| Quote | Speaker | Book |
|---|
| Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have | |
| IN THE NAME OF MERLIN'S SAGGY LEFT---- | |
| I have gone temporarily deaf and haven't any idea what you said, Harry | |
| Anyone can speak troll. All you have to do is point and grunt! | |
| 'A study of Hogwarts prefects and their later careers'. Blimey that sounds fascinating | |
| Then why does it have the name 'Roonil Wazlib' written on the front cover? | |
| The Aurors are part of the Rotfang Conspiracy, everyone knows that. They're working to bring down the Ministry of Magic using a combination of Dark magic and gum disease | |
| I must have missed it. However, due to a lucky mistake I arrived at the Ministry three hours early, so no harm done | |
| Blimey--a baby! | |
| Interesting theory. Has anyone ever tried sticking a sword through Voldemort? Maybe someone at the Ministry should get on that. | |
| Where's the cannon! | |
| We believe that the dementors are currently taking direction from lord---thingy | |
| There's no need to call me 'sir', professor | |
| Once again, you show all the sensitivity of a blunt axe | |
| Oh, of course! I forgot we'll be hunting down Voldemort in a mobile library | |
| Year, Quirrell was a great teacher. There was just that minor drawback of him having Lord Voldemort sticking out of the back of his head | |
| Dementy-whatzits | |
| Enchantingly nasty. I particularly enjoyed your description of me as an obsolete dingbat | |
| Yeah, get out of the way! Harry's off to the Chamber of Secrets for a cup of tea with his fanged servant | |
| Why spiders? Why couldn't it be 'follow the butterflies'? | |
| Nobody's ever asked me to a party before, as a friend! Is that why you dyed your eyebrow, for the party? Should I do mine, too? | |
| You know your mother, Malfoy? The expression on her face - like she's got dung under her nose? Is she like that all the time or just because you were with her? | |
| I may be as woefully wrong as Humphrey Belcher, who believed the time was ripe for a cheese cauldron | |
| You know what, Harry? If he doesn't stop trying to save your life, he's going to kill you! | |
| You're dead Potter! | |
| | Quote | Speaker | Book |
|---|
| You look in excellent health to me, Potter, so you will excuse me if I don’t let you off homework today. I assure you that if you die, you need not hand it in | |
| I shudder to think what the state of my in-tray would be if I was away from work for five whole days. | |
| Wow, I wonder what it'd be like, having a difficult life | |
| You are the most insensitive old wart I have ever had the misfortune to meet | |
| What would your head have been doing in Hogsmeade, Potter? Your head is not allowed in Hogsmeade. In fact, no part of your body has permission to be in Hogsmeade | |
| I thought the egg sounded a bit like Percy singing... maybe you've got to attack him while he's in the shower, Harry | |
| Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business | |
| Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git | |
| I haven't blushed so much since Madame Pomfrey told me she liked my new earmuffs | |
| He can move faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo | |
| His life's ambition is to have his head cut off and stuck up on a plaque like his mother. Does that sound normal to you? | |
| Don't put your wand there, boy! Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know! | |
| The poor toilet’s never had anything as horrible as your head down it- it might be sick | |
| Well, usually when a person shakes their head, they mean 'no.' So unless Miss Edgecombe is using a form of sign language as yet unknown to humans -- | |
| This is night, Diddykins. That's what we call it when it goes all dark like this | |
| Percy wouldn't recognize a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing Dobby's tea cozy | |
| Three Dementor attacks in a week, and all Romilda Vane does is ask me if it's true you've got a Hippogriff tattooed across your chest | |
| I would assume that you were going to offer me refreshment, but the evidence so far suggests that that would be optimistic to the point of foolishness | |
| You can't give a dementor the old one-two | |
| That'll change the world, that report will. Front page of the Daily Prophet, I expect, cauldron leaks. | |
| Honestly, if you were any slower, you'd be going backward | |
| Professor Kettleburn, our Care of Magical Creatures teacher, retired at the end of last year in order to enjoy more time with his remaining limbs | |
| You don't want to bottle your anger up like that, Harry, let it all out. There might be a couple people 50 miles away who didn't hear you | |
| I was watching him take the exam. His nose was touching the parchment.There'll be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word | |
| Yeah, once the wedding's over, we'll have nothing to do except find Horcruxes....It'll be like a holiday, won't it? | |
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