of help!
You think I don't watch your movies? You always come back.
Uh, let me make sure I have this right. This witch is casting horrible and disfiguring spells so that she can become a cheerleader?
This is just too much. I mean, yesterday my life's like, 'Uh-oh, pop quiz.' Today it's 'Rain of Toads'.
How come you didn't tell me I look like a crazy birthday cake in this shirt?
Well, at least we all have someone to go with now. Some of us are going with demons, but I think that's a valid lifestyle choice.
You can't be a part of it so I need you to leave. I'm sorry but this is my house too.
Yeah, well, I'm telling Mom you slayed in front of me.
Like you don't have a sick mother, but you'd rather go to a frat party where there's gonna be drinking and older guys and probably an orgy.
Then teach it that dreidel song.
You're referencing literature I have no way to be familiar with. You're trying to make me feel left out, and you're stealing!
Well, it beats being alone all by yourself.
Hey! I was just at the part where he invented the internet.
You can't do that. It's wrong. I'll kick your ass.
So Spike! How's that muscle cramp?
To read makes our speaking English good.
You're rejecting my offer of sexual bribery? What am I, a leper in this town? I can't even give it away!
You're the same Buffy. With a deep tropical cellular tan.
Things used to be pretty simple. A hundred years, just hanging out, feelin' guilty... I really honed my brooding skills. Then she comes along. Yeah, I get jealous.
You think you know ... what's to come ... what you are. You haven't even begun.
I saw you last night. I see you working here today. You’re not special. You’re extraordinary.
Actually, Billy Idol stole his look from- never mind.
Don't taunt the fear demon.
But... cute guy! Teenager! Post-pubescent fantasies!
QuoteEpisodeCharacter
No, I'll only make them for myself, but by California law, you will own half of them.
I did all your assignments. All you have to do is sign your name.
Already been looted, sorry! Uh, try the appliance store down the block, they've got great toasters!
'Are you a people person, or do you prefer keeping your own company?' Well, what if I'm a people person who keeps his own company by default?
You remember, you fail math, you flunk out of school, you end up being the guy at the pizza place that sweeps the floor and says, 'Hey, kids, where's the cool parties this weekend?
She made me feel like a human being. That's not the kind of thing you just forgive.
I think they call 'em 'principals' now.
Sorry, but I'm an old fashioned gal. I was raised to believe that men dig up the corpses and the women have the babies.
Dawn, the hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live. For me.
Time's up. Rules change.
The spark. I wanted to give you... what you deserve. And I got it. They put the spark in me and now all it does is burn.
Good, so you and Riley *aren't* imploding? It doesn't take a genius. What I can't figure out is how you never saw it coming.
It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in.
Did I mention that I'm having a very strange night?
Let me tell you something. When it's dark and I'm all alone, and I'm scared or freaked out or whatever, I always think “What would Buffy do?” You're my hero.
Dreams? That would be a musical comedy version of this.
Anyway, how many people do you think we've saved by now, thousands? And didn't you stop the world from ending? Because in my book, that puts you and me in the plus column.
No, I-I understand. You have to be with the person you l-love.
You do have a superiority complex. And you've got an inferiority complex about it. Kudos.
Willow's a demon!?
Strong is fighting! It's hard, and it's painful, and it's every day. It's what we have to do. And we can do it together.
When I killed him, Angel was cured.
Be free, kittens!
Initiative soldiers, they live here. Experiments happen in the lab under the house. It's where they kept you, put in your chip. Let's have fun!
It's a loop...like the Mummy Hand. I'm doomed to replace these windows for all eternity. You know, maybe we should just board these up until things are less hellmouthy.
Well, see, I like that you're unpredictable.
I mean, three days out of the month, I'm not much fun to be around either.
I don't want any trouble. I just want to be alone and quiet in a room with a chair and a fireplace and a tea cozy. I don't even know what a tea cozy is, but I want one.
Every Christmas, we watch Charlie Brown together, and I do the Snoopy dance.
*I* may be love's bitch, but at least *I'm* man enough to admit it.
Yeah, from this desert gnome in Cairo. He drove a really hard bargain, but I finally got him to throw in a limited-edition Backstreet Boys lunch box for... a friend.
I'm not gonna lie to you. It was scary. I'm so used to you being a grownup, and then I find out that you're a person.
Boy, when they were handing out school spirit, you didn't even stand in line, did you?
Was there a... a school bulletin? Was it i-in the newspaper? Is there anyone in this town who doesn't know I'm the Slayer?
Oh! I know this one! Slaying entails certain sacrifices, blah blah biddy blah, I'm so stuffy, give me a scone.
My first time out, I missed the heart too.
What is this, Demons Anonymous? I don't need an intervention, here.
Aim for the horsies.
Uh, Amy ... three things we have to talk about. One, Larry's gay. Two, Larry's dead. And three, high school's ... kinda over.
Oh, he's a vampire! Of course! But the cuddly kind, like a Care Bear with fangs.
Oh, yeah, you all decided. You sad, sad, ungrateful traitors. Who do you think you are?
When you brought me here, I thought it was to kill me. Instead, you go all Dumbledore on me.
No, no, no way! I wish us into Bizarro-land and you guys are still together? I cannot win!
Oh my God. He's going to do the entire speech.
Nice punch you got there. Lemme guess. Leather pants, nice right cross, doe eyes, holier-than-thou glower...you must be Faith.
I'd like to test that theory.
You think this isn't real just because of all the vampires and demons and ex-vengeance demons and the sister that used to be a big ball of universe-destroying energy?
Xander... He didn't leave a card.

Friend Scores


  Player Best Score Plays Last Played
You You haven't played this game yet.

You Might Also Like...

Extras