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Can you name the Stand-Up Comedians?
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Link these famous jokes/funny stories with the stand-up comedian/comedienne who told them.
'A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.'
BK Lounge, Nothing fights, Car Alarm
No Cure for Cancer, NyQuil
Two Commandments, 7 Bad Words
Oh, God!, 18 Again!
Clayton Bigsby, 'I'm rich b*tch!'
Buckwheat, Grandpa Klump
Take it Like a Man, Dirty Girl
Wino Dealing With Dracula, Black Hollywood
80's Metal, 'At Midnight I Will Kill George Lucas with a Shovel'
A Wild and Crazy Guy!
'I see cards that say 'Get Well Soon.' F*** that. Get well now.'
'She has man hands.', 'No soup for you!', 'Yada yada yada.'
'I'm f***ing Matt Damon.'
'You can stump any stoner with one question: What were we just talking about?'
Little Tortilla Boy
'My name is Matt Foley, and I live in a van down by the river.'
'They call me Tater Salad', 'Diamonds... That'll shut her up!'
'I get no respect!'
'Because I would be Awesome Man/Drug-Free Boy/Immigration Dude/Justice Guy.'
'We had gay burglar's the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.'
'I can't wait for the next fad though, and I predict it's going to be Pennsylvania dutch culture, very Amish. It's going to be bonnets and butter churns.'
'It's nice to finally get scripts offered to me that aren't the ones Tom Hanks wipes his butt with.'
'Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.'
'Don't interrupt. Rude.', 'Don't play!', 'Securrity! This dude need to go!'
'The Republicans are the party of bad ideas. The Democrats are the party of no ideas.'
'In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.'
'Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.'
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