Television / Breaking Bad Quotes - Every Episode

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Can you name the episode from which the following Breaking Bad quotes are taken?

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QuoteTitleNumber
'I swear to Christ, I will put you under the jail.'
'We tried to poison you, because you're an insane, degenerate piece of filth, and you deserve to die.'
'Whole thing felt kinda shady, you know, like, morality-wise?'
'I sure as hell didn't find myself locked in a trunk or on my knees with a gun to my head before your greedy old ass came along...'
'Why? Because your boss is gonna need me.'
'Last chance to look at me, Hector.'
'I'm just not the man I thought I was. I think I'm done as a cop.'
'Three million dollars for three months of your time.'
'Dude, play some Jethro Tull.'
'You ever smoke anything else, Wendy? Sausages don't count.'
'Todd, I think it's time I meet your uncle.'
' I wouldn't trust these two to break into the Special Olympics.'
'Oh, I lived in London for years, so yeah, this feels familiar.'
'Hey, baby. I got him. Dead to rights.'
'They found water on Mars.'
'Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!'
'What are you waiting for?' 'For the cancer to come back.'
'Look, if selling the methylamine now means that no one else ever gets killed, then I vote for that, man.'
'Wayfare 5-1-5 Albuquerque Center, roger.'
'How about some of our tableside guacamole?'
'I don't suppose you could kiss my ass?'
QuoteTitleNumber
'Uh, is Gustavo Fring your real name?'
'The agent's name is Hank Schrader. May his death satisfy you.'
' I promise you this- either we're all going home, or none of us are.'
'Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. Two copies.'
'I am not in danger, Skyler. I am the danger.'
'A man provides.'
'First things first, you're gonna put a dollar in my pocket, both of you.'
'Smoking marijuana, eating Cheetos, and masturbating do not constitute plans in my book.'
'Skank, skank, skank ass skank!'
'The day Brock was born, I swore I won't let what happened to Tomas, happen to my son.'
'Huell, you happy?' 'Reasonably.'
'Stay out of my territory.'
'When I input everything into the Quicken, nothing flashed red, so that's gotta mean it's okay, right?'
'And I'm assuming you don't have stevia? Never mind. I brought my own.'
'Buy the RV. We start tomorrow.'
' Did Jesse really I mean, did he really squash that dude's head with an ATM machine?'
'If I had to put it in a word I'd guess loyalty. Only maybe you got it for the wrong guy.'
'What the hell is wrong with you! We're a family!'
'You are not welcome here. The DEA is not welcome here.'
'My legs don't work that way.'
'There was no fugue state. I remember everything.'
QuoteTitleNumber
'If I had just lived right up to that moment and not one second more that would have been perfect.'
'You got one part of that wrong. This is not meth.'
'Catalytic hydrogenation - is it protic or aprotic? Because I forget.'
'There's all these moves you have to learn, like the helicopter.'
'You wanna talk methylamine? Then tell your partner to stop threatening me, and let's talk.'
'Woodrow Wilson? Willy Wonka? Walter White?'
'You are not the guy. You're not capable of being the guy. I had a guy, but now I don't.'
'This is my advice, and you should take it: Sue your husband for divorce immediately.'
'Yeah, bitch! Magnets!'
'I don't have a damn clue who the hell you are.'
'You know, he is- he is smarter than you, he is luckier than you.'
'Where did that come from? And why was it so damn good?'
'Marie - Get out.'
'You know, Walter sometimes it doesn't hurt to have someone watching your back.'
'Bounce, little man.'
'You know, I didn't give the box to my mom. I traded it for an ounce of weed.'
'We got there, there was so much blood, you could taste the metal.'
'When I went out this morning to get the newspaper I saw a pizza on our roof.'
'Well, have you given any thought to, um, sending him on a trip to Belize?'
'Jesse, why? Why, in God's name, would I poison a child?'

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