Geography / Conan O'Brien Hates My Homeland: D - G

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Can you name the country Conan is insulting (letters D - G)?

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Conan's PunchlineCountry
Imagine how great life would be if you had the rich natural resources of Ethiopia.
You gave us the term 'deja vu', as in 'Wow, I have this weird feeling you've been obnoxiuous and arrogant before. Deja vu!'
The perfect place for anyone who's ever asked themself 'Where'd my car go?'
The Eskimos have sixty words for 'snow'. The [country citizens] have eighty words for 'dysentery.'
Even the guinea pigs have the good sense to claim they're actually from Peru.
Where even the poor boy with no prospects can grow up to be run over by a presidential motorcade.
Where the Mayans invented zero, as in 'What are the chances this shirt was made by someone over the age of eight? Zero.'
Home of the European flying squirrel, the only [country possessive] mammal that's not an alcoholic.
Where no resume is complete without the phrase 'Supervised a six-person death squad.'
Where priceless ancient statues and mummies are so close, you can fly to London and see them at the British Museum.
When you're at the end of a grueling fifteen-hour day peeling the husks off nutmeg, remember this: without you, the world would have to sprinkle its eggnog with cinnamon.
The only book that mentions it is The Audubon Guide to Locusts.
You only have one TV station, but cheer up - it's got locust reports on the eights.
Where the national catchphrase is 'I'm sorry officer, I didn't mean to interrupt you armed robbery.'
Conan's PunchlineCountry
You have to question a country that grants five terms to a man called 'President Bongo.'
The 'h' is silent, like a room full of people after you ask 'What's worthwhile in [country's name]?'
Too bad you can't build a warm, sunny day out of Legos.
The only nation brave enough to say 'Let those off-shore oil reserves wait. We've got a good thing going with these peanuts and palm kernels.'
The great 20th century power that said, 'Ditch Einstein, get Hasselhoff.'
Where Europe meets Asia and says 'Hey, why don't we both dump our crap here?'
It takes a lot to admit you live on the bad side of [second part of country name].
Big news: Historians now think the first marathon took place in August 490 BC, not September. That means that nothing good has come out of [country name] for a month longer than pr
Street crime is on the rise, so keep your ransom note in an inside pocket.
Congratulations, you just discovered vast oil reserves...I mean, we just discovered vast oil reserves. *evil laugh*
You've had over 5,000 years of culture, and the world's most famous [country's citizen] is still Huckleberry.
If you're visiting [country name], you have to go snorkling, 'cause it's the best way to flee cannibals.
I can't do this one, let's move on.

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