| Quote | Character |
| 'It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.' | |
| 'Oh, it's a big pretty white plane with red stripes, curtains in the windows and wheels and it looks like a big Tylenol.' | |
| 'There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?' | |
| 'You ever seen a grown man naked?' | |
| 'No... that's just what they'll be expecting us to do!' | |
| 'Surely there must be something you can do.' | |
| 'Oh stewardess! I speak jive.' | |
| 'Shanna, they bought their tickets, they knew what they were getting into. I say, let 'em crash.' | |
| 'No sir, I've never been up in a plane before.' | |
| 'Johnny, what can you make out of this?' | |