Mitch Hedberg or Steven Wright?

Random Entertainment or Word Play Quiz

Can you name the correct comedian for each joke?

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JokeMitch or Steven?
I was going to get my teeth whitened, but then I said, I'll just get a tan instead.
Rice is great if you're hungry and want two thousand of something.
I got food poisoning the other day. I don't know how I'm going to use it.
Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus or just a really cool opotamus?
Hermits have no peer pressure.
Dogs are forever in the push-up position.
I cannot tell you what hotel I'm staying at, but there are two trees involved.
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
I went to the store and bought eight apples; the clerk said, 'Do you want these in a bag?' I said, 'Oh, no, man, I juggle.'
I was walking down the street with a friend, and he said, 'I hear music.' As if there was any other way you can take it in. That's how I perceive it too. You are not special.
Babies don't need vacations, but I still see them at the beach.
I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
I thought my teeth were white until I washed my face with Noxzema. They are off-white.
I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
I bought myself a parrot, but it did not say 'I'm hungry', so it died.
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
I tried to walk into Target, but I missed. I think the entrance to Target should have people splattered all around.
I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.

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