Breaking Bad Quotes - Every Episode

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Can you name the episode from which the following Breaking Bad quotes are taken?

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'Smoking marijuana, eating Cheetos, and masturbating do not constitute plans in my book.'
'You know, Walter sometimes it doesn't hurt to have someone watching your back.'
'My legs don't work that way.'
'If I had just lived right up to that moment and not one second more that would have been perfect.'
'Dude, play some Jethro Tull.'
'We tried to poison you, because you're an insane, degenerate piece of filth, and you deserve to die.'
'I don't suppose you could kiss my ass?'
'Uh, is Gustavo Fring your real name?'
'I'm just not the man I thought I was. I think I'm done as a cop.'
'Why? Because your boss is gonna need me.'
'Jesse, why? Why, in God's name, would I poison a child?'
'Last chance to look at me, Hector.'
'Hey, baby. I got him. Dead to rights.'
'Whole thing felt kinda shady, you know, like, morality-wise?'
'You wanna talk methylamine? Then tell your partner to stop threatening me, and let's talk.'
'There was no fugue state. I remember everything.'
'Where did that come from? And why was it so damn good?'
'You know, he is- he is smarter than you, he is luckier than you.'
'First things first, you're gonna put a dollar in my pocket, both of you.'
' I wouldn't trust these two to break into the Special Olympics.'
'You know, I didn't give the box to my mom. I traded it for an ounce of weed.'
'You ever smoke anything else, Wendy? Sausages don't count.'
'Look, if selling the methylamine now means that no one else ever gets killed, then I vote for that, man.'
'Catalytic hydrogenation - is it protic or aprotic? Because I forget.'
'Yeah, bitch! Magnets!'
'Oh, I lived in London for years, so yeah, this feels familiar.'
'They found water on Mars.'
'Todd, I think it's time I meet your uncle.'
' Did Jesse really I mean, did he really squash that dude's head with an ATM machine?'
'Marie - Get out.'
'You are not the guy. You're not capable of being the guy. I had a guy, but now I don't.'
'The agent's name is Hank Schrader. May his death satisfy you.'
'I sure as hell didn't find myself locked in a trunk or on my knees with a gun to my head before your greedy old ass came along...'
'Stay out of my territory.'
'And I'm assuming you don't have stevia? Never mind. I brought my own.'
'Skank, skank, skank ass skank!'
'When I went out this morning to get the newspaper I saw a pizza on our roof.'
'You are not welcome here. The DEA is not welcome here.'
'The day Brock was born, I swore I won't let what happened to Tomas, happen to my son.'
'Wayfare 5-1-5 Albuquerque Center, roger.'
'Woodrow Wilson? Willy Wonka? Walter White?'
'You got one part of that wrong. This is not meth.'
'This is my advice, and you should take it: Sue your husband for divorce immediately.'
'Huell, you happy?' 'Reasonably.'
'Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. Two copies.'
'Three million dollars for three months of your time.'
'Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!'
'Well, have you given any thought to, um, sending him on a trip to Belize?'
'I am not in danger, Skyler. I am the danger.'
'We got there, there was so much blood, you could taste the metal.'
' I promise you this- either we're all going home, or none of us are.'
'I don't have a damn clue who the hell you are.'
'What are you waiting for?' 'For the cancer to come back.'
'There's all these moves you have to learn, like the helicopter.'
'I swear to Christ, I will put you under the jail.'
'How about some of our tableside guacamole?'
'Buy the RV. We start tomorrow.'
'What the hell is wrong with you! We're a family!'
'Bounce, little man.'
'If I had to put it in a word I'd guess loyalty. Only maybe you got it for the wrong guy.'
'When I input everything into the Quicken, nothing flashed red, so that's gotta mean it's okay, right?'
'A man provides.'

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