My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside,
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark.
When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command.
A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter,
I believe it was Shakespeare, or possibly Howard Cosell, who first observed that marriage is very much like a birthday candle, in that
Perhaps you are thinking: 'But a tank costs several million dollars, not including floor mats. I don't have that kind of money.' Don't be silly. You're a consumer, right? You have credit cards, right? Perhaps you are thinking: 'Yes, but how am I going to pay the credit-card company?'
In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukkah' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukkah!' or (to the atheists)
As you get older, you've probably noticed that you tend to forget things. You'll be talking with somebody at a party, and you'll know that you know this person, but no matter how hard you try, you can't remember his or her name.
I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect,
I love the Olympics, because they enable people from all over the world to come together and--regardless of their political or cultural differences--
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to
Skiing combines outdoor fun
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life
Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you can repeat words!
The metric system did not really catch on in the States,
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not
Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them,
The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning
Scientists tell us that the fastest animal in the world, with a speed of 120 mph, is
The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been
All of us are born with a set of instinctive fears - of falling, of the dark, of lobsters, of falling on lobsters in the dark, of speaking before a Rotary Club, and
Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet,
The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why
I had no shoes and I pitied myself. Then I met a man who had no feet, so
There was nowhere to sit except the bunk, which was covered with rotting food, and a wooden stool, upon which sat a large fur-covered lump—
If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you’ll notice two things about them: 1. They all had editors. 2. They are all dead. Thus we can draw the scientific conclusion that