| quote | character |
| 'I'm the good drug dealer!' | |
| 'It's not a purse, it's a satchel. Indiana Jones has one.' | |
| 'I wish I liked anything like my kids like bubbles.' | |
| 'What are you gonna do for your encore? Walk on water?' | |
| “I was gonna listen to that, but then, um, I just carried on living my life. | |
| 'Yeah well I'm Catholic. I don't want to piss Mel Gibson off!' | |
| 'You smell like beef and cheese, you don't smell like Santa.' | |
| 'Four candy canes for you Glen Coco! You go Glen Coco!' | |
| 'And in the morning- I'm making waffles!' | |
| 'Hey! Come see how good we look!' | |