| Joke | Comedian | Position |
|---|
| 'I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.' | |
| 'Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.' | |
| 'People say 'I'm taking it one day at a time'. You know what? So is everybody. That's how time works.' | |
| 'Drive-Thru McDonalds was more expensive than I thought... once you've hired the car...' | |
| 'I was playing chess with my friend and he said, 'Let's make this interesting'. So we stopped playing chess.' | |
| | Joke | Comedian | Position |
|---|
| 'My mother told me, you don't have to put anything in your mouth you don't want to. Then she made me eat broccoli, which felt like double standards.' | |
| 'I was in a band which we called The Prevention, because we hoped people would say we were better than The Cure.' | |
| 'Someone asked me recently - what would I rather give up, food or sex. Neither! I'm not falling for that one again, wife.' | |
| 'I admire these phone hackers. I think they have a lot of patience. I can't even be bothered to check my OWN voicemails.' | |
| 'My friend died doing what he loved ... Heroin.' | |
|
Seven Dirty Words
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