| Quotes | |
|---|
| You think this was hard? Try auditioning for Baywatch and being told they're going in another direction. That was hard. | |
| Aw hell to the naw! Look, I’m not down with this background singing nonsense! I’m Beyonce, I ain’t no Kelly Rowland! | |
| I know our relationship isn't perfect... you cried that one time my elbow rubbed your breast. | |
| I'm a girl who knows her solvents, and your breath smells like rubbing alcohol. | |
| Your commitment to football is about as long as your pants. | |
| I have to go. They'll think I'm pooping | |
| Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks? | |
| I had sex with you because you got me drunk on wine coolers and I felt fat that day. But it was a mistake. | |
| Who is Josh Groban!? Kill Yourself! | |
| Makeovers are like crack to me. | |
| Aside from nudity and the exploitation of animals, I'll pretty much do anything to break into the business | |
| This is where our daughter or gay son will sleep! | |
| I'm like a lizard. I need something warm beneath me or I can't digest my food. | |
| I know. I've known since you were three. All you wanted for your birthday was a sensible pair of heels. | |
| They found out we've been serving the children prison food. | |
| Sober? I’m rolling on a fist full of horse tranquilizers. I can’t feel my lips | |
| We're planning on smacking them down like the hand of God | |
| Did you know there's a forum on my blog that's begging you to stop rapping? | |
| You could be my very own Situation. | |
| Dude, my bowels have better moves than you. | |
SNL Quotes 
Seinfeld Characters 
Movie Quotes III
