Conan O'Brien Hates My Homeland: A - C

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Can you name the countries Conan is insulting (letters A - C)?

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Conan's PunchlineCountry
Thanks for giving us a place to dump our potheads.
It takes a lot of rum to forget your major export is crawfish.
Hey, call me when your life expectancy catches up with your inflation rate.
In the traditional tribal language, that [first word of country name] for 'land of' and [second part of country name] for 'people who want to get the hell out of [country name].'
There simply isn't a more beautiful island...to sail by on your way to Jamaica.
Remember kids, you must be at least nine years old to overthrow the government.
How many temples does it take before you guys realize God isn't listening?
The country that explains why Kafka never wrote a happy story.
It took you eight years to beat France.
The bad news is, there's a new article about everyone farming opium. The good news is, you can't read.
Good news: Ustad Ali Khan is headlining the Locust Plague Festival
Cocoa, sugar, and mass killings. Are you a country or a Willy Wonka nightmare?
The perfect getaway for people who love Kosovo, but hate the working phone service.
On a list of the world's purchasing power, you're ranked 222. Did I mention there are only 190 countries?
How does it feel, being Luxembourg's b****?
The good news is, it's finally legal to get a divorce. The bad news is, who gets the active volcano and who gets the 55,000 square miles of lifeless desert.
Get your camera; they're paving a road!
You'll come for the enticing beauty of the Caribbean Sea. You'll stay because you've been kidnapped and locked in the trunk of a dodge dart.
Not to be mistaken for the macaroon, a small chewy cookie...with a longer life expectancy.
The only European country to never successfully invade Belgium.
Conan's PunchlineCountry
Keep practicing those voodoo spells and maybe someday, you'll be as rich as Rwanda.
If there was ever an argument for the death penalty, it's chicken smuggling.
A thriving center of trade and culture...until 2000 BC.
Home to more than 800 species of unregulated breast implants.
Nothing spells a bright future like signing your peace accord in Dayton, Ohio.
If you're gonna be in prison, it might as well be for no reason.
Millions visit your island nation...to refuel their planes.
With massive overpopulation threatening the globe, [country citizens] maintain a population of less than 35 million. How do they do it? Zero sex appeal.
Where 'high-tech' means you've got a radio on your homemade raft.
So bad, the gorillas learn sign language for 'poach me.'
So they took away your freedom of the press? Who needs it when your only headline is '[Country] Continues to Suck?'
Clay, sand, and chalk: your richest natural resources are what a toddler throws up after a big day at preschool.
All that coffee in a country with no reason to wake up.
Congratulations for your candidacy for the EU. Imagine if that comes through, it could employ two, maybe three people.
So what if you misplaced a little weapons-grade uranium? The important thing is keeping track of all those hand-made doileys and goat hair rugs.
Diamonds are forever; too bad your people check out at 35.
If you can hear this, your television isn't underwater. Congratulations!
Believe it or not, you can use oil for more than just killing seals.
Where the Mediterranean climate makes it a joy to spend each day mining asbestos.

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