Comedy Central Presents!

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Can you name the comedians from the two Best of Comedy Central Presents DVDs from one of their famous jokes?

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Famous JokeComedian
Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!
A baby, if you break it down logically, is a tiny human being and its shirtless which is really creepy. Its a shirtless bald human being with a bag of its own crap around its waist
One day talking to special fred. He grabbed a brick and he swung at my head. And as he laughed at me, that's when I knew, that special fred just made me special too
We've gone from Eisenhower to George W. Bush. We've gone from John F. Kennedy to Al Gore. If this is evolution, I believe that in 12 years, we'll be voting for plants.
Peanut Butter and jelly in the same jar. I’m lazy but… I want to meet the guy who needs that. “I could go for a sandwich, but I’m not gonna open two jars'
Babies are just the smallest, drunkest people you've ever seen. Every conversation is the same as with your drunk buddy. What's wrong dude? Why are you crying? Oh look he threw up!
If you had to eat another human to survive, do you think they'd taste like their ethnic background? You can get as uncomfortable as you want. We are still going to do this joke.
The doctor found something in my bladder and when they find something, its never anything good like, We found something in your bladder AND ITS SEASON TICKETS TO THE YANKEES!!
Famous JokeComedian
Have you ever had the Hot Pocket Hot Pocket? It’s Hot Pocket inside a Hot Pocket. Tastes just like a Hot Pocket.
I like to go to really bad movies during their sixth week, and there's only one other person in the entire theatre... and I like to sit right next to them.
What the Green Bay Packers should do is retire Brett Favre's number. Not just from football but from the entire numerical system. One Two Three Favre Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten.
I was on the street. This guy waved to me, and he came up to me and said, “I’m sorry, I thought you were someone else.” And I said, “I am.”
WHAT! WE CANT TALK AT THE SAME TIME! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk, WE CAN'T DO IT!
I have little compassion for people in trailer parks who refuse to move after getting tornado warnings. How hard is it for them to relocate? Their houses have wheels.
Next time you go to a party, a great big party, go into the room where all the coats are, and sh*t on the coats.
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.

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