Southern-Style Hamlet quotations: Act V, Scene ii

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Can you name the speaker of Southern-style Hamlet quotations?

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Pre-Duel
'I implored the King uh England to whip the stew outta them egg-sucking dogs, now they're graveyard dead' 
'If you ain't havin dinner at the Governor's Mansion, I gotta message from your Uncle' 
'It's hotter than a billy goat in a pepper patch' 
'A yankee man called Laertes just drifted in, and he's finer 'n froghair. His behavior's good enough to make you smack your granny!' 
'Yer uncle has bet high cotton on ya, and he's prepared ya to go to fist city with Laertes'  
'Compared to you, he's so clumsy he'd trip over a cordless phone. I reckon you'll whip him so hard, he won't be able to sit for a week' 
'Osric don't seem to be playin' with a full deck' 
'I ain't forgiven ya yet because I'm so angry, I could tear up a railroad track with a rubber hammer!' 
[sarcasm] 'You'll knock me into next week' 
'Since Laertes'd be on you like white on rice, we've given you a handicap, so don't go gittin yer gussie up' 
'Trumpeters, make it so noisy that I can't even hear myself think, and judges, straighten up and fly right!' 
Duel
'I need to stay sober as a judge while I go to town with this yankee' 
'Hamlet's too pooped to pop, and I'm so thirsty I could drink the well dry' 
'Gertrude, you don't want to be as drunk as a farmer!' 
'I'll getcha this time; ya better give yer heart to Jesus, 'cause your butt is mine!' 
'Break it up! They're overdoin' it, actin' crazier than road-runnin' lizards' 
'Both of ya look all tuckered out. How ya feelin, Hamlet?' 
'My own plan's done made me a stuck duck in a dry pond' 
Post-Duel
'The queen's kinda sickly; she's been worn to a frazzle' 
'The king's the meanest person God ever put breathe in. He done caused three deaths.' 
'Claudius, I'll slap you to sleep, then I'll slap you for sleepin' 
'The King done got what was comin to him' 
'You go'a tell it now. Yer the last man standin' 
'Another yankee's done arrived.' 
'I been running all over hell's half acre; now I get here, and the rodeo's done ended' 
'Hamlet sure is the bee's knees. I reckon he deserves the burial of Robert E. Lee' 

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Created Apr 4, 2011ReportNominate
Tags:act, hamlet, quotation, scene, speaker