| Lyrics | Song |
| She said the theme of the party was the industrial age/ And you came in dressed like a trainwreck | |
| The 80s almost killed me/ Let's not remember it quite so fondly | |
| Remember that night that we thought John Barryman could fly/ But he didn't so he died | |
| One more calls while the other texts/ She's got boys on board and boys on deck | |
| And the kids at the shows/ They'll have kids of their own/ The sing-along songs become our scriptures | |
| Gonna walk around and drink some more/ Gonna walk around and drink some more/ Gonna walk around Gonna walk around Gonna walk around and drink | |
| Like distance don't equal rate and time no more | |
| She got screwed up by religion/ She got screwed by soccer players | |