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Musical Theatre Spoilers
Can you name the musical based on a plot spoiler?
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Spoiler Alert: Classics Edition
After grueling hours revealing their innermost secrets, a select few of the characters are rewarded with faceless identical roles.
The leading lady is of mixed-race heritage.
Guinevere becomes a nun.
The unrepentant main characters continue their misdeeds in prison.
Melchior is sent off to reform school when his parents discover he got Wendla pregnant.
Thanks to the Publishers Clearinghouse sweepstakes, the nuns can bury the last four bodies currently occupying their freezer.
The feud is a fake to ensure that the two men's children fall in love.
The evil king is torn to pieces by his collaborators once he's defeated by his rival.
Kim shoots herself so Chris will be forced to raise their son.
One character gets turned into metal, and another to dried grass.
Billy dies at the start of the second act, and then hangs around as a ghost for a while.
The main character was kicked in the head by a horse as a child, and as a result has cognitive and emotional disabilities.
To satisfy the giantess, all the characters break the fourth wall and offer her the narrator of the musical.
Nancy is beaten to death by her boyfriend.
Nellie is so disturbed by her love interest's children that she breaks off their engagement.
The hard-to-categorize song that almost doesn't get released is among the greatest hits of Frankie's career.
The shy, reluctant child performer becomes a burlesque star.
When Sarah tries to speak to the President, nervous Secret Service agents shoot and kill her.
Abuela Claudia dies shortly after revealing she holds the winning lottery ticket.
The plant kills everybody. No, everybody. Even you.
J. Pierrepont Finch bumbles his way to Chairman of the Board.
The main character disappears from under his cape, leaving only his mask behind.
The crazy beggar woman was actually his wife. Too late, though, basically everybody's dead.
Gay AND European!
The main character murders his alter ego's love interest.
The American colonies secede from Britain.
The nerdy white guy wins the spelling bee
Princeton proposes passing on his hard-earned life lessons in a Broadway musical and is immediately ridiculed by everyone in the cast.
Everyone sings an upbeat song about the Great Depression and the upcoming New Deal. No, seriously.
The chorus girl becomes a star
Um...something about a giant squid
The, ahem, institution of the title is closed down.
The main character goes off to dance school.
Even though it's not the right day, Tommy finds the mysterious town again so he can be with his true love. He's surprised even though THE ENTIRE PLOT REVOLVES AROUND MAGIC
The main character terrifies everyone by running around in a pig mask.
Unusually for a musical, the main characters break up.
To no one's surprise, the character with TWO solo songs is chosen for the great honor that drives the nearly-nonexistent plot.
The two rival murders join in a vaudeville act to try to recapture their fading fame.
The single man at the center of the play has an epiphany about marriage, via one of the best songs ever written for the theatre.
The woman the two men were conning was actually conning them.
Tzeitel and Motel's wedding is disrupted with violence from men of the neighboring community.
The rescue finally gets to the main character, but he's been dead for 3 days.
The kid supplies part of his college fund so his dad can put on a strip show.
The main character takes a romantic song and turns it hilarious by being pregnant.
One of the main characters completely changes herself to please her boyfriend.
One of the main characters completely changes himself to please his girlfriend.
Little Edie doesn't get married.
The most devoted gambler ends up playing in the mission band.
Something about a trip and the military and maybe Claude is dead and...oh, don't ask me, they keep changing it
The television show is finally integrated, thanks to those meddling kids
The main character got a (botched) sex change to be able to leave East Germany, but the Berlin Wall came down less than a year later.
...and never gets the comeuppance everyone in the audience is expecting!
How can you have a spoiler for a thing that has no plot?!
What, I'm going to spoil a story that's over 2000 years old?
The Pharaoh sings like Elvis (well, it surprised me!)
The lovers who run off together are caught; the man dies, the woman says she will kill herself and is not heard from again for the rest of the show.
The main male character spanks the main female character, in public, for bad behavior. Eesh.
I have no idea how I could spoil any of this show more than the show itself does...
The main character runs away to avoid having to explain anything to his daughter, but she finds him anyway about two minutes before he dies.
Then a bunch of characters he hardly knows sing him into the afterlife.
The main character ends up with Pierce Brosnan (wouldn't you?).
The childrens' band is terrible, but the townspeople are charmed anyway.
Eliza returns to Professor Higgins in a crowning triumph of Stockholm Syndrome (um, sorry, was that supposed to be romantic?)
A man dies of AIDS.
The butler did it (killed the owner of the house, that is).
When the main character finishes her ardurous journey, she learns her lover was engaged to someone else all along.
The raise was already counted into the production costs...but the manager was keeping all the money for himself.
The main character gets his death sentence commuted, but is kidnapped from jail and lynched.
The main character kills his father, but then another character resurrects him.
One of the main characters eventually succumbs to her addiction, but the play ends with the other one going off to find her anyway.
A magic piano and something about a flying saucer
The crying is, in fact, Mary's imprisoned cousin Colin.
The antagonistic main characters are each other's romantic pen pals.
Elsa breaks off her engagement with Captain Von Trapp before Maria has to get rid of the competition.
The hotel proprietress is running a human slavery ring.
The main characters get to produce their show on Broadway.
The cruel businessman who ran the town had the right idea, and everyone dies in the draught.
The burly bodyguard is gay.
Zanna successfully turns the world straight, leaving himself an outsider...until Tank reveals he remembers.
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