Geography / Conan O'Brien Hates My Homeland: A - C

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Can you name the countries Conan is insulting (letters A - C)?

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Conan's PunchlineCountry
The only European country to never successfully invade Belgium.
On a list of the world's purchasing power, you're ranked 222. Did I mention there are only 190 countries?
So what if you misplaced a little weapons-grade uranium? The important thing is keeping track of all those hand-made doileys and goat hair rugs.
Where the Mediterranean climate makes it a joy to spend each day mining asbestos.
Diamonds are forever; too bad your people check out at 35.
The perfect getaway for people who love Kosovo, but hate the working phone service.
Good news: Ustad Ali Khan is headlining the Locust Plague Festival
Nothing spells a bright future like signing your peace accord in Dayton, Ohio.
How many temples does it take before you guys realize God isn't listening?
You'll come for the enticing beauty of the Caribbean Sea. You'll stay because you've been kidnapped and locked in the trunk of a dodge dart.
In the traditional tribal language, that [first word of country name] for 'land of' and [second part of country name] for 'people who want to get the hell out of [country name].'
Believe it or not, you can use oil for more than just killing seals.
Remember kids, you must be at least nine years old to overthrow the government.
How does it feel, being Luxembourg's b****?
Get your camera; they're paving a road!
The country that explains why Kafka never wrote a happy story.
Home to more than 800 species of unregulated breast implants.
The good news is, it's finally legal to get a divorce. The bad news is, who gets the active volcano and who gets the 55,000 square miles of lifeless desert.
Cocoa, sugar, and mass killings. Are you a country or a Willy Wonka nightmare?
Where 'high-tech' means you've got a radio on your homemade raft.
Conan's PunchlineCountry
So they took away your freedom of the press? Who needs it when your only headline is '[Country] Continues to Suck?'
A thriving center of trade and culture...until 2000 BC.
There simply isn't a more beautiful island...to sail by on your way to Jamaica.
Hey, call me when your life expectancy catches up with your inflation rate.
If you're gonna be in prison, it might as well be for no reason.
It took you eight years to beat France.
With massive overpopulation threatening the globe, [country citizens] maintain a population of less than 35 million. How do they do it? Zero sex appeal.
All that coffee in a country with no reason to wake up.
So bad, the gorillas learn sign language for 'poach me.'
If there was ever an argument for the death penalty, it's chicken smuggling.
Clay, sand, and chalk: your richest natural resources are what a toddler throws up after a big day at preschool.
Keep practicing those voodoo spells and maybe someday, you'll be as rich as Rwanda.
Not to be mistaken for the macaroon, a small chewy cookie...with a longer life expectancy.
The bad news is, there's a new article about everyone farming opium. The good news is, you can't read.
If you can hear this, your television isn't underwater. Congratulations!
Congratulations for your candidacy for the EU. Imagine if that comes through, it could employ two, maybe three people.
Millions visit your island nation...to refuel their planes.
It takes a lot of rum to forget your major export is crawfish.
Thanks for giving us a place to dump our potheads.

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