Tom Cruise: I know this, I got it. It's right up here. I got it, I know it, I know it, it's right up here. I got it--[buzzer sounds]

Alex Trebek: You mean in the stocks or a pillory?
Jeff Goldblum: Yes, exactly.

Sean Connery: Ah! Well met! I'll take Months That Start With Feb, Trebek.
Alex Trebek: For how much?

Sean Connery: I turned out your mother last night!
Alex Trebek: I'm ignoring you!

Tom Hanks: Uh, uh, I'll take $600.
Alex Trebek: In what category?
Tom Hanks: The... Video Daily Double.

Alex Trebek: Sharon Osbourne, see what you wrote... Oh my lord. That's the filthiest word I've ever seen.
Sharon Osbourne: Yes, well Minnie wrote it. Hurray!

Alex Trebek: This racing movie with Dom DeLuise told us that yes cannonballs can run...Cannonballs can run.

Sean Connery: That sure is a nice jacket. Just one more question.
Alex Trebek: What is it, Sean?

Bjork: Sometimes when I'm putting oranges in the sauerkraut, I think of my thoughts and they make me laugh.

Alex Trebek: Keanu Reeves has an impressive -$32,000.
Keanu Reeves: I know Kung Fu.

Sean Connery: Ursula Andress, Catherine Deneuve, and Charo, twice.

Alex Trebek: Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. I thought we were done with this, but Regis Philbin, that mongrel idiot, decided to do a Celebrity Millionaire.

Burt Reynolds: Hey. Hey, ah.. check out the podium. Look at this.

Sean Connery: What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold?

Alex Trebek: You're playing for charity!

[Martha Stewart buzzes in]
Alex Trebek: Martha Stewart?
Martha Stewart: I'm so terribly lonely.

Alex Trebek: That having been said, let's take a look at the scores. Sean Connery is in first place with zero.