| Quote | Character |
| You didn't find me. You collapsed a building on me. | |
| They're dangerous at both ends and... crafty in the middle. Why would I want anything with a mind of its own bobbing about between my legs? | |
| Perhaps it's better for one to die alone than to live life in an eternal purgatory. | |
| I know you can hear me, you selfish bastard! | |
| Are you sure you want to play this game? | |
| Get out of the way, get out of the way. I'm warning ye. I warned ye. | |
| I'm not going out with you dressed like that. | |
| Why do you have a gun stuffed down the back of your trousers? | |
| Lie down with me, Watson. | |
| Brace yourself, we're about to be violated. | |
| I'm on my honeymoon! | |
| How dare you be rude to the woman who's invited us inside her tent, offered us her hedgehog. | |
| Shame. I was looking forward to seeing Don Giovanni. | |
| I said make it count! How many windows must I provide? | |
| I should have brought you a sedative. | |
| That was no accident. It was by design | |
| I don't blame you. I blame myself. | |
| Says the man who throws women off trains. | |
| | Quote | Character |
| Where are you going, Stanley? | |
| What are you playing at?...That's not fair. | |
| You mean there's two of you? How marvelous! Could this evening get any better? | |
| Do you need me to elaborate? Or can we just crack on? | |
| I miss him too, you know, in my own way. | |
| You can't mean Dr. Watson, surely? [grimaces] That doesn't seem fair. | |
| Who's been dancing on my chest! | |
| Bishop to bishop eight....discover check...and incidentally....mate. | |
| Be careful with the face boys, we have a dinner date tonight. | |
| If we can stop him, we shall prevent the collapse of Western civilization... No pressure. | |
| Did you just kill my new wife? | |
| Don't fill up on bread. | |
| You know, he's nothing like as slow witted as you've been leading me to believe, Sherly. | |
| Good evening, Mrs Watson. I'm the other Holmes. | |
| To the opera! | |
| We are waiting. I am smoking. | |
| He's all me, me, me, isn't he? | |
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