Conan O'Brien Hates My Homeland: A - C

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Can you name the countries Conan is insulting (letters A - C)?

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Conan's PunchlineCountry
You'll come for the enticing beauty of the Caribbean Sea. You'll stay because you've been kidnapped and locked in the trunk of a dodge dart.
The country that explains why Kafka never wrote a happy story.
In the traditional tribal language, that [first word of country name] for 'land of' and [second part of country name] for 'people who want to get the hell out of [country name].'
How does it feel, being Luxembourg's b****?
All that coffee in a country with no reason to wake up.
Where the Mediterranean climate makes it a joy to spend each day mining asbestos.
How many temples does it take before you guys realize God isn't listening?
Congratulations for your candidacy for the EU. Imagine if that comes through, it could employ two, maybe three people.
Get your camera; they're paving a road!
So what if you misplaced a little weapons-grade uranium? The important thing is keeping track of all those hand-made doileys and goat hair rugs.
If there was ever an argument for the death penalty, it's chicken smuggling.
Cocoa, sugar, and mass killings. Are you a country or a Willy Wonka nightmare?
Home to more than 800 species of unregulated breast implants.
Remember kids, you must be at least nine years old to overthrow the government.
There simply isn't a more beautiful island...to sail by on your way to Jamaica.
Hey, call me when your life expectancy catches up with your inflation rate.
Not to be mistaken for the macaroon, a small chewy cookie...with a longer life expectancy.
Diamonds are forever; too bad your people check out at 35.
So bad, the gorillas learn sign language for 'poach me.'
Millions visit your island nation...to refuel their planes.
Conan's PunchlineCountry
If you're gonna be in prison, it might as well be for no reason.
Believe it or not, you can use oil for more than just killing seals.
The perfect getaway for people who love Kosovo, but hate the working phone service.
Keep practicing those voodoo spells and maybe someday, you'll be as rich as Rwanda.
On a list of the world's purchasing power, you're ranked 222. Did I mention there are only 190 countries?
Where 'high-tech' means you've got a radio on your homemade raft.
So they took away your freedom of the press? Who needs it when your only headline is '[Country] Continues to Suck?'
Clay, sand, and chalk: your richest natural resources are what a toddler throws up after a big day at preschool.
With massive overpopulation threatening the globe, [country citizens] maintain a population of less than 35 million. How do they do it? Zero sex appeal.
The bad news is, there's a new article about everyone farming opium. The good news is, you can't read.
If you can hear this, your television isn't underwater. Congratulations!
The only European country to never successfully invade Belgium.
Good news: Ustad Ali Khan is headlining the Locust Plague Festival
The good news is, it's finally legal to get a divorce. The bad news is, who gets the active volcano and who gets the 55,000 square miles of lifeless desert.
It takes a lot of rum to forget your major export is crawfish.
Nothing spells a bright future like signing your peace accord in Dayton, Ohio.
A thriving center of trade and culture...until 2000 BC.
Thanks for giving us a place to dump our potheads.
It took you eight years to beat France.

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