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French Military History
Can you name the wars from French history according to Albino Black Sheep?
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Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. Or at this time in history, a Roman.
58 B.C. to 51 B.C.
Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare: 'France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman.'
Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.
France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots
France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.
Lost, but claimed as a tie. Loses all North American holdings.
France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as 'de Gaulle Syndrome'
Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.
Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.
Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.
On the way to losing, France is saved by the USA. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her 'Fraulein'
Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.
Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu
Lost. Produces the 1st Rule of Muslim Warfare: 'We can always beat the French.' Rule is identical to the 1st Rules of the Italy, Russia, Germany, England, Spain, Vietnam, & Eskimos
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