| FML | Character |
| Today, my hair was turned into snakes. FML | |
| Today, the man I helped escape from the Labyrinth left me. FML | |
| Today, I spied Artemis bathing and she turned me into a deer. FML | |
| Today, my stepmum tried to kill me with snakes. FML | |
| Today, my love fell in love with himself. FML | |
| Today, my mum threw me out of Mount Olympus because I'm 'special'. FML | |
| Today, I was bound to a rock and a vulture's gonna eat my liver. Just because I was nice to people. FML | |
| Today, I was told to hold up the world. FML | |
| Today, my kids overthrew my reign. FML | |
| Today, I was told I could predict the future, only to find out nobody believes me. FML | |
| Today, Zeus abducted my sister Europa. FML | |
| Today, I forgot I wasn't supposed to look at my wife. She died. FML | |
| | FML | Character |
| Today, I was abducted by the king of the underworld. FML | |
| Today, I caused a war. FML | |
| Today, my idiot son forgot to change sails. I drowned myself. FML | |
| Today, I flew too close to the sun and died. FML | |
| Today, I was bound to a fiery wheel which won't stop spinning. FML | |
| Today, I was turned into a woman because I killed a snake. FML | |
| Today, the rock I just rolled up a hill came back down again. I have to do this forever. FML | |
| Today, I found out my godly husband has been distracting me from his affairs. FML | |
| Today, someone found my weak spot. FML | |
| Today, I realised I can't touch food or drink. FML | |
| Today, I turned my daughter into gold. FML | |
| Today, my dad ate all my brothers and sisters and I was just saved. FML | |
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