| Joke | Mitch or Steven? |
|---|
| I was going to get my teeth whitened, but then I said, I'll just get a tan instead. | |
| Rice is great if you're hungry and want two thousand of something. | |
| I got food poisoning the other day. I don't know how I'm going to use it. | |
| Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus or just a really cool opotamus? | |
| Hermits have no peer pressure. | |
| Dogs are forever in the push-up position. | |
| I cannot tell you what hotel I'm staying at, but there are two trees involved. | |
| I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. | |
| I went to the store and bought eight apples; the clerk said, 'Do you want these in a bag?' I said, 'Oh, no, man, I juggle.' | |
| I was walking down the street with a friend, and he said, 'I hear music.' As if there was any other way you can take it in. That's how I perceive it too. You are not special. | |
| Babies don't need vacations, but I still see them at the beach. | |
| I like to reminisce with people I don't know. | |
| I thought my teeth were white until I washed my face with Noxzema. They are off-white. | |
| I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. | |
| I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically. | |
| My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted. | |
| I bought myself a parrot, but it did not say 'I'm hungry', so it died. | |
| I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. | |
| I tried to walk into Target, but I missed. I think the entrance to Target should have people splattered all around. | |
| I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car. | |
| I was going to get my teeth whitened, but then I said, I'll just get a tan instead. | |
| Rice is great if you're hungry and want two thousand of something. | |
| I got food poisoning the other day. I don't know how I'm going to use it. | |
| Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus or just a really cool opotamus? | |
| Hermits have no peer pressure. | |
| Dogs are forever in the push-up position. | |
| I cannot tell you what hotel I'm staying at, but there are two trees involved. | |
| I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. | |
| I went to the store and bought eight apples; the clerk said, 'Do you want these in a bag?' I said, 'Oh, no, man, I juggle.' | |
| I was walking down the street with a friend, and he said, 'I hear music.' As if there was any other way you can take it in. That's how I perceive it too. You are not special. | |
| Babies don't need vacations, but I still see them at the beach. | |
| I like to reminisce with people I don't know. | |
| I thought my teeth were white until I washed my face with Noxzema. They are off-white. | |
| I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. | |
| I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically. | |
| My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted. | |
| I bought myself a parrot, but it did not say 'I'm hungry', so it died. | |
| I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. | |
| I tried to walk into Target, but I missed. I think the entrance to Target should have people splattered all around. | |
| I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car. | |
Chat Acronyms (Common)
Seven Dirty Words
3 Letter Body Parts
